


If the Witness Lies

by princepsinferni



Series: Tumblr Threads [1]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Child Abuse, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg, Parent/Child Incest, don't worry the major character death isn't seb or ciel, not ciel/vincent incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-03-14 10:44:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 20
Words: 51,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3407690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princepsinferni/pseuds/princepsinferni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian Michaelis is a sixteen year old, with shaking hands and far too many bruises to just be "i fell down the stairs again'<br/>Ciel Phantomhive is a fourteen year old, with a single parent dad and a major crush on the sleepy, skinny boy across the street.<br/>Neither of them were ready for Sebastian's father dying, nor the accusation that Sebastian himself did it. After Sebastian reveals the biggest secret of all, everything clicks into place. Only, the Devil still lives and everything isn't as dandy as they had all hoped. </p><p>Thread w/ cielphantomhive211</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you for giving my story a shot. Like I said in the summary, this is a thread I am doing with my good friend cielphantomhive211. Find her on tumblr!

Sebastian Michaelis is a lacrosse player.   
Sebastian Michaelis stays after school.   
Sebastian Michaelis has bruises on his face, his neck, and his thighs.

And, if anyone catches a glimpse of his pale belly, they’ll see scars there, too.

Sebastian blames these “incidents” on lacrosse, but lacrosse players have helmets and elbow pads and chest pads.   
So how can Sebastian get scars and bruises on his cheek when it’s covered by the best money can buy?

It is very dark when Sebastian walks up to the bus stop. He’s wearing last year’s jeans (they’re too big this year. Starvation does things to teenagers these days) and a big sweatshirt. It’s November. And cold. Very very cold.

"Good morning, Ciel," Sebastian says happily, his breath coming out in fog.   
“Happy Wednesday." 

Every day. Happy [insert day here]. And Ciel is the only pretty good thing in his life. Ciel…

 

Ciel was bundled up in the warmest clothes and sweaters he owned as Sebastian walked up to him at the bus stop. He somehow managed to still be freezing, so he couldn’t understand how Sebastian was fine when he was just wearing a sweatshirt and jeans. It seemed impossible to him.

"If you can say that. It’s freezing out here. I honestly don’t know how you’re not freezing." He shrugged, then dropped his bookbag and opened one of the pockets, digging through it. Where were they? Hm… aha!

He produced a pair of gloves that were too big for him, his Father’s and a pair he would never miss. He handed them to Sebastian, giving a brief smile. “Here. I swear. I’m going to have to start carrying extra clothes for you on a gym bag or something.” He joked, though his gaze said that he was serious. In the dark, he couldn't see if anymore bruises were on his face, and perhaps told the better. If Sebastian was getting so hurt by playing lacrosse, then he shouldn't play it. He shook his head, his gaze turning concerned for a moment before he hid it. He wanted to ask, but all of the answers were always the same. Instead, he asked, “Are you alright?"

 

Sebastian took the gloves instantly.

They smelled like Vincent. Vincent Phantomhive is a kind man, and Sebastian strives to get his affections growing up.

He’s so gentleman-like, not afraid to kick an ass or two, and generous enough to let Sebastian do his computer homework over there.   
'Sure, you can type that essay. Free of charge! Hey, you don't look too hot. An athlete like you should get lots of protein, here let me heat up some food for you.'   
'You look cold. You can have a pair of my sweats.'   
He was always too polite, but it was just so genuine..  
Sebastian couldn't help but wander if he treated everyone like that or just him.

Oh god, does Vincent know?

Sebastian snaps out of his thoughts.

"Huh? Yeah, just a late night last night."   
Sebastian’s bruised hands open a big can Monster Energy.   
He chugs it, drinking about half in one go. He couldn’t sleep last night. He kept hearing Daddy pace in front of his room and he was fearing for his life until ungodly hours.

"How did you sleep last night?"

 

Ciel gave a light shrug, looking away.from Sebastian as he covered his mouth and yawned. “I slept fine, once I got to sleep. For some reason, I couldn’t get to sleep, so I stayed awake and read.” He knew he could have texted Sebastian, but he always seemed irritable when he did that late at night, so he refrained. He leaned against Sebastian, trying to share his body heat while also not hurting him. Though, was it just his imagination, or did he have to lean farther than he did last year to press into Sebastian? Had he gotten thinner? He scowled at the thought, not liking it in the slightest. He changed the subject, trying to distract himself from his thoughts. “Hey, why don’t you ever let me go to your house?” He questioned, successfully distracting himself with the question he had somehow never asked before. He wondered how he had never thought about it before.

He watched as the bus came down the street, glancing up at Sebastian with a curious gaze. It was honest curiosity, with how he was completely in the dark about what was going on between Sebastian and his father.

"My dad doesn’t like having sleepovers," is all he says about it, dismissing the subject and watching the bus roll up.   
He takes Ciel’s hand, holding tightly. It’s an odd thing Sebastian does, holding Ciel’s hand like this. It keeps him grounded. It keeps him from floating off, it keeps him here and safe and-

The bus wheezes to their stop, and the doors open. Sebastian pulls Ciel onto it and sits in the first open seat.   
He leans against Ciel’s shoulder, closing his tired eyes (dark bags have even started to form from his lack of sleep) and muttering, “Daddy doesn’t like it at all.”

He doesn’t really know what he’s referring to. Daddy’s hatred of Vincent, or Daddy’s hatred of his own son?   
Sebastian opens his eyes.   
Why is he even trying? He can’t sleep!   
-   
The first class they have is gym. Sebastian puts his long curly hair in a pony tail, and pulls on a pair of (very) short athletic shorts. They reveal his pale hairless legs, his pale thighs, and the small scar here and there.   
One scar does stand out, though.   
An x. On the top of each thigh.

Sebastian runs his fingers through his ponytail and looks at himself in the mirror. He pulls back his bottom lip to look at his teeth.   
Pearly white, dangerous.   
He looks back at Ciel, then tries to smile when another student pulls hard enough on his hair to make Sebastian yelp.

 

Ciel had already noticed the scars that Sebastian had on each thigh, and as he glanced at them now, concern showed on his features. How had Sebastian gotten the scars? They didn’t look natural, like if he had hurt himself on accident and had to get stitches. And what sort of accident happens where you hurt the inside od your thighs in the first place? Though, he wasn’t a fool. He had never asked about it, having sensed that the topic was off limits.

He glanced over at Sebastian, giving a brief smile. He was wearing a pair of longer shorts and a t-shirt, ans already wished that this class could be over. He bated gym. Hated how he got out of breath so easily and started wheezing. And their teacher seemed to hate him, with how she never let him go back and get his inhaler when he forgot it. Which, he had done now. It seemed as if she barely believed he had asthma, that she believed he was faking it.

He sighed, glaring at the teacher for a moment before glancing over at Sebastian when he heard him yelp. His eyes narrowed ans his gaze hardened when he saw someone pulling Sebastian’s hair. A small glance was given to the teacher before he stood up and walked over to him, pushing the other student’s hands away from Sebastian. “Why don’t you go pick on someone else?” He spat out, getting between the student and Sebastian.

He was always doing this. Always getting defensive over Sebastian if someone hurt him. It made him angry, that anyone would want to hurt him. “Go pick on someone who isn’t already injured. Or are you that weak or scared to have to do it to people who are weaker than you?” He knew Sebastian wasn’t weak.

 

Sebastian hisses at Ciel, pushing him out of the way. He isn’t weak, he isn’t weak! If he was weak, would he be alive right now? If he was weak, would Daddy be so scared of him that he felt the need to  _controlcontrolcontrol?_  No! Sebastian Michaelis, you are not weak!

His fist clenches on it’s own, and he inhales deeply. Adrenaline pumps through his entire body. He’s itching, his muscles itch and his fists itch and everything just itches. Itches to be set free, to do what it wants and it itches to- to-to-to-to

With a low, inhuman growl, Sebastian’s fist rears back and- BAM

The student falls to the floor, clenching his stomach and crying. Sebastian’s foot finds his throat, and he presses down. The bully’s cries turned to choked sounds and Sebastian growls, “Never again, never again, you will not harm me ever again. Am I understood?”

He is not weak. He is strong, he is a clever raven and he is much much stronger than  _them_ or  _him_ or  _Ciel_ or  _Daddy._

The teacher stands and runs over, pushing Sebastian off. She quickly asks what happened, and Sebastian explains that his kid has been hurting him for months and he had finally had enough. Coach look sat the kid, then Sebastian, and decides it was fair. Neither of them are punished, and Coach kindly asks Ciel to not forget his “inhaler”.

 

Ciel rolled his eyes as the coach reminded him to get his inhaled, and he gave a brief nod before running back into the gym locker room. Well, not running. More like a fast walk.

He dug through his bookbag, finding his inhaled after a few moments before quickly striding back out to the gym and sitting in his spot. He was quick enough to be able to get a glimpse of the boy that Sebastian had punched before his friends surrounded him.

He glanced back at the teacher, almost glaring at her before feeling the spot where his inhaled was in his pocket. Now, at least, he wouldn’t pass out. Hopefully.

A scowl settled on his features as it was stated that they were to do ten laps around the gym, and a pit of dismay opened in his stomach. Of course, the coach never let anybody quit. She’d rather let them pass out. He clenched his hands into fists, his gaze going around the gym as the pit of dismay grew. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t.

He sent a helpless look to Sebastian as the whistle blew, and he waited until the other was near him to start running and speak. “I can’t do ten laps, Sebastian! And you know how she never believes me, even when I’m practically dying from lack of air!” He tried to focus on his breathing and making it even as he ran, attempting to last longer than he usually would.

 

Sebastian wasn’t breathing.

Or, at least, he doesn’t look like he’s breathing. And Ciel can’t hear it.

"I’ll run with you," Sebastian says softly, "I always do, don’t I?"   
So, Sebastian stays close to Ciel, runs at Ciel’s pace, and never breaks a sweat. Afterwards, they play some sport that Sebastian is somehow good at, and then they’re sent off to change.   
-   
Sebastian peels off his clothing like a second skin, shoving it back into his PE locker and shimmying on his clothes.   
He lets his pretty hair down, and murmurs something to Ciel, “My daddy is leaving tonight. He wants me to stay over at your house again. Do you think your dad would be okay with that?” Sebastian’s hands are pale and cold and shaking. He gets very nervous around Vincent very fast. He is such a kind man, Sebastian fears that one day he will not be able to leave.

But Daddy will drag him out kicking and screaming, so Sebastian settles for making himself leave.

 

Ciel still panted as if he’d run a marathon as he changed out of his soaked clothes. It was like he had gone swimming, they were so drenched in sweat. He took a few puffs of his inhaler after changing into his normal clothes and finally turned to Sebastian. His breath hitched as he saw how nervous Sebastian seemed to be, and how his hands shook. He listened, then smiled and hugged him. “He wont mind at all! He’ll be on his office like usual, unless he decides to come out some. I think he will if you’re over.”

He smiled broadly, attempting to get his breath back as his chest and stomach.seemed to ache from his difficulty in breathing. “You…know you just need to ring the doorbells when you get to my house.” He picked up his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. “How long will he be gone and where is your father going?”

 

"I don’t want to talk about it," is all Sebastian says, looking away.   
-   
Ciel doesn’t see Sebastian until lunch, then. He sits alone, mostly. Quiet, reserved, looking at his fingernails.   
He dad is as rich (maybe richer?) as Ciel’s, so he doesn’t qualify for free lunch. And since his dad never gives him anything (besides maybe a good beating and more of-), Sebastian is left without a lunch most days.

But not today. His only other friend gave him five dollars. He biked up to the gas station late last night.

"Ciel," he says as his (only) friend walks into the cafeteria, "Can you sit with me? I-I need to tell you something."   
Is it going to happen, Sebastian wonders. What are you gonna tell him? That you’re secretly in love with his dad?

Sebastian looks away after that thought, deciding that it’s best to tap his nails on his Monster can and leave it be.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i couldn't help it. I'm posting a second chapter before I go play video games.

Ciel briefly looked concerned as he saw only the Monster can in Sebastian’s hands, and not any food. He sometimes sat with Sebastian, but mostly he happened to sit with his other…acquaintances. They weren't friends exactly, but still people to sit with, being Alois and Elizabeth and Finny. And every time he glanced over at Sebastian on random occasion, he never seemed to have any food.

He tilted his head to the side at the question, nodding quickly as he followed Sebastian to a small empty table and sat down. He had brought his lunch box today, and since it was still the beginning of lunch, he knew Sebastian wasn't going to have anything. Or else, he’d be in line now. 

"What is it?" He questioned, opening his lunch box and taking out his sandwich. It was cut in half, and he offered half of it to Sebastian. "I tried making my lunch today. I’m not sure how well it went."

 

"Your dad usually makes it, doesn't he," Sebastian asks, taking the sandwich and murmuring his thanks.   
Scary.

He nibbles on it lightly, then decides it’s good. He fishes out a wrapped straw. After he opens it, it reveals to be a McDonald’s straw. He sticks it in his drink, and then adds a straw from Wendy’s.   
"You can have this one. You probably don’t want to share germs."

Sebastian wiggles awkwardly, and looks away.   
He takes a sip, and then a bite.

The two of them sit silently for a minute.

Sebastian eventually opens his mouth.

Say it, say it, tell him, Sebastian! Don’t the bruises on you legs hurt? Isn't it a pain to sit? Can’t you stop it?   
"What’s your dad like? Does he care about you?"

That’s what comes out?! God, you’re such a fucking idiot! Bash your head into a wall, you useless slut-   
"I-I mean- what-what- Do you-"   
Scramble your thoughts-   
"I-I-I-I-I…uh-uhm-"  
Say it say it say it sayit

"Samuel raped me last night."

Perfect. Just what you need. Ciel doesn’t know your dad’s name is Samuel.

 

Ciel immediately tilted his head to the side again as he was asked about his dad. Sebastian should already know what his father is like, as he’d been over enough times for him to drop the nice act and act normal around him. And, of course he loved him, it showed when Sebastian was there, didn't it? He was about to voice his confusion when Sebastian spoke and stuttered, seeming to trip over his words. What was he trying to say? He stayed silent, waiting for Sebastian to get out what it was that he wanted to say.

When he did get it out, his eyes immediately widened in surprise, and his mouth dropped for a moment. Sebastian was….he was…raped? His grip tightened on his sandwich and he tensed, shaking his head. His gaze became cold and furious, yet also caring. “Sebastian, who is Samuel? Is he one of your friends?” He asked, his voice going against his gaze and sounding concerned. “You were raped? Why didn't you try to call me?”

And why hadn't he noticed anything? He lived on the other side of the street and a few houses down from Sebastian. He should have seen something going on, heard voices. 

"Are you alright?"

 

His breathing increases. His heartbeat is coming out of his chest. Sebastian drops his sandwich, because his hands are shaking. He’s asking you who Samuel is. He’s asking you. He wants- he cares- he’s going to!

A choked out, strange sound comes from Sebastian’s throat, and his eyes are out of focus. Too many questions. Too many feelings.

He stands up abruptly, slamming his fists down and spilling his drink.   
Sebastian spirits towards the cafeteria exit, but he only makes it halfway before he overthinks and his body crumples.

He had fainted mid-stride, sliding along the floor and hitting the door with a loud thump.   
A gasp ripples through the crowd, and Sebastian really shows no sign of getting up.   
-   
The nurse is kind. She looks over Sebastian and gives him a glass of water when he wakes. When Ciel walks in, the nurse i asking Sebastian if there’s anyone at home who can pick him up.   
Sebastian hugs his knees, his eyes shut tightly. Horrific images keep running through his mind. He doesn't want to speak.   
"Sebastian," she asks softly.   
"Vin-Mr. Phantomhive."   
"Is that your step dad?"   
"No."   
"If he isn’t family, Sebastian, I’m afraid-"   
"He’s an emergency contact."   
It’s true- when school had started, Sebastian has filled out his health form and everything on his own. He had only put Vincent as an emergency contact- of course, Mr. Phantomhive didn't know that.

 

Ciel makes a small face, taking out his phone and quickly texting his father to come pick him up, and that he had to pick up Sebastian also. He told him that Sebastian had fainted, then put his phone away and stepped forward to be beside Sebastian. “My dad will be more than willing to come pick him up. He’s already picking me up for an appointment," he stated, just wanting to make sure that Sebastian was alright. "How are you feeling, Sebastian?" He asked, looking over him to see if he looked hurt. He thought that he had hit his head pretty hard on the door.  

He refrained from touching him, since he looked like he didn’t want to be touched at the moment.

“My dad will pick us both up. I already texted him and he’s on his way. You need someone to stay with you.”

 

"I’m fine," Sebastian hisses, but he knows he’s lying.   
He’s not fine.   
He wants to kill himself.

But that would mean letting Samuel win, wouldn’t it? God, maybe Samuel will finally fuck him at the wrong angle and Sebastian will crumple lifelessly?   
The thought sends a shudder down Sebastian’s spine. He grips his knees tighter and lets out a tiny, quiet sob.   
-   
Vincent arrives maybe two minutes later. He sped. And drove recklessly. Sebastian lets Vincent help him stand, one hand holding tightly onto the adult’s arm.   
Vincent smiles his charming, caring smile and Sebastian’s knees go weak.

Mr. Phantomhive ends up carrying Sebastian out, Ciel by his side.   
Sebastian fell asleep, his head against Vincent’s chest.   
"What happened," he asks, waiting for Ciel to open the backseat to his car before gently setting Sebastian inside. Vincent had left the car running, so Sebastian can relax to his favorite radio station.

"The school just called me and told me it was an emergency regarding Sebastian." 

 

Ciel looked at Sebastian worriedly, gently closing the door behind him and trying not to wake him up. He debated on whether or not Sebastian would want him to tell his father what he had told him, then decided against it. It had obviously taken everything that Sebastian had to tell him what had happened, it wasn’t his right to tell his father without fully knowing Sebastian’s opinion on whether he should.

"He fainted. I was talking to him during lunch, and he freaked out about something I said, and while he was running, he just fainted and collapsed, sliding along the floor until his head hit the door." He explained, purposely leaving out what they had spoken about. He got into the passenger side of the car, waiting for his father to get in before continuing, “He asked me earlier if he could spend the night, and I told him he could. Evidently, his dad is out of town. He’ll need some clothes to wear.” 

He stayed silent for a few minutes, thinking and letting the topic slide a little before casually asking, “Is there anyone named Samuel who lives near us? I heard the name around school, and it could be anyone.”

 

"Samuel, hm? I don’t know a Samuel," Vincent says softly, leaning against his car.   
Sebastian sure is a strange kid. He fainted at school, he stays up until odd hours (Both Vincent and Ciel have received texts at small hours in the morning), and now…

"Oh well, we’ll figure it out. Get in."   
-   
Vincent drives home slowly, but Sebastian thrashes and falls onto the floor, anyway.   
Vincent carries Sebastian into the house, and calls over his shoulder, “Check the mail, Ciel.”

When the mail is checked and sitting on the table, Vincent comes and sits down. He had placed Sebastian in his bed, knowing how much Sebastian finds it “comfortable”   
Only a fool wouldn’t be able to see the major crush Sebastian has. It isn’t an odd thing. Ciel’s friends have crushes on his dad all the time. Vincent shuffles through the mail, and after a few bills he stops. 

"I think we got Sebastian’s mail. To-"

His voice stops. His face pales a little.

"Mr. Samuel Michaelis."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay get ready for a long chapter. Also, I wanna put in some warnings. We see a glimpse of Sebastian's life, the the rape is implied but....it's still there. It get's much, much worse. And I know it may seem like we're moving a bit fast in the story, buuuuttttt..... this is a long story and Vincet/Ciel finding out about Samuel is only a small portion of what's to come. I plan to make this like a thirty chapter story. Maybe more.

Ciel immediately tensed as he heard the name, struggling not to show anything in his expression. That was the only Samuel he knew, and the one that would make the most sense for Sebastian to be so scared now and act this way.   He noticed how his father’s face paled and he walked forward, looking at the mail in his hands. Just seeing the name made rage run through him, and the grip he held on the glass of water in his hands was near enough to break it. 

"Father, you have to let me know when Sebastian wakes up." He stated firmly, glancing into his eyes.

"It’s important."

He wouldn't let his father know that Sebastian’s dad hurt him and raped him. His father could figure that out on his own, but he wouldn’t help him. "I’ll be in my room." He walked away and upstairs to his room, shutting the door behind him and turning on his laptop. He quickly went to ever criminal site that he could and typed in the name, then just on regular search, also. He wanted to know everything he could about the person who had hurt Sebastian.

 

Samuel’s record is clean. Nothing. He’s the CEO of some company, and his wife died when Sebastian was tiny. Nothing major to report.

About twenty minutes later, there’s a knock on Ciel’s door and Vincent says, “He’s up, Ciel.” 

Sebastian is dressed in Vincent’s too big button down shirt, sitting on the couch. He is staring at the TV, but Ciel can tell he isn’t really paying much attention to it. Vincent sits on the other side of the couch, wrapped up in some project he’s working on. Sebastian is clutching a coffee cup filled with steaming hot tea. He’s probably been up for awhile, talking to Vincent.

"Hi, Ciel," Sebastian says quietly, looking at his tea.   
He’s sitting Indian style, his toenails painted black like his fingernails. Sebastian looks at Ciel, then, and his eyes have dark rings from lack of sleep. Vincent chews on the inside of his cheek, which is a nervous habit for him.

 

Ciel gave a small smile, trying to take away some of the tension that the room seemed to be filled with. He sat down on the floor between his father and Sebastian, wanting to be close to his friend, but not too close. He still didn’t know whether or not he was alright with being touched.

"Hey. I was worried about you, when you passed out. I thought maybe something had happened, and you hurt yourself," he said, glancing up at the other with worry clear in his eyes. "And then, on the ride here, you wouldn’t stop moving."

He stops for a moment, taking a breath and resisted the urge to reassuringly touch the other. "Do you hurt anywhere? I can get you some medicine," he stated, avoiding the question he had asked Sebastian earlier. He saw the dark circles around his eyes and nervously starting picking at his nails.

“Or, if you’re tired, you can go back to sleep. You don’t even have to talk at all, if you don’t want to.”

Though, on the inside, he was boiling over with questions. How could Samuel’s record be clean? Was it even his dad that raped him, or someone else? Sebastian did seem to come to school a lot with no lunch… But something had to have happened for his dad to do that. 

 

Sebastian makes his way across the couch, curled up against Vincent. He closes his eyes tiredly, not saying anything when Ciel talks to him. He feels sorta bad about not giving CIel any answers, but he's past caring. Sebastian is very tired, very hungry, and he wants nothing more than to be wrapped around his best friend’s dad’s finger and cry.

Sebastian mumbles something about being hungry, but he passes out moments later.   
-   
He sleeps for hours, this time. Vincent covered him with a blanket.

It was maybe three AM when Sebastian woke up and wondered himself home.   
He took a Pop-Tart from the pantry, Vincent’s shirt, and the blanket he had been covered with. It's a cold walk across the street, and the light posts light the way. How many times has he snuck out of Ciel's house? He comes to stay the night, and leaves between the hours of one and three. Sebastian shudders, pulling the blanket up over his head. He knocks softly on the front door of his house, and feels his stomach drop when the deadbolt unlocks.   
-   
When the Phantomhive house wakes up at noonish, Vincent doesn’t comment as he sips his coffee. Sebastian leaving during the middle of the night is actually quite normal.

"What’s so important about Samuel," he asks over breakfast, holding the bill out in front of him.   
Samuel Michaelis. Samuel.   
A name for the Devil. An alias.

Sebastian Michaelis. Sebastian. 

The name of a Saint who was martyred by arrows for being a Christian.

Vincent sips his coffee, musing.  
They have the same initials. SM. 

 

Ciel shook his head, already having decided that he would lie to his father about the importance of someone named Samuel. “I just heard around school that a person named Samuel did something horrible. It was just a rumor, but I’m still curious," he said, hating that he was lying to his father.  But, he was lying for Sebastian, and he’d be stupid if he denied that he didn’t like the other as more than a friend. Though, he kept it a secret, not even showing his jealousy or hurt when Sebastian showed how big of a crush he had on his father. 

"It’s nothing, honestly." Ciel stood up and stretched, walking over to his father and hugging him before taking the bill from his hands. "I’m going to go take this to his house." He stated, for once deciding to ignore Sebastian’s warnings about his dad not liking visitors.

He calmly walked out of the house and down the street a few houses, crossing the road and looking up at Sebastian’s house. He debated on whether or not to leave it in the mailbox before walking up to the front of the house and ringing the doorbell.

 

Sebastian answered the door. His cheeks were tear stained. He leans against the door frame. Exhaustion is written across his features.

"Ciel," he asks dully, like he can’t believe Ciel is there.

"Who is it," a voice yells from inside the house.

"Ciel," Sebastian calls back, but his voice cracks like he’s been yelling for awhile.

Sebastian takes the bill from Ciel. His shirt sleeves ride up as he reaches-   
Cuts. Cuts. Cuts. Cuts. Up and down his wrist. Red and angry and suicidal. Cuts cuts-   
Sebastian looks at the envelope, squinting. What is this? He doesn't seem to realize that his shirt sleeves have come up until he feels a chilly breeze on the underside of his wrists. Panicked, Sebastian hastily thanks Ciel and quickly shut the door. 

While standing, breathing in the scent that came from the door being slammed shut, Ciel hears it.

That ear piercing shriek he hasn’t heard before.   
Screaming. Terrorfied, sad, angry, everything all at once.   
And then, quiet sobbing and a thump.   
The doorknob wiggles, but then it stops and everything has stopped and it's so deadly _silent._    
Two words. Two words.   
'Daddy, stop!'

Ciel was frozen, not even sure what to do anymore. His mind was a mixture of emotions, from panicked to protective, to confused. He backed away from the door, almost wishing he hadn’t heard it. But, he had, and it was all he could do to stop from trying to barge into the house now and try to help the other. But what help would that do? What kind of help would he be, if Sebastian couldn’t even fight him off? Or perhaps he wasn’t trying? Perhaps he still felt like the man was his dad, and was letting him hurt him?

He shook his head, wiping his eyes free of some tears as the screams and begs seemed to echo in his mind. He ran back to his house, panting and not even saying anything to his father before he ran up the stairs to his room and locked the door behind him. 

He took out his phone, texting Sebastian.

_**12:14 PM** [You’ve got to_ _do something about your dad, please. He can’t be hurting you like that.]_

He quickly sent it, then thought about the cuts that he had seen lining Sebastian’s arm. There were so many. Was Sebastian just scared, or did he not trust him to tell him any of this?

 

Ciel received one text back.   
One hour later.

A video.

_**mp4 file: 1:34 PM** _

The room is dark, and Sebastian is on a blood stained mattress. He’s barely breathing, he’s only wearing that shirt that Vincent gave him a month ago.   
"Sebastian," a voice says, and red eyes snap open.  
"Don’t-No more, please, stop hurting me."   
"Just say hello for the camera."   
"No, don’t, he doesn’t need to see this-"   
Moments later, the camera loses focus as it’s set down.   
Sebastian kicks his legs as he struggles, but then Ciel realizes that his ankle is chained to the bedpost.   
"Daddy-Daddy-Daddy- stop dont please don’t let him see this-"   
The video cuts when Sebastian’s shirt is ripped off, revealing his naked self.   
-   
Vincent quietly knocks on the door.   
"Ciel? Ciel, open up. What happened? Are you okay?"

He’s worried, in all honesty. Ciel went over to give Samuel his bill, and then he comes back a few minutes later and hides in his room... 

 

Ciel’s face went ashen as he watched the video he was sent, one hand going up to his mouth to contain a scream of his phone. He was trembling, his skin pale like he had never seen the sun, and his breathing is raspy and quick. 

He stood up, walking over to his window and glancing at Sebastian’s house, texting back.

_**1: 36 PM:**_   _Stop it!_

He felt like such a child, and his heart was breaking because of what Sebastian was going through. He walked back over to his bed, hiding his phone between his mattress and bedpost before walking over to his window again, staring out of it before sliding down the wall with his knees against his chest.

He needed to tell his father, he couldn’t help Sebastian on his own. But, it might make Sebastian worse. “I’m fine," he replied, though his voice cracked a little at the end. He could hear how raspy his breath was, but his panicking mind wasn’t taking account of that, and he was too worried to care about the black spots dancing in front of his eyes. He laid his head against his knees, his lungs seeming to tighten painfully, as breathing became difficult. He couldn’t think anymore, and he was too far away from his inhaler. His eyes widened before he crumpled, his small body not making much of a sound as he rolled onto his side.

 

The audio file played itself when it was sent.   
Damn IPhones.

A loud, pathetic wail.   
"Stop it!"   
Oh, just like Ciel’s text. Sebastian’s shriek pierced the air between Father and Son.

Vincent had had enough.   
-   
The door opened as Ciel faints, and Vincent quickly catches his fragile son before he hits the ground.   
"Shit," he mumbles, picking Ciel up effortlessly before putting his little one on the bed.

He looks at Ciel’s messages.

That video, he plays.   
And his heart tightens before it breaks completely.   
Ciel calls him Daddy when he wants something, and he won’t be able to do that anymore.

Vincent had always wondered why Sebastian acted so weird, and now, now he knows.   
-   
When Ciel wakes, Vincent is sitting on the end of the bed. Replaying that video over and over with the sound off.

"Why didn’t you tell me," he asks the phone, but it’s directed towards Sebastian. Why didn’t he tell? There has to be a reason for this.   
It takes a moment for Vincent to realize Ciel is awake.

"We can’t do anything," Vincent says, putting Ciel’s phone on the bed.   
"Samuel is obviously highly violent. You going over there could mean you getting killed. The best thing we can do is get Sebastian over here and talk him into doing something."

 

CIel curled up into a small ball, mimicking the position that Sebastian had done in the health room the day before. Tears sprung to his eyes, and he fought to control his breathing as he saw his phone in his father’s hands and the video playing on it. He already knew Sebastian most likely wouldn’t do anything.

"He won’t do anything. It took everything he had to tell me that Samuel raped him at lunch today. When I asked who that was, he panicked and started to run from the cafeteria, that’s the real reason he fainted." He shook his head, feeling his throat tighten and reaching to his nightstand for a glass of water and taking a sip. 

"I never knew of this until today. I didn’t know it was his father until I returned the mail." His voice was desperate, pleading, and he was starting to tremble again. "His record is clean. I checked it all out yesterday. Nothing shows up on why he would be like this or do this."

 

"Remember that Samuel is very rich," Vincent says, crossing his legs.   
"He can most likely buy anyone’s silence. That’s probably why his record is so clean.."

He can’t stop thinking about it.   
The terror in Sebastian’s eyes. The pleading.   
'Daddy, Daddy, no'

Why hadn’t he noticed it before?   
"Sebastian will get sick of it eventually. I sense a spark in him."   
And Vincent never, not ever, misreads people.   
-   
The rest of that day is spent in quiet. Vincent studying up on the affects of child abuse, and drinking tea instead of making lunch.

He mostly stays out of Ciel’s way, buried up to his neck in books and internet articles.   
-   
Vincent couldn’t sleep. Not while knowing the Hell Sebastian is going through.   
When is the last time he ate? Is he bathing? Does he have a toothbrush? Millions upon millions of thoughts.

Vincent gave Ciel the last of the melatonin, so he’s definitely asleep by now.

To say that the quiet knocking on his door was unexpected is a lie.   
-   
Ciel is woken by Vincent.   
Shaking him awake.   
It’s still dark outside.

"I’m taking Sebastian to the hospital. Come with me to keep him calm."


	4. Chapter 4

Ciel let out a groan as he was shaken awake, his mind groggy from the effects of the medicine he had taken. He couldn’t fathom a reason for his father waking him up so early, while it was still dark. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, squinting to see his Father properly in the dark. As soon as he heard what he said, he was scrambling out of his bed, pushing his father away to put on his shoes that were next to his bed. He had left them tied, so he just pulled them on, not even bothering to change, as he hadn’t changed out of yesterday’s-or was it still today’s?-clothes.

"I would come even if you didn’t want me to," he stated, an obvious protectiveness in his voice as his eyes glinted in the light. "How bad is he," he asked, keeping his voice low as he pushed away the effects of the medicine he had taken. He needed to be alert to fully read Sebastian and how he felt. 

He barely waited for an answer before quickly walking out of his room, and downstairs, shaking his head.

 

Sebastian was laying on the couch.

His hands were wrapped up in gauze, and so was half his face and his feet and his arms. Almost everything is wrapped. Blood is seeping through the bandages, and his one visible eye is open and staring at the ceiling.

Vincent’s hands are bloody, and he gently pick Sebastian up. He makes a small, feeble sound of pain. Hurts. It hurts to be touched.   
"Daddy," he cries softly, "Daddy, stop it. Stop it."

In the car, Sebastian placed gently in the backseat, that’s all Ciel hears.   
Babbles of "Daddy, Daddy, don’t kill me, please. Daddy, stop hurting me. I’m going to die, you’re killing me"

Vincent grips the steering wheel very very tightly.   
He peels out of the driveway, the radio playing Sebastian’s favorite station softly.   
-   
Sebastian is rushed to the trauma unit.   
Vincent answers a few questions, and then they’re sitting together in the waiting room.

For the first time since Rachel died, Vincent looks away from Ciel and lets out a quiet sob. VIncent can't believe this is happening. There's so much going on. Between the videos sent to Ciel's phone, to Sebastian breaking down, and now this? Sebastian had snuck off home only a few days ago. No, it was yesterday. And now, now Sebastian is laying in the trauma unit. He could tell that the kid was close to death.   
He answers Ciel’s questions with a shake of his head.

The doctor comes out an hour later.   
"Sebastian….has suffered from numerous stabs and slashes. Third degree burns, and internal bleeding. He's stable, now. He needed a few organ transplants and a lot of blood transfusion. He also has quite a few signs of sodomy," the doctor stammers. He's seen hell within this skinny teenager. He's seen the scars when he ripped off the bloody corset to operate. 

"Or, anal rape is the correct word." 

Ciel turned to his father, worry evident on his features as he nervously held his knees and trembled, trying to keep his tears at bay. “Father, do you think he’ll be okay?” He asked, biting the edge of his lip in nervous habit. As he receives only a shake of his head, a trembling breath left him, before his eyes widened as he heard the man sob.

Only once had he heard the sound, and that was at his mother’s funeral. That was the only day and time that he had heard his father cry, and to hear it now truly frightened him. If his own father couldn’t stay strong, how could he? He was weaker than he was! He had only dealt with the loss of his mother and dog! 

The grip on his knees became tighter, and he took controlled breaths, quickly blinking to keep his tears from going down his cheeks. He had to stay strong for all of them. Someone had to be strong, and he was the only one left. As the doctor came in, he immediately stood up and listened to him, his eyes widening at hearing what Sebastian’s injuries were. That much?! And for how long?! How long had he suffered this?! 

He took a shuddering breath, straightening his shoulders as he replied, “What room is he? I-We-need to see him.” He looked right up at the doctor, his tone carefully controlled to not show anything that going on inside of him.

 

The doctor leaded them away, and Vincent’s breath hitched when he saw him.

Helpless.

Sebastian was conscious, breathing steadily. The gauze Vincent had so carefully placed on him had been replaced. At least he wasn’t bleeding anymore.

His eye needed stitches, along with the back of his left hand and his thighs.   
Cuts mar his pretty pale skin, and when Ciel and Vincent enter-   
Sebastian opens his eyes and blinks a few times.   
"Ciel," he says, struggling to sit up.

Vincent helps, and Sebastian coughs.   
"Ciel," he repeats himself, as if that'll help.   
He grabs the bed sheets, his eyes tear up and-   
"Samuel is my Father’s name. He’s been…raping me since I was five. Please don’t tell anyone, especially the police! Please, please, please don’t-"

He sobs helplessly, just crying so he can get the pain out.   
Vincent and Ciel don’t know.   
They don’t know. They don't know!   
They don't know about Samuel's body, laying on the floor. The blood, the gunshots, the- 

They don’t know. And Sebastian can’t let them see! 

He lies about being in the hospital.

"I tried to kill myself," he lies, so easily so very easily.

Vincent doesn't say anything, just runs his hand through Sebastian’s hair and lets him cry.

 

Ciel sat on the edge of the bed, feeling his heart tear and break as he heard how long Samuel had been doing this. How could he have not seen the signs? Why did he always believe the excuses Sebastian gave when a bruise was visible? Why was he so stupid?

He immediately rushed over to Sebastian as he started sobbing, his arms awkwardly going around him and holding him close, wanting to give him comfort. He ran his hands soothingly along his back, trying to calm him. “You know you need to do something about him. He can’t keep doing this forever. If you don’t want me to call the police, then I won’t," he promises, pulling back to try to look into Sebastian’s eyes. His touch was so gentle, as if he was scared of hurting the other. 

"Whatever you choose to do, we’ll help you," he whispered, knowing, that he, at least, wouldn’t mind if the man was dead. He deserved to rot. He deserved to never be seen or heard from again. To be doing this for so long, it was wrong. "You can stay with us, for as long as you want."

 

Sebastian’s skin was made of silk, his bones made of glass.   
Feeble, broken, but beautiful.

He doesn’t flinch from Ciel’s touch, actually he relaxes.

"Samuel has been taken care of."

It’s death, it’s his life goal. He can die now.   
The heart monitor spikes and slips, Vincent presses the emergency button when he realizes that Sebastian is clutching to his chest. Within a few moments, a new doctor is pushing Vincent and CIel from the room. They are shoved aside further when a team of nurses storms in.    
-   
"He suffered from a minor heart attack. Sebastian was stable…I don’t know what happened. I’m sorry but I must keep him under observation for today," the doctor says, looking through his clip board.   
A heart attack? Now? It doesn’t make any sense.  Well, there are a few cases that doctors will talk about for months. Like the rumors and dirty jokes kids pass around. Though, some stories is the kind that will haunt employees for month. There are only a few cases that strike so close to the heart...  
Sebastian Michaelis is definitely one of them. 

Vincent takes the news gracefully, nodding and paying for the medical bills with ease. 

-   
When they get home, there are police cars everywhere. Sebastian’s house has been taped off, all yellow and dangerous. Red and blue reflect off the windows, and Vincent pulls up into his driveway.   
He parks the car and turns it off, getting out. He fixes his hair in the window, in case any cameras are near. He's a very rich man. easy to find on Wikipedia. Even if his son's best friend has been in the hospital since two am (Vincent can see the sun starting to rise. The clouds are pink, optimistic), Vincent has to look amazing. 

"What the hell happened here," he asks, walking across the street to the nearest cop.   
"Samuel Michaelis, shot three times in the chest."

Vincent's eyes widen. He remembers Sebastian coming to his door so late. Bloody hands. He could barely walk. It's amazing that he made it so far. Did Sebastian truly try to kill himself? If Sebastian had tried to die, wouldn't there only be two vertical cuts? Or maybe some pills? Why would Sebastian put himself through so much pain? Vincent frowns, because he quickly puts it all together. Sebastian didn't attempt suicide. No, Samuel had been hurting him, and Sebastian had finally had enough. 

 

Ciel stepped out of the car, staying near his side, which was opposite the policeman and his father. He listened, widening as he realized what Sebastian had done. He shook his head, then tried to compose himself as he looked down at his clothes. What a lucky day to be wearing almost all black.

He tried to seem as inconspicuous as he could as he walked away from the car, his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the ground. Knowing how Sebastian had been, he had panicked when he shot him, and the gun might be out here. Was he really going to steal a piece of vital evidence against his friend? He knew that he was. Sebastian didn’t deserve to be in jail. It would break him.

He stayed away from the police tape, straying toward the edge of the woods. A sudden shine shone among the grass, and he looked around before walking over to it. As he was picking it up, he noticed a policewoman walking over to him, and he quickly slipped it into his pocket and took off his ring, giving a small smile. “I dropped my ring as I was walking. Do you know what happened here," he asked her, acting clueless, his heart racing. Would he be found out? He was panicking, sure he would be found out. 

But, he wasn’t. “Samuel Michaelis was shot three times in the chest. Now, you can’t be over here, kid. This is a police investigation," she said briskly, shooing him away.

Ciel quickly walked back to the car, slipping inside with his hands over his pocket, in case anything would show.

 

Vincent quickly pulls Ciel into the house. He shuts the blinds tightly, and locks the door.

"You know what really happened, right?"

Vincent chews on the inside of his cheek, sitting at the dining room table.   
How many times has he shared this table with Sebastian? Talked quietly in French, learned bits of Latin, shared his dinner?   
And last night, that one moment at two am.

Sebastian couldn’t stop crying, he was telling himself he was ugly, and Vincent had-   
Kissed. They kissed.   
At least Sebastian stopped crying.   
And Ciel doesn’t know about it. Or maybe he does.

Vincent runs a hand through his hair, sighing.

"Sebastian killed Samuel. There’s no way anything else happened. But if Sebastian killed Samuel, there’s no way it was murder. It had to be self defense. You saw the video, didn’t you?"

Vincent decided not to tell Ciel about the other video Samuel had sent. Too horrific.   
Sebastian’s thin body wrapped up in a corset, slowly stripping his clothes.   
Oh, he was so skinny, and the amounts of cuts and bruises and burns.   
Sickening.

Vincent inhales deeply.   
"Sebastian won’t be able to come back until tomorrow. At least he can come home to us. Without a legal guardian…Ciel, I’m going to do something drastic. Ever since... you know, the hospital. There's no way Sebastian can go back to that house. And if he's put in a foster home, there's a chance he'll get lost in the system and end up in even more danger. I know that you like him... a lot. And I'm totally okay with the whole 'my son has a boyfriend' thing, so don't worry about that. But I just don't... feel comfortable... not knowing where Sebastian is or what he's doing. I want to adopt him." 

 

Ciel was both horrified and ecstatic at the news that his father was going to adopt Sebastian. Ecstatic, because he knew Sebastian was going to be safe. Horrified, because he loved him, and he would be stripped of that chance of love with him if he was adopted. He didn’t know what to feel, what to do. In the end, he muttered, “It’s your decision.”

His eyes watered, and he held back tears that would have to be shed later on.

“He’ll be safe here. We’ll protect him.”

He wasn’t going to be selfish, he had to forget about his feelings for the other. 

Without a word, he slipped the gun from his pocket, placing it on the table and staring down at it. He sighed, shaking his head, sure that his feelings were visible for once. He was sure that his father could see how much emotion he was repressing and trying to hold back from the other. 

"I was looking for it. Even if it was self-defense, it seems like Samuel would have been careful enough to make sure there was no evidence of it in his house. The only thing we have to count on are the videos and sound clip, we aren’t even sure Sebastian would testify against him. He wouldn’t be able to last in court. I had to take it before they found it. He can’t go to jail. I’d rather go instead of him." He shook his head, pushing himself away from the table. There was so much going around in his mind, so much hurt and panic and anger. 

"He loves you, you know. He keeps all of your things. I can tell how much he loves you just by watching him. He’s never looked at me like that, he only thinks of me as a friend, " he says, jealousy clear in his voice. It catches at the end, and he shakes his head, "You can adopt him. I just want him to be safe." He then escaped the room, running up to his own, locking the door behind him for the first time.

 

Vincent thought it best to leave Ciel alone. He knows it was a bad idea to suggest adopting Sebastian. But, somehow, it felt logical. 

He knocked once for dinner.   
-   
The next time Ciel hears a human voice, maybe a day later, it’s Sebastian’s. Vincent had received the phone call that Sebastian can come home earlier that day.   
"Ciel," the older teen asks softly through the door.   
"Ciel, can you please open up? I need to talk to you."

He leans against the door, wearing a sweatshirt and some athletic shorts. Vincent keeps the house cool for Sebastian- he gets over heated so easily.   
Sebastian runs a hand through his hair before chewing on the inside of his cheek.   
Vincent had told him a little bit of what happened. They found Samuel’s body, the gun, and Ciel pretty much confessed his crush.

Sebastian blushes a little as he thinks about it. He does love Ciel, but he always thought Ciel didn’t love him.   
And then there’s Vincent- the single dad that Sebastian had found himself loving as well. Or maybe it was lust.

He loves both of the Phantomhives!

But now, now he has to focus on Ciel.

"Ciel, Ciel please I…," Sebastian begins, playing with his shirt.   
"I want to talk to you, please. I know you’re probably angry at me, but I-I want to tell you. I want to tell you everything. I-If you'll let me." 

Coming out like this is dangerous. They will hunt Ciel down, even with Samuel dead. They will find a way to hurt the family Sebastian had wanted for so long. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is kinda a filler chap. sorry guys.

Ciel hadn’t gone down for dinner that night, and instead chose to stay up in his room, hiding under the covers of his bed as he held his hands to his face. He had been trying to hide it, since Sebastian had shown no evidence of liking him back. And then he basically just told it to his father. It wasn’t like it would matter anymore. Sebastian was going to be adopted, and that was that. His chances were over. If anyone were to know if they were together…he didn’t want to think about it.

He opened his mouth when he first heard the voice at the door, about to tell his father to leave when he heard it again. It was Sebastian. He slowly got up, composing himself, trying to seem strong. He walked over to his bedroom door, unlocking it and opening it, looking up at Sebastian, a relieved look on his face. “You’re alright. I’m glad. I’m always so scared that I’ll lose you," he murmured, letting Sebastian inside of his room again before closing the door behind him. He walked over to his bed, sitting down, resisting the urge to curl up to get warmer. He always got cold easily, so he was wearing longs pants, a sweater and sweatshirt, and socks. “Where do you want to start," he asked, not knowing his father had told of his crush with the other.

 

Sebastian, first off, produces a paper bag. He dumps it out on Ciel’s bed, and an assortment of pill bottles and pills land there. Even a few grams of weed, and Sebastian fidgets with his fingers. 

"I’m going clean. I told the doctors that Daddy drugs me up sometimes, when really I’m the one doing it so it doesn’t hurt.." 

He takes the bottles and throws each individual one away. Well, except for one. 

"This is for my schizophrenia," Sebastian explains softly, setting it on Ciel’s desk. He flops back down on Ciel’s bed, flicking a few stray pills onto the floor, Vincent doesn’t ask many questions, does he? Sebastian grabs a pillow, holding it to his chest tightly. 

"And your father says he wants to adopt me, officially. But that would make us brothers, in a way. I, I told your dad to let me think about it. I wanted to ask your opinion because.." 

Does Ciel know that you know? No, Sebastian decides, no he doesn’t. 

”..Because, I-I really..l-like you.” 

Sebastian’s face turns red, and he hides his face in to pillow and  he thinks his heart will explode out of his chest. And no, it isn’t because of the withdrawal, because he’s high right now, but he can still think and talk. Those weren’t all of his pills, they were only most of them. He can’t stop thinking about Daddy’s blood splattering on the ground the walls, and even a few drops on his own damn cheeks! 

 

Ciel widened his eyes as he saw the pills, bottles, and weed land on his bed. He didn’t expect this. Then again, when had he expected any of this? He should be used to being surprised by now. He kept staring at the amount of things on his bed, nodding as heard Sebastian was going clean, before everything but one bottle was thrown away. Once they were off of his bed, he looked up at Sebastian, worry clear in his gaze as the other laid on his bed and clutched a pillow. He didn’t know what to say, so he stayed quiet and listened.

He nodded as Sebastian said that his father planned to adopt him, and he tilted his head to the side, as Sebastian said he wanted his opinion. Why would he want his opinion? His eyes widened as he found out why, and his heart fluttered in his chest as butterflies flutters in his stomach. Sebastian liked him! He nodded, smiling as he harshly blushed.

"I-I like you too…" He murmured, before shaking his head. "But you’re safest here…"

 

"That doesn’t mean Vincent has to adopt me," Sebastian points out, then looks away. Ashamed to raise his voice.

"I don’t want him to adopt me."

Sebastian sits up, frowning and looking up at Ciel.   
"I’m sorry for raising my voice. It’s just…him adopting me means we won’t get to be together. If-If you wanna be-be boyfriends!"

Sebastian sneezes, and when he wipes his nose, there’s a red trail.   
He freezes. He doesn’t want to move.   
But he looks at the ceiling, and his eyes widen in horror.

Daddy? What are you doing up there? Why can’t Ciel see you watching me? You can;t be a ghost, can you? You can't be a demon and a ghost. That's not fair! Sebastian blinks once and the nasty image is gone, but his nosebleed is still there. 

He tastes his blood, and he gags (naturally). Red spews from between Sebastian’s lips, and he coughs horrendously.   
"Tissue," he begs, and when he finally gets one, he holds it up to his bleeding nose.

 

Ciel immediately stills as Sebastian raises his voice, and his gaze flickers to the bed as he bit the edge of his lower lip. Who else would adopt Sebastian and let him live here? If he was adopted by someone else, there was a large chance he would get taken away. He did want to be Sebastian’s boyfriend.

He widened his eyes as he saw the blood running underneath Sebastian’s nose, and he stood up as a tissue was begged for by the other. He ran to the other side of his room, getting a handful and then giving them to Sebastian, watching as he pressed it up against his nose. 

"I thought you had a crush on my father…" He admitted, shaking his head as he kept blushing. "It seemed like you never even thought of me. You came here just to be with my father, you preferred to be with him." He looked away, ashamed at the jealousy he was feeling. "I do want to be your boyfriend. It’s just…who else would adopt you that’s close to here and would let you stay with us?" He didn’t know anyone who would adopt Sebastian with the terms that they wanted.

 

"I like the attention Vincent gives me," Sebastian confesses, and moves the tissue from his nose. He’s already stopped bleeding?

"I was jealous because he gave me the fatherly love I never got."

Sebastian rolls throws the tissue away, grabbing his pillow again and biting his bottom lip.   
"I don’t anyone to adopt me. I don’t want to be owned anymore. I’m not a toy that is to be passed from one person to another. I ended that chapter of my life when I shot Samuel three times."

He sits up, and motions Ciel to come closer.   
He pokes him once in the stomach, “I shot him here,”   
Once on Ciel’s upper stomach, “here,”   
once directly in the middle of Ciel’s chest, “and here.”

Sebastian grabs Ciel, suddenly, and pulls him down on the bed.   
He wraps his arms around his new boyfriend. This feels so familiar, so right.   
"Maybe when I was younger I had a crush on Vincent. But I’m older, and I feel older than I should, but I like you. I mean, I like you as a boyfriend. And I think you’re really cute. Like a kitten."

 

Ciel shook his head, not liking how Sebastian thought that he was like a toy being passed on if he was adopted. That wasn’t what it was like at all. He wasn’t owned. He wasn’t like a pet. He shuffled closer to the other on the bed, his gaze shifting down to his torso as Sebastian poked him where he had shot his dad. 

He let out a slight squeak as he was suddenly grabbed, falling down into Sebastian’s lap with his arms around his neck. “Sebastian," he called out, before going quiet, pressing his cheek against Sebastian’s chest and hearing his heart. He liked the warmth that the other gave off, as if to warm him. “I’m not a kitten, though," he protested, shaking his head as he brought one of his hands to Sebastian’s, holding it and intertwining their fingers. “I’m glad you like me. It’s been hell, watching you try to get closer to father while I just sit there and watch," he closed his eyes, hiding his fear from the other. “We’ll make sure you will never get caught. We have the weapon. They have no real proof against you. I promise I’ll protect you.”

 

"Your daddy loves you," Sebastian murmurs. He doesn’t say anything else. Just that.   
Vincent loves Ciel, a love Sebastian has been trying to snag for years. A fatherly, caring, love. Just affection. Sebastian craves affection. He can feel that hole in his chest where he has nothing.

He passes out, his eyes shutting and he goes limp.   
-   
Vincent knocks, “Ciel? Is Sebastian okay in there?”

Sebastian is asleep, quiet. He’s barely breathing, like he’s almost dead.   
But then he’ll go into a coughing fit, clutching Ciel’s pillow tighter. So, no, Sebastian isn’t dead. Not quite. 

Although with the nightmares he keeps having, maybe he’ll finally be released from this life.   
- 

Waking up to the smell of food, Sebastian nearly falls off the bed. Or, what is that? He has never smelled such a thing before! He follows his nose, his mouth watering. OKay, he's smelled it before but so close to him? He walks down the steps, and finds his little, new family sitting at the dinner table. He takes a seat beside Vincent and keeps his hands in his lap.   
"You aren’t hungry," Vincent asks over lunch. Or, Wendy’s, as Sebastian soon learns.  Sebastian shakes his head, but nibbles on Ciel’s fries. He hasn’t eaten in so long, he isn’t hungry anymore. He’s so hungry he isn’t hungry. Imagine that.

Vincent eats Sebastian’s food, and Sebastian lays his head on Vincent’s shoulder.   
He smells so nice.

But isn’t he in a relationship with Ciel? He doesn’t understand that. He just wants Vincent to give him fatherly advice and tell him how to flirt and what the hell birth control is.

 

Ciel quietly ate his food, remembering how Sebastian had thrashed in his bed, plagued by nightmares that he knew he wouldn’t be given any information about. Was Sebastian plagued by nightmares about his father? Or about something else? He shook his head, eating the rest of his food and leaving his fries for Sebastian, as if he had forgotten about them.

He watched how Sebastian laid his head against his father, wishing he would do that to him, just cuddle up to him like they were close. But, even when he was about to sleep, he hadn’t gotten close.  He shifted his gaze away from them, knowing that what Sebastian wanted from his father was only affection, and he knew he’d have to tell him to give Sebastian more of it when they were alone together. 

He took a sip from his half-finished strawberry smoothie, then held it out, offering it to Sebastian. Even if he wasn’t hungry, he didn’t know when the last time he ate was. The last time he could have definitely eaten was when he stole that poptart from their house a couple days ago.

“Here. I’m done with it. You can have it, if you like it. Even if you aren’t hungry, you need to at least eat my fries. I don’t know when the last time you ate was, and it worries me.”

 

"I-I-"

Sebastian blushes, taking the smoothie. He offers Vincent a sip, since he paid for it. He politely declines, so Sebastian sucks down the shake in record timing.

His stomach flips, and he pretends that it’s because Ciel is looking at him and not because his belly isn’t used to food.

"Excuse me," Sebastian says as he stands and goes to the bathroom.

Vincent leans back in his chair, watching Sebastian go before he steals a sip of his (Ciel’s) smoothie.   
It tastes fine. Why does Sebastian look like he’s about to puke.

"When he was sleeping, the cops came by," Vincent murmurs, "And I told them to come back tomorrow. Sebastian has been through a lot. I don’t think he’s ready to face the fuzz. And they see Sebastian as a prime suspect. He was panicking, and he probably didn’t bother to hide any evidence. The police have hairs and DNA and hand prints. Of course, Sebastian does live there…Shit, there’s probably still him powder on his skin. He needs to shower." 

 

Ciel pursed his lips as he saw Sebastain’s reaction to drinking the rest of the smoothie, and he tilted his head to the side in confusion and worry. It seemed like that was all he was doing now, worrying for Sebastian. He widened his eyes as he heard that the cops came by, and he nodded, leaning forward and gripping his knees tightly. “Sebastain did live there, so any hair or fingerprints they find they have to consider if it’s because he lived there," he stated, looking down at the floor.

He nodded, then sighed, thinking about the gun, "We need to wash the shower after he uses it, so none of the powder sticks to it, and then we need to dispose of the gun. Also, we need to dispose of the clothes and shoes he was wearing when he attacked him. They would have traces of the gun powder also.” He kept thinking about things they would need to do, to make sure neither Sebastian nor them got caught. “And what about us? He went straight to us. Would our clothes have traces," he shook his head, now worrying about whether or not they would even be able to hide everything and not get caught. He knew Sebastian hadn’t told his father everything, but with what he knew, he might become an accomplice. He knew for sure that he, himself, could get put in jail for what Sebastian told him. His father could claim that he didn’t know that much, but Ciel couldn’t. “His dad tortured him…they can’t take him to jail. He did what he thought was right, and the only way out. Who knows what his dad did to him every day," he murmured, shaking his head. “He never ate lunch at school, unless I shared some of mine. He never really eats here, unless we practically force him. I don’t know…”

 

"Who knows what’s going on with him," Vincent murmurs.   
"Maybe his dad called him a fat whore, and that’s why he’s not eating. Maybe he doesn’t like strawberry."   
He shrugs, eating another French fry as Sebastian comes out of the bathroom.

Sebastian looks near death. Pale, skinny, and his eyes are so dull. He’s living in a dream, this is all a dream. Daddy isn’t dead, Ciel doesn’t love you, and Vincent isn’t really going to hold your hand when you can walk anymore.

He sits down next to Ciel, shivering. His fingertips are freezing cold, and he keeps his arms folded tightly around himself.   
When Vincent puts a hand on his back, Sebastian’s eyes jerk open and he smacks his hand away, murmuring, “Stop hurting me, Daddy, I did what you told me to…”

Vincent whispers back, “I’m not your father.”   
And he drapes Ciel’s jacket over his shoulders.   
-   
The first thing Sebastian does when lunch is cleaned up is crawl into Ciel’s bed. But he is still wearing Vincent’s sweatshirt. He isn’t sleeping, he’s actually watching TV.   
Waiting to wake up from this dream. He likes Cartoon Network. The light, funny cartoons make him laugh. And they provide excellent background noise. 

Vincent lays his shirtless self on the couch, not at all bothered by the cold like Sebastian is.   
He closes his eyes, replaying last night.

It was three am. Sebastian knocked on his door. He was bloody. He couldn’t walk. If only Vincent had documented it.   
But he did have pictures of Sebastian…


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhm warnings for some voilence, some rape, the usual

Ciel laid on the bed next to Sebastian, wanting to press up against him and offer comfort, but still unsure of whether he should. He ended up doing so, putting a hand on Sebastian’s side as he pressed his face into him from behind. He had promised to protect Sebastian, and he wouldn’t break that promise. He would have to be forced to break that promise.

He let out a small sigh, rubbing one of Sebastian’s arms lightly as he shifted, trying to calm himself down from worrying so much. He had hidden his entire outfit from when Sebastian had first come to the house, and now all he had to do was get Sebastian to shower. “Sebastian,” he murmured, sitting up slightly and nuzzling into the older’s neck, “Would you take a shower for me? I want to make sure all of the evidence is gone, and some of the powder is bound to be on you.” He gave a slight squeeze to his arm, careful not to hurt him as he sat up.

Sebastian looked so lifeless now, and he could feel almost all of his bones when near him. He knew the thee wasn’t getting enough food then. So, maybe his dad hadn’t let him eat? But why would he have said that he did what his dad wanted him to do earlier? Everything Sebastian said was confusing, and he was scared to ask about what his dad had done to him. It always seemed to make him panic and draw inward. “I love you," he whispered, before moving back.

 

Sebastian laughs a little, and he rolls onto his back.   
"I need to go get my clothes from…the house. I’ll be right back. Please stay here. And I love you, too, Ciel."   
-   
He is gone for maybe…ten minutes? But he comes back, carrying a bag in one hand. And a cardboard box.   
"Any evidence you need to prove that my Daddy raped me is in here," he says, dropping the box on the dining table.   
Vincent nods and stands, walking over to the box to open it.

Sebastian quickly leaves, climbing the stairs to Ciel’s room. And he showers in maybe two minutes.   
-   
Squeaky clean, Sebastian comes down the stairs in small sleeping shorts and Vincent’s button down.   
Vincent is at the door, talking to a lady cop.

"Oh, here he is! Freshly showered," Vincent says, turning to Sebastian.   
The police woman smiles kindly, “Hello! My name is Officer Wright. You’re not under arrest, so stop looking so scared! I’m just gonna take you down to the police station for questioning. I’m not even going to handcuff you.”

She can see how frightened Sebastian is. Like a spooked horse that never calmed down. She looks at the cardboard box on the table, and then Sebastian’s skinny self. Did he move out of his house, and then to the Phantomhive’s? And if he is a coldblooded killer, are Vincent and Ciel next? The investigation team couldn't find anything suspicious about the house, nothing that would suggest that Samuel Michaelis' death was nothing more than murder.

 

Ciel let out a sigh as he saw Sebastian walking down the stairs, trying to give him a reassuring look, but biting his lower lip when the other didn’t notice him. He shook his head, worriedly messing with the ends of his shirt as he wished that he could go with Sebastian to the police station. Maybe if Sebastian threw a fit and refused to go without him, but that was only an if and he wasn’t sure if it would help him. 

He glanced at the cardboard box on the table, walking out of his hiding place from beside the stairs and into Sebastian’s view if he turned around. He was hesitant to walk closer. “Sebastian, it will be alright. I promise," he murmured, knowing that the other wouldn’t hear him. It was more to reassure himself, really. He kept worrying, looking at the ground, before walking over to his father. He stayed behind him, reaching out and squeezing Sebastian’s arm reassuringly, “Sebastian, everything will be fine. I promise.”  

He glanced at the female cop, glad that she wasn’t going to handcuff him or anything. It would hopefully make Sebastian more relaxed. He wondered what they would ask Sebastian, and how worked up he would get. 

Really, obviously, anyone can see that Sebastian is really really really nervous. It's only a little bit suspicious. Sebastian shifts from foot to foot, momentarily looking at Vincent. He doesn't want to leave his tiny family. What if the cops find him guilty? What of he's locked up and away, soon to be put on the electric chair? These questions run through Sebastian's brain, sending of bright neon flashes of 'PANIC!PANIC!PANIC!' 

After staring of Officer Wright for another good five minutes, Sebastian reluctantly agrees to go.

-

Sebastian didn’t come back until late that night. He’s disoriented, he’s crying, and he falls asleep on the couch before anyone can find him.   
-   
Vincent drops his coffee cup when he sees Sebastian on his couch. He’s all ready for work, dressed and everything. But Sebastian scared the shit out of him.   
Vincent cleans up his mess and goes to work without waking Sebastian.   
-   
It’s actually Sebastian who wakes Ciel.   
He crawls into his boyfriend’s bed, wraps his arms around Ciel’s waist.   
Sebastian buried his face in Ciel’s hair and closes his eyes.

"Ciel," he murmurs, "I’m lonely. Wake up. The police want my box of evidence, I want you to-to see it before they do."

 

Ciel let out a small groan as he was woken up, and he shifted, accidentally moving to press more into Sebastian. The sudden formation of resistance against his movement is what woke him up the most. He opened his eyes, blushing at how close he found Sebastian to be and backed up slightly, yet not enough to break Sebastian’s grip around his waist. “Se-Sebastian,” he stuttered in surprise, before suddenly moving forward and wrapping his arms around him. “I was worried about you. I’m surprised I even slept at all!”

He nuzzled into his neck, giving a sigh of relief as he fully woke up. “They want to see your evidence," he asked, siting up quickly and nodding. He had to admit he was curious about what was in the box, as he had never looked. “If you want to show it to me, then go ahead," he murmured, sitting up and moving to stand up. “I haven’t looked in it. Though, I am curious about what they would find in there.” He looked at Sebastian, holding out a hand to help him up. “Come, show me what’s in the box.”

 

Sebastian stands up and takes Ciel’s hand.   
-   
At first, it’s mostly corsets and hair clips. A few skirts, a tiny shoe.   
But then they hit the good stuff.

"This was Daddy’s trinket box," Sebastian explains. The clothing is set aside, so they can reach the pictures underneath.   
Sebastian’s face is scratched out- or cut out- in each picture of him. There are a few pictures of graphic sorts. Cuts, and burns, and blatant rape.

"Daddy never expected me to kill him," Sebastian murmurs, holding up a picture of a pale thigh. The word "gaap" are burned onto his skin, and it looks disgustingly infected.   
"And he liked to document the stuff he did to me. I have the scars of these cuts, see," Sebastian murmurs.   
He lifts up his shirt and sure enough there it is.   
The healed over, but still scars,   
"Slut"  
Words carved so carefully into Sebastian’s skin.

It repeats like that. Sebastian showing Ciel a graphic picture and then showing him the scar it left. Or, in some cases, the healing scab. Words like 'whore' and 'monster' and 'demon'. Open and bleeding in the Polaroid pictures, but thin white lines on Sebastian's stomach and chest. Sebastian knows that he can never be beautiful. He'll always be a scarred up, stitched together, cracked, porcelain doll. 

Until Sebastian reaches a DVD.   
He hands it Ciel, “I’m taking a nap while you watch this. I-I-I can’t, I can’t see this." 

 

Ciel never expected what he saw in the pictures. He had seen how burned Sebastian was when he escaped to his house after he killed his dad, but some part of him had hoped that that was the worst of it. His mouth dropped and he held a hand to it as saw the words burned into Sebastian’s skin, or carved, and his eyes water. He ached for Sebasitan, wanting to take the pain away. How much had he endured? How much had he been forced to go through? Too much. 

He stepped forward, shaking his head as a few silent tears left his eyes. Sebastian’s dad deserved what Sebasitan did to him. In his mind, he deserved worse than being shot to death. His hands trembled as he took the DVD, and he nodded, understanding how Sebasitan couldn’t watch it. It must mean it was terrible. He wrapped his arms around the other, holding him tightly. “You’re not any of those things. Whatever your dad carved or burned into you isn’t true. It never will be. He deserved what you did to him," he murmured, then let go of the other. 

"Go take a nap. I’m going to watch this." He said, walking away and to another room, putting the DVD in and playing it.

 

The things on that DVD are less like…whatever Ciel thought he’d see.

The first thing is a little six year old Sebastian. Two needles are shoved into his arms, right into his veins. Sebastian screams, really screams, lets it all out.   
Screams of “daddy stop it!” and “it hurts!”   
But he’s strapped down, and even though he struggles and screams…

Flash forward many videos of brutal rape and Sebastian slowly taking off his clothes, and then they’re back in that room.   
Samuel puts more of that thick, black stuff into Sebastian.

Sebastian has stopped screaming at this point. He is twelve years old. He cannot walk on his own. He is devoid of life. He looks like a skeleton, the dark room only lit up by a single light source. There's a reappearing man, with glasses and shoulder length dark hair. Samuel seems to refer to him as simple 'Doc'. This Doc character is always helping hold Sebastian down.   
"Your fangs are already coming in," Samuel purrs.   
Sebastian snaps at his fingers, a sudden change of attitude.

  
The last video looks like it was taken a week ago.

"Do you want to leave," Samuel asks behind the camera.   
"I wanna leave," Sebastian murmurs, standing on his own.   
"One condition. Let me cut you."

And then, of course, it’s messy and dark and Sebastian is back to screaming.   
There’s so much blood. It has to be wiped from the camera lens every so often.   
-   
"Is it over," Sebastian asks, shaking slightly.   
He didn’t sleep, instead just paced back and forth and cried when he heard himself scream on the videos. He can vividly remember everything he had stored away, as if each scream triggered another set of thoughts.   
"Do-Do you still love me," he murmurs as he walks down the stairs. 

 

Ciel’s eyes were wide and all of the color had faded from his features as he kept watching the videos, watching what Samuel had done to Sebastian. He’s more than trembling now. He’s shuddering, his arms wrapped tightly around himself and not able to look away from the television screen. And even though the volume is turned low so his father can’t hear, he still feels the screams slicing through him. 

When he heard Sebastian’s voice outside of the room, he jumped, then rubbed his face. He didn’t fully understand what Samuel had been doing to Sebastian, what that black stuff was, but he knew it wasn’t good. He stood up, taking the DVD from the tv and putting it back in its case before turning to the doorway. “It’s over," he murmured, then said it more loudly. He walked over to Sebastian, wrapping his arms around him. “Yes, I still love you. But, I don’t understand. I hate asking this, but what was he putting in you?”  He didn’t let go of the other, not wanting to. His face was still pale and his hands were clammy. "What was it doing to you?”

 

"You don’t- if you knew you’d hate me," Sebastian sobs.   
Isn’t it obvious? He’s a monster! He’s some kind of-   
"My entire family is disgustingly full of Satanists! My dad turned me into one of the-the things-in his damn satanic bible!"

He won’t say it. The word is too dirty. Too unclean. Too-Too-Too-   
Demon! That’s what he is! Demon! He has urges to devour people and the only reason he isn’t dead yet is because of this disease pumping through his veins!

"It’s-It’s…I can’t…I just want to relax, okay? Can we relax? Just watch TV?"   
-   
Sebastian curls up close to Ciel, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend tightly. He tells Ciel that Vincent left for work earlier, and that he’s cold.   
So, Sebastian takes a blanket and wraps it around the both of them, Ciel sitting in Sebastian’s lap and Sebastian’s arms around Ciel’s middle.

He holds his boyfriend very tightly.

He watches Cartoon Network- it’s the only thing (besides Ciel’s kisses) that can calm him down.

 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Ciel leaned into Sebastian, staying quiet as he gently stroked his arms, feeling the bones underneath them. He would never hate Sebastian. He could never hate him. But, what had he been turned into? From how Sebastian was saying things, it sounded like he’d been turned into some kind of monster. But, his family was a bunch of Satanists. So, it would be what they worshipped. His brows furrowed, and he gave a soft kiss to Sebastian’s throat and jaw as he kept stroking and drawing designs on him.

What did Satanists worship? He knew they worshiped Lucifer, but did they follow demons and devils, or something else? And how was it possible to change a human into one of those? What kind of demon or devil had fangs? He was determined to find out the answers, even without Sebastian’s consent. 

"I would never hate you. No matter what you do or what you are. You could be pure evil, and I’d still love you," he murmured, breaking the silence. "You never deserved any of this. I’m sorry." He nuzzled into the other, relaxing. "Just try to relax and leave the worrying to me."

 

"I-I can’t-" he sobs, and then he cries himself to sleep.

Sebastian sleeps a lot. Maybe it’s because he can’t sleep at night, and when he sleeps during the day it’s only half an hour before he wakes up screeching.   
-   
Vincent comes home around dinner time, and after he changes and showers, he ties an apron around his waist and begins to prepare their meal.

Sebastian sits on the counter, swinging his feet. Anyone would have thought Sebastian was flirting with the older man, with the way he blushes so easily and how he asks so many questions.   
Vincent laughs a little at every weird question, then leans beside Sebastian on the counter. Sebastian is so tempted to warp his arms around Vincent and bring him close and just kiss him. Vincent's hair is soft, and his cologne smells so nice. Papa Phantomhive is just too handsome, it's like he's some sort of god sent to Earth to defile the mortals. The smirk, the chocolate brown eyes, the little mole underneath his left eye. Everything makes Vincent so attractive and sometimes Sebastian can literally  _feel_ his asshole throb with need and want. 

A moment of awkward silence covers them. They can’t forget that one night Sebastian grabbed Vincent’s face and kissed him until they were both blue. 

Sebastian had went home after that, and didn’t bring up their little illegal acts. And Vincent didn’t, either.   
But now Sebastian is living with him full time. And…it’s scary how good Vincent looks in a frilly apron.

But Sebastian tells himself (the lie) what he told Ciel.   
He only wants Vincent’s fatherly affection.

That’s the lie.

He wants to be fucked so badly he can barely breathe sometimes.

 

Ciel had heard his father come home, but didn’t bother getting up to go greet him. He was too busy researching, finding out things based on what Sebastian said. He was determined to find out what he might be. He didn’t want to harm Sebastian by asking him, and he’d only make him panic again and not learn anything. So, he turned to looking it up on his laptop, looking at every website he could find.

He spent his time in his room, facing away from door and with the screen of his laptop hidden from anyone who might come in. The things that he found out were interesting, and he immediately paled and widened his eyes as he found out what Sebastian could be. Had his dad managed it? Had Samuel managed to turn Sebastian into a demon? Or was it only partially done, with just the fangs? He shook his head, disgusted at himself at the part of him that was repulsed at the idea of Sebastian being a demon. He didn’t hate the other, but he did think of him in a new light. 

He shook his head, deleting his history and closing the laptop. He was tempted to go downstairs and sit beside Sebastian at the table, but he didn’t, instead turning to the TV in his room and watching that.

 

Sebastian called Ciel down for dinner, when the time came. He was sitting beside Vincent, happily squirming. Was Vincnt’s hand in Sebastian’s lap?

Sebastian smiles at Ciel, and turns to his boyfriend.   
"Your dad is a really good cook," he murmurs, then picks up a fork and digs in.   
-   
Sebastian is probably completely nocturnal by now. Even when Ciel goes to sleep, Sebastian is still awake and eating popcorn.   
And then Vincent falls asleep, and Sebastian is left alone with his thoughts. He doesn't mind staying awake for this long. What does he have when he sleeps? MIghtmares? Bad thoughts? Yeah, that's something to look forward to! 

-

Things continue for a month, maybe. School is fine. Sebastian gains two pounds, but still looks like Hell.   
And Sebastian seems like a normal, functioning boy. He eats, he sleeps (rarely) he poops. Whatever a human boy does.  
  


-

Sebastian has been very quiet for the past few days. It’s nearing November. Two months since Samuel died.   
The police bust down their door on a lovely Saturday.

"Police," they yell, and Vincent instantly stands up. Sebastian looks at the officers from the couch.   
"What-What’s happening-"   
"Sebastian Michaelis you are under arrest," one of the two policemen shout and Sebastian freezes solid. Under arrest? For what- oh, yeah, that's right. You killed Daddy. Did you, truly, think that you could continue living happily with the Phantomhives? Did you really think that your past would never ever catch up with you? 

He is, of course, quiet as they handcuff him. And recite the Miranda Rights. The metal is cold against his wrists. He doesn't like being held down like this, but struggling only makes things worse. He's learned this by watching those cop shows with Ciel while Vincent works.   
He doesn’t struggle as he’s shoved into the back of a police car, just hopes his box of evidence is enough.

 

Ciel had begun to hope that Sebastian’s case had been closed without them knowing it, that the police weren’t going to come for him. But, his hope was shattered as the police came and arrested Sebastian. It had been two months, shouldn’t this have happened sooner? And could they really prove him guilty without the murder weapon? That was his hope now, as he stood withdrawn, watching Sebastian get shoved into the back of the police car and as it disappeared down the road.

They’d taken the box of evidence, and now there was literally nothing left to do but wait. He didn’t want to wait. He couldn’t wait. He shook his head, backing away from the door as his eyes watered and his throat closed up. “I hoped this wouldn’t happen….They can’t prove him guilty without the weapon," he murmured, for once pushing his Father away and taking a step back. He didn’t even have a phone to call one of his limited friends with, as that had been taken for evidence also, with the videos that had been sent to it. 

"What if they find him guilty? What if what we do isn’t enough," he asked, wrapping his arms around himself and feeling a few tears go down his cheeks. "He doesn’t deserve to go to jail. You don’t know everything his father did to him. He told me, showed me videos. I can’t-I can’t tell you the worst thing that he did…" He shook his head, escaping to his room, hiding in his bed, imagining he could still smell Sebastian in it.

 

Now, seriously, Vincent wanted to know. But he held in his questions, instead trying to help Ciel. He even tries to put a helpful hand on Ciel's shoulder, but he was pushed away. He bites his cheek, and watches Ciel hide into his room. What did Samuel do to Sebastian that was so bad? Besides the rape, obviously. But for Ciel to get that worked up... There has to be more than just that one night.   
-   
The police came later to arrest Ciel ad Vincent. Harboring a criminal. Vincent came willingly, despite knowing that being arrested could seriously hurt his career as a CEO. Hell, could he fire himself? It's Vincent's own company, he can't be fired from a company he created. He knows that his best man, Tanaka, will handle everything while he's gone. 

They treat the two of them with respect, and Vincent and Ciel are thrown into two separate cells. Well, the police station only has three cells. Ciel and Sebastian get one cell together, while Vincent is left alone. There are four other people in another cell, quiet and watching Sebastian through the bars of their cage. Sebastian doesn't want to meet their eyes, looking away.   
  
Sebastian is so scared, so scared, and he wraps his arms around Ciel tightly. Th people in the other cell turn out to be Sebastian’s brothers.   
The six teen year old buries his face in Ciel’s neck, crying quietly.

Would it be wrong to hide the nausea that’s been attacking him for a week now?

"Ciel," he murmurs, the two of them sharing one mattress. He doesn’t want this to…he doesn’t want Ciel to see his monstrous side. He gets so hungry sometimes, and he wants to devour Ciel sometimes.

"Can I tell you a really big secret," he whispers, pulling the scratchy blanket up and over their shoulders.

 

Ciel was trying to hold in his tears, worry and fear for himself and Sebastian almost taking over his mind. He wasn’t the kind of person to rely on hope, and it had already been shattered once that day. He’d rather not rely on hope again. He buried his face in the pillow, feeling Sebastian bury his face in his neck, and feeling his body shake with each time he would draw in a breath. He could hear him crying, and it prevented him from letting his own out. He didn’t know what would happen. 

When he heard Sebastian murmur his name, it was a welcome distraction from his thoughts. He gently turned the tiniest bit so he could watch Sebastian, shivering as the blanket was pulled over their shoulders. Was Sebastian going to tell him what he was? He’d kept it a secret that he knew. “Of course. I haven’t told my father about anything that you told me. I didn’t even show him the DVD," he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to Sebastian’s cheek, “What is it that you want to tell me?”

 

"Would you believe me if I said I was pregnant? I feel pregnant. I get sick all the time. And I feel…heavier. Maybe I’ve just gained weight but-"   
The lingering ‘it’s happened before’ sucks up the space between them.

Sebastian lets out a sob, and shakes his head. He’s said too much, and soon everyone will know and Father won’t be dead, after all!

"N-Nevermind. Just, just go to sleep. The police say we’ll have the trail tomorrow." How could he have not told Ciel? YOu cna feel the little life within you, can't you? You can't keep something like this hidden forever.   
  
Sebastian eventually goes to sleep, his arms and legs wrapped tightly around Ciel. The police bang on the cages, and Sebastian jerks awake.   
He holds onto Ciel tighter as he yelps, fear coursing through his veins.

He’s been here before. In a cage. Awaiting his fate.

The first thing Sebastian does when he wakes up is puke into the bucket provided. It keeps coming up.   
His vomit is a disgusting grey color. He wipes his mouth and doesn’t speak of this to Ciel.

Vincent hugs his son and his son’s boyfriend, kissing each of their heads an murmuring, “We’ll prove your innocence, Sebastian.”


	8. Chapter 8

"All rise."

Sebastian stands, leaning against Vincent for support. He was afraid to lean against Ciel. His weight would crush Ciel. They would fall. But he holds onto Ciel’s hand tightly, and Vincent murmurs something to Sebastian.   
  
Sebastian’s attorney (Mary Stewart) is someone Vincent paid a lot of money for. Samuel’s attorney (???) is someone Sebastian’s brothers paid a lot of money for. Someone from the underground, someone who crawled around Samuel’s feet.   
“I’d first like to call witness Sebastian Michaelis to the stand,” Mary says.

Sebastian staggers his way to the witness stand. He is out of breath by the time he gets there.   
  
The box of evidence is evaluated, first. Sebastian closes his eyes when the video is shown, and Vincent looks a little green.   
The judge looks at the pictures, and then turns them over so he doesn’t have to see them again.   
“Sebastian,” Mary begins, “when did the abuse start?”   
“When I was five.”   
“And how old are you now?”   
“Sixteen.”   
“So your father has abused you for the past eleven years?”   
“Yes.”

Samuel’s side stands up and says loudly, “Objection! We are here to prove Sebastian is guilty of murder, not if his Daddy was mean to him on occasion.”

Sebastian slams his fist down on the table and screeches, “It was not on occasion! It was every second of every day of every month of every year! It was all the time, every single moment I have loved since I was five years old, it has been every day for the past decade of my life and I had had enough!”

The courtroom is eerily quiet. After a few more probing, which Sebastian shakily answers, he looks like he's going to faint.

Mary clears her throat, “That’ll be all, Mr. Michaelis." 

-   
Sebastian sobs and sobs and sobs as he sits down beside Mary. Vincent offers his hand, and Sebastian shakes his head.   
He has to do this on his own.   
-   
“I would like to call my next witness, Ciel Phantomhive to the stand,” Mary says softly, as Sebastian hugs his knees and closes his eyes.

After the “do you swear to speak of nothing but the truth?”, Ciel is asked his first question.

"How did Sebastian act when you first knew him? Before Samuel died?"

 

Ciel widened his eyes at the outburst Sebastian made after the objection was made, and he shook his head, his gaze saddening at the information. He clenched his hands into tight fists, glancing at Sebastian as he walked back to them, and he attempted to touch him to show he was there, only to take in a sharp breath as his hand was shrugged away. 

He glanced away, widening his eyes slightly as he was called to the stand, before nodding slightly and walking up, making the swear and walking to the witness stand and sitting down. He gazed out at the jury, before looking at the attorney his father had paid for. She should be able to get them to win. Anyone with a heart would let this one win, because it was justified. 

His head bowed as the first question was asked, and he closed his eyes as he was asked the first question. He knew he had to word his reply carefully, so he spoke slowly and deliberately, “He acted normal, most of the time. By normal, I mean like every other teenage boy out there. But, certain topics of discussion he made clearly off limits, or got wary when I started talking about them. Some even made him nervous, like he was about to panic. For example, his home life was one topic he would never say much of. He just stated his dad didn’t like visitors and left it at that.” He put his hands flat on the table, calming himself, “I noticed that he didn’t socialize much, and didn’t like to be near the bigger football players or teachers.” He went silent then, waiting for the next question.

 

"When did you find out about Sebastian’s home life?"

Sebastian can’t handle this anymore. He claws at the table, hiccuping as he sobs. He can hear Samuel tell him how pathetic he is. He can hear it, he can feel the horror within his chest and he’s going to go insane!

Vincent grabs Sebastian’s shoulders, keeps him steady and stable. Sebastian turns and buries his teary face in Vincent’s chest, sobbing harshly.   
But it’s muffled, and the judge looks at Sebastian sympathetically.

"Could you tell me what you saw on the videos Samuel sent you," Mary asks, to distract everyone from Sebastian’s mental break downs.

Vincent rubs Sebastian’s back, kissing his head. “It’s okay, let it out,” he murmurs, then kisses Sebastian’s forehead and helps him sit down. Sebastian wants Vincent with him, so Vincent sits in the extra chair beside Sebastian.   
Sebastian’s breath is jerky at best as he lays his head in Vincent’s lap.

 

Ciel thought back, his lips pursing as he gave a very small hum in thought, “I don’t know the exact date of when he told me someone raped him. It was about three months ago, if I had to guess. My father accidentally got a letter for a person with the same name as the one that Sebastian said raped him. I took it over to return it, and the house it belonged to Sebastian’s dad’s. I learned that afternoon of what his father did to him, as he looked like he’d been sobbing and his voice was hoarse. The door was slammed in my face and I heard his father screaming at him, and Sebastian yelling, begging for his life and-and I panicked and ran back home…” He trailed off, frowning as his eyes watered. He should have gone inside, tried to stop Samuel. The door wasn’t locked, only closed. Why hadn’t he tried to help? Was it because he was a coward?

He glanced at Sebastian, shaking his head as a silent tear went down his cheek. He quickly wiped it away, squaring his shoulders and looking back at the attorney, as if seeing Sebastian mentally break down wasn’t sending daggers into his heart.

His breath hitched as the videos on his phone were mentioned, and his heart was suddenly thumping too loudly in his chest. It was all he heard, and for a moment, he shook his head, closing his eyes tightly as a wave of nausea hit him, causing him to swallow back his own bile.

He gave a humorless laugh, opening his eyes again, “There aren’t words to describe what he did that would make it the same.” He stiffened, chose his words even more carefully. He remembered the video perfectly, though all he wanted to do was forget it, “It was set in a dark room, and it showed Sebastian on a mattress that was bloodstained. I don’t know whose blood it was, but from what I’d heard earlier, I’m prone to guess it was Sebastian’s. H-His breathing was so shallow, as if at any moment he might crumple and die. He was only wearing a shirt that my father gave him, and he was begging his dad to stop, and his dad didn’t seem to care. Sebastian was chained to the bed, begging for the video not to be sent. He was struggling, but it was so weak, as if he barely had the strength. The first video stopped when his shirt was ripped off.” 

He took a shuddering breath, shaking his head and rubbing his temples.

"The other video was much simpler, but what it showed… Sebastian was wrapped in a corset, and forced to slowly strip in front of the camera an his dad. It was evident how thin he was-and still is. Every bone nearly stood out. Malnourished. And there were so many cuts and bruises and burns that were on him were too much to bear. If anything, it’s surprising he’s alive right now." He looked away, a few more tears going down his cheeks as he held his hands in tight fists, "It was evident that everything on him wasn’t caused by him. Only the cuts on his wrists that were shown show how he had to have been desperate enough to try to end it before."

 

Sebastian shouldn’t have been surprised when he felt himself starting to vomit. But he was. He pulled himself forward and right after Ciel finished speaking, he heaves into the bucket.

The next witness is Sebastian’s brother, Gabriel.   
Through the questioning, they discover that Gabriel is twenty two, he has never abused Sebastian. And Sebastian confirms this.   
Gabriel tells the jury all about what he saw growing up. The rape and incest and torture.   
Sebastian, again, confirms that it’s all true.

  
He’s back to crying into Vincent’s shirt when Samuel’s attorney calls one of Sebastian’s other brothers to the stand.   
-   
By the time the jury is out, Sebastian has no more left to cry. Vincent keeps petting his hair, even braids it and weaves some flowers into the braid.   
"My mother was a hairdresser for Hollywood," Vincent murmurs, "And she taught me all sorts of tricks. With this long hair of yours, I’m sure I can do some cool things."   
The flowers are picked from the garden outside of the courthouse by Ciel.   
-   
The jury was out for maybe two minutes. Enough for a quick potty break.   
"We find the defendant Sebastian Michaelis not guilty."

Sebastian lets out a wail, or maybe it’s a cry, but suddenly those tears are back. He’s crying, and crying, and he latches onto Ciel and Vincent and sobs.   
Is it finally over?

He feels a new wave of nausea. He wants to go home.

 

Ciel could barely hold in his own tears as the verdict was given, and he was latching onto Sebastian so tightly, he was surprised that he didn’t hurt him. He’s crying just like Sebastian, but it’s tears of joy, and he lets himself cry. Sebasitan would be safe with them, he wouldn’t need to be adopted. They could be together. 

He fully kisses Sebastian, and he doesn’t care that they’re in public, or that anyone could see. He hugs Sebastian tighter than he should, and he buries his face in his neck, letting himself feel safe for once since this whole event has started.

"You’re safe. I’m so glad. You’re not guilty. None of this was your fault. I’m sorry." He couldn’t get the words out fast enough.

 

Sebastian pulls away, and he can’t seem to look at Ciel. He enjoyed the kiss, definitely. No, no Ciel's kiss is perfect. A bit inexperienced, but that's okay. Sebastian loves Ciel, with everything he has.    
His tummy is growing. The weight gain isn’t him getting more…fat and muscle. No, no, it’s Daddy’s Last Present.   
"Gabriel is going to adopt me," Sebastian whispers.

Vincent scowls, “We hardly know him! You hardly know him!”   
"He’s my brother," Sebastian retorts, then adds, "Well, half brother. But still. If he adopts me, Ciel and I won’t be considered incest, and I can marry him if I want."   
Sebastian blushes deeply at the thought of him Ciel coming down the aisle. Their wedding wouldn't be huge, and maybe only Vincent would attend. Ciel all wrapped up in white... maybe on a beach... Churches hold no value for Sebastian. 

"And I-I actually have a confession to make."   
Vincent politely makes himself scarce to go and get the car.   
-   
Sebastian pulls Ciel outside, and sits him down in a bench.   
"Ciel, Ciel I took a-a pregnancy test last night," he murmurs. Sebastian gently takes Ciel's hands in his own, watching as people shuffle out of the court room. There weren't many people, truly. Samuel's attorney gives Sebastian a bad look as he passes. 

"A-And the test...I-I'm...you know... Pre-Pregnant.." 

He sobs and presses his face into Ciel’s neck. He doesn’t want to lose this family as soon as he got it! But he can’t give birth to a baby in this town. In this state, in this country, in this…dimension!

 

Ciel immediately widened his eyes, his hands coming to cover his mouth like they always did when he was overwhelmed. So, Sebastian was pregnant? The question remained still of how he could get pregnant…

He ran his fingers through Sebastian’s hair, nodding slightly, until he heard that Sebastian was leaving. His arms quickly went around him, and he shook his head, not letting Sebastian hide this time. “I just got you back for good. I’ve just gone through the worst months of my life as well as some of my best, and you’re just going to leave? You’re going to leave me here. I just got news that you wouldn’t be taken to jail for good.”

Ciel’s eyes water, and he shook his head, a few tears going down his cheeks as he puts a hand over Sebastian’s stomach briefly, aware that they were still in public. “You’re not leaving me. Either you stay here, or I leave with you. I’m not losing you again. Do you want me to have another asthma attack caused by panic?” He pulled Sebastian close, his hands tightening in his shirt and he shook his head, trembling. “Ho-How are you able to get pregnant?” He murmured, closing his eyes. “Was it part of being turned into a demon? Or something else he did?”

 

"Ciel, if you came with me we’d have to deal with-with you going to school and what if the baby looks like Daddy? What if-"   
He cuts himself off, and he looks away from Ciel. Isn’t this the boy that cares about you? There are only three people who want you. Gabriel, Vincent, and Ciel. You want to be with those who love you, right? So why not let Ciel tug along?  
"I’m being homeschooled," he murmurs, "So when I get really pregnant no one will make fun of me. I’m actually going to be homeschooled for the rest of my life. So I can take care of the baby."  
He puts Ciel’s hand back on his belly. Even though the baby is just a fetus, something that can be removed, he still wants it to know it’s(their? His/her?) real other parent.   
He will raise them as a mother should.  
"Will you….will you be my child’s…dad? In a way, I guess. I mean," Sebastian squirms.   
"You’re my boyfriend. And I’m having a baby. I don’t know who the father is, though. Isn’t this seen as a bad thing? Shouldn’t you be breaking up with me? For….," he trails off.   
What’s the word? He can’t think of it.   
Sebastian sighs and he lets Ciel take his hand away. The baby is probably Daddy’s baby. Congrats. You’re having your father’s child. So what will that make your baby? Your sibling or your daughter?   
His head spins and his heart lurches and his stomach flips but he holds onto Ciel tightly.   
"At least ask your father before you leave with me. I don’t know how he’ll react."


	9. Chapter 9

Ciel’s expression immediately fell slightly as he heard Sebastian’s protests, and he looked away from Sebastian, not understanding why he was trying to push him away. Why didn’t he want him near him? Didn’t he wanted the support he would give? Didn’t he want to be close to him? 

He pushed the thoughts away, instead focusing on the other, listening to him, and smiling as his hand was put back on Sebastian’s belly. He could see the small bump of Sebastian’s stomach, and he glanced down at it, his expression softening. His eyes then widened as he was asked to be the child’s dad, a position he didn’t know he was ready to fill yet. He had never planned this, any of this. 

He was about to reply when Sebastian spoke again, and he shook his head, not seeing how he could break up with the other for something that wasn’t his fault. He brought his hand to his lips, kissing the back of it lightly as his eyes watered, “I will ask my father. But, I won’t break up with you over this. It isn’t your fault, and the least I can do is take care of the child. Even if you truly don’t wish me to go and I stay, I won’t break up with you. And yes, I will be the child’s dad. I’m not quite ready for it, but I’ll try my best."

 

"But it is Father’s child, don’t you see," Sebastian begs. He grabs Ciel’s hand to stop him from walking away and he actually pulls him down closer. "I have my father’s child growing inside of me. It’s an abomination, but I couldn’t not find it within myself to abort this child. I don’t want it, but I don’t want it dead, either. How can you still love me even if I am this dirty? This…this disgusting…-"   
He cuts himself off, and breathes deeply for a few long moments.

"Go ask your father if you can come with me. Gabriel lives across town. It’s at least an hour drive, depending on traffic. Gabriel is adopting me, or gaining custody as we speak. But I’m sure that he won’t mind if I stay with you. Maybe Vincent can get Gabe an apartment down the street. And I can be home schooled. I can live with you, but Gabriel would be my technical guardian."

There’s so many situations in Sebastian’s head. He doesn’t want to go to school ever again. He wants Vincent to kiss him goodnight. He wants Ciel to hold his hand. So many things…  
-   
Vincent agrees to Sebastian’s plan. Gabriel has a stable enough job to support most of the rent (Vincent can spare a hundred dollars a month. That is enough), and Sebastian leans against Vincent.   
He hasn’t gained any weight. He’s lost some. He feels like a walking skeleton.   
Sebastian jumps when Vincent puts an arm around him to help steady the teen.

Why does he expect it to hurt?

 

Ciel gave a broad smile as his father agreed to Sebastian’s plan, and hugged him tightly in a rare show of affection for these last few months before pulling away. “Thank you,” he murmured, watching as his father pulled Sebastian closer to him. He noticed Sebastian’s flinch, and a frown flickered across his expression before he shook his head and changed it to a small smile.

He glanced up at his Father, sighing quietly for a moment, thinking of how much Sebastian’s child would change their lives. He knew he wasn’t going to quit school. His school had done enough to let him know that that was a terrible enough choice. Sebastian was still going to be homeschooled, which was enough. He wouldn’t quit school.

He put a hand on Sebastian’s stomach again, and a soft light shine in his eyes when he met Sebastian’s gaze. “I wonder how much things will change once this is over…” He slowly murmured, shrugging. He ran a light hand down Sebastian’s arms, feeling how thin he was, and frowning again. “Do you think you could do me a favor," he asked the other, feeling the bones in his arms and noticing how loose the clothes were on him, "Gain some weight for me. Please.”

 

"I can’t. I’ve tried, but the baby just…sucks the life out of me. It hurts. My skin is expanding. I don’t want this baby."

Vincent had somehow pieced together the puzzle pieces (people seem to forget just how intelligent he is!) so all this baby talk doesn’t bother him. What does bother him is the fact that Sebastian probably weighs less than a hundred pounds. How is that kid even standing up?   
Sebastian leans agains Vincent again, wanting so badly to just go home.

He isn’t guilty of murder. Daddy is dead.

Sebastian is about to tell Vincent to take him home when two of his four brothers step up. Michael, Uriel. The biggest dicks known to man.   
"Gaap, a word," Michael growls. Gabriel steps in front of Sebastian, but Sebastian finds it within himself to push his best brother aside to face the worst of them.   
"What do you want," he spits. For once in his life, he’s not scared.   
Gabriel and Vincent? Protecting him? What does he have to fear?

"The will. Father told us, rather than writing it down. If something were to ever happen to him, he wants you to have this."   
A large cardboard box. What’s with this family?   
Gabriel carries the box to Vincent’s car, and somehow fits it in the backseat. Ciel gets to sit in Sebastian’s lap.   
-   
When they get back home, Sebastian doesn’t go to Ciel’s place.   
He can feel his house, that He’ll across the street, pulling at his DNA.

"I forgot something," he murmurs too softly for Ciel to hear, and he takes off running (surprisingly fast) to his house. Vincent struggles to carry the surprisingly large box into his home. 

 

Ciel was already halfway to the front door when he he thought he heard Sebastian saying something, and he turned around, widening his eyes when he saw him running in the direction of his old house. He was running surprisingly fast, with how thin he was. 

He narrowed his eyes, glancing at his father though the front door and motioning for him to close it before he sighed. He could either go after Sebastian, or wait for him to come back. Either way, it seemed like it would end up the same. Sebastian would most likely see something in his house that triggered him, and something would happen. If he stayed at the house and waited, Sebastian might just walk past him and ignore him. If he went with him, he would hold in his reaction.

He paused, seeing that Sebastian was already almost at his old house, and ran a hand over his face, letting out a soft groan. He ran after the other, following him as quickly as he could. He was slower, and by the time he even made t to the house, he was panting and dizzy. He shook his head, trying to clear it as he walked inside, trying to find Sebastian. He’d never been inside the house before.

 

Everything about the house is meant to fuck with your head. Doors lead to nowhere, and no matter how many times Ciel ran up a flight of stairs, it seems like he’s always on the same level.  He sees Sebastian round a corner, and when he chases after him, his new boyfriend is gone.   
Eventually, after some length of time, Sebastian puts a hand on Ciel’s shoulder.

"I got what I needed. Follow me. Hold on."

He grabs Ciel’s hand and runs out of the house before anyone can see him.   
-   
Sebastian snuck out a razor (crusted with blood) and stuffed black cat (with one purple eye)  
He sits on Ciel’s couch, hiding the razor inside of the stuffed cat’s belly. There’s a little slit in the stitching, perfect to fit in the sharp little self destructive tool.

Sebastian’s pregnancy isn’t too noticeable yet. Well, if you look closely you can see it better, but it’s not…  
Sebastian hugs the cat closely, his wide (are they permanently terrified?) eyes watching TV.   
-

That night, Ciel hears Sebastian get out of bed. He fumbles for the bathroom, and the door locks behind him. Sebastian is fairly graceful, and he should really know how to get to the bathroom.

The lights stay on and the door stays locked for a sold twenty minutes. Sebastian took the stuffed cat with him to the bathroom. His fingertips are stained red.  
He slides back into bed, though. His eyes close, and he cuddles up next to Ciel.

 

Ciel was always a light sleeper. He was easily woken up by the sound of his mattress creaking when Sebastian was moving around more than usual. For some reason, he didn’t open his eyes all the way-it might have been he was too tired, he didn’t know-and he watched as Sebasitan hugged the cat close to him before walking to the bathroom in his room. He closed his eyes as he heard the door lock, the sound not really bothering him, and shifted onto his side to get more comfortable. He was tempted to move into Sebasitan’s spot since it was warm, but decided not to. 

He glanced atthe clock, letting out a silent groan as he read how early it was in the morning. He closed his eyes again, letting himself fall back asleep. He was awoken again when Sebastian got back into the bed, and he glanced at the clock, noticing how much time had passed. He glanced back over at Sebastian, feeling him move next to him, and he sleepily presses against the other, wanting his heat.

-

Ciel woke up early the next morning, before Sebastian woke up. He watched the other for a moment, noticing how peaceful he was, with the blankets all the way to his shoulders, and for once, a sort of peaceful expression on his face. He moved over and gently kissed his forehead, wishing he could see Sebastian truly look at peace while with him. He sighed, sitting up and stretching, wondering what Sebasitan’s brother would say about owning a cat. He always knew that Sebastian loved them, and he might be able to bear having one around. He got up, wishing he knew what his phone number was so he could call him. 

He just wanted to do something nice for the other, to see him smile. He missed seeing his smile, even if it was fake.

 

Vincent looked like he hadn’t slept that night. He is drinking a fresh cup of coffee, hunched over a newspaper. His pen is working quickly, crossing out names and dates and faces.   
There are at least twenty other news articles pinned to the walls of the dining room, and Ciel’s father gets up to walk to a short article. He scratches out a few words and then sits back down.

He mumbles a good morning to Ciel.

When Vincent gets like this- utterly obsessed with one topic- it’s usual for him to go days without sleep. He usually stays in his office during these times, when his genius mind is working at full capacity and there is no hope for rest.   
When Ciel is quietly making breakfast, that’s when he hears it.

"Holy shit," Vincent mumbles, running a hand through his hair.   
"I figured it out. The entire- Shit, Ciel, our problems don’t end with Samuel. There’s-There’s an entire network of people like him. See, see, this incident in 1962- Amanda Wheeler kills her abusive father, and presents evidence of her abuse in court. She’s jailed, though, for murder. And again in 1986, Greg Young, killed by his parents at the age of sixteen. The autopsy said rape and drug abuse. Look, look," he holds up various pictures, and each one is of a satanic cross burned into skin.

"We have to check Sebastian for this. If he’s got this-this brand- that means that we have a shit load of trouble coming our way."

Sebastian wakes up a few minutes after Vincent’s spiel.   
He’s wearing Vincent’s sweater, loving the way it covers up his abdomen and his wrists and the tops of his thighs. It’s so big on Sebastian that it looks like he isn’t wearing any pants!   
"Good morning," he yawns, leaning on the table and taking a long sip from Vincent’s coffee.

 

Ciel immediately widened his eyes as he heard what his father said, knowing that it had to be true. His father was never one to be wrong, and he never told him anything unless he was absolutely sure of it himself. Besides, he always checked things for the tiniest details to make sure they were correct and lined up.

He carefully looked at the pictures of the corpses that were burned into the skin of the individuals, memorizing it before nodding quickly and swallowing his mouthful of cereal. “Alright. I might be able to check his torso," he stated, thinking of that night. 

He went quiet as Sebastian entered the room, and glanced at the various news articles that were pinned over the walls. He wasn’t sure if Sebastian would know what it was about or not. He hadn’t known what his father was working on when he saw them. “Morning," he said, eating another spoonful of cereal and swallowing before asking, “Hey, Sebastian, do you think your brother will let you get a cat? I’d be willing to put up with one.” He glanced at him, before going back to his cereal. 

 

Sebastian sits on the table, swinging his legs and hoping to gain Vincent’s affections.   
"Hm, Gabriel doesn’t seem to be fond of any sort of animal. But I’m sure he wouldn’t mind."   
He looks at Vincent, and then the newspaper in front of him.  That date is 1982. Why is he reading something from that year?   
Sebastian’s eyes focus on the pictures of the cross and then he figures it out.   
A loud slap is heard, and then Sebastian yelling, “I told you to leave it alone, Vincent! Daddy is dead and I’m not going to jail, that’s all that matters!”   
He backhands Vincent so hard the man nearly falls out of his chair, and Sebastian storms over to rip the pinned up news papers on the wall.   
"What part of leave it alone do you not fucking understand," he screams, the bits of newspaper clutched tightly in his hands. What brought on this rage? Everyone has a breaking point, and Vincent meddling in affairs that  _are none of his business_ have thrown Sebastian over the edge. Vincent has no idea what he's gotten himself in to ! Researching this type of shit is way too dangerous, even for Vincent Phantomhive. 

 

"God damnit, Vincent, you’re fucking disgusting. I don’t want to see your god damn faggot ugly face ever again!"

  
His voice is so loud, so powerful. Just for a quick second, Ciel hears Samuel in Sebastian’s rage. Samuel's voice never seemed to raise or lower, however. But even as Sebastian lets out a shriek of frustration, Samuel's spirit seems to be intertwined with Sebastian's wrath.   
Sebastian makes a low growling sound and storms back down the hallway.   
The door to Ciel’s room slams shut, so hard that the door nearly flies off it’s hinges.   
Sebastian crawls back underneath the bed.   
He told Vincent to leave it alone. He told Vincent to just…not look into it. At all. Daddy is dead. Daddy is dead. Daddy can’t hurt them, and Sebastian isn’t going to be jailed. That’s all that fucking matters!

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

Ciel’s eyes immeidately narrowed as he heard the harsh sound of the slap echo around the room. His hands immediately balled into tight fists, and he shook his head, trying to control himself. He was protective over his family, and his father was the only one he had left. His anger was the only reason he didn’t cower when Sebastian started screeching, and he heard Samuel in Sebastian’s voice. 

He glared at his retreating form, only wincing at the harsh sound of his door slamming shut before walking over to his father, checking to see if he was alright. A bright red handprint was on his face, and he shook his head, every instinct in him telling him to go do something to Sebastian to make him see that he couldn’t simply hurt him like that. 

He tried to fight it, but he couldn’t, and he stalked upstairs, opening his bedroom door and quietly shutting it behind him. Sebastian wanted his father’s affection, but he wasn’t going to get any like that.

"You want me to love you, yet you go around slapping my father because he was trying to figure out more about you?" He hissed, glaring at the space under his bed. "You won’t tell us anything. I don’t know anything. He just wanted to learn something. And if you think slapping him and insulting him like that is going to make either of us love you, you’re wrong." He leaned against his door, glad that it was the only exit from the room. 

"Now stop hiding and acting like a child all the time and come out from under the bed."

 

Sebastian was shaking in rage.   
Rage, rage, bright red creeping into the edges of his vision.

"You’ll get killed," he says bitterly, sitting up. He wants to cry now.  
"You can’t learn about me. I know…I know what men like my Father do to people who stick their noses in too deep. My mother- she was a police officer. One of my brothers, Michael, went to her when Daddy started the raping. My sweet mother investigated, and she got pulled in. Abuse, torture, whatever. It all happened to her. And then, by some miracle, I was born. I don’t want you two to have to go through that! I’m trying to keep you…you safe from…them."

He gently crawls out of bed, toying with his shirt sleeves.   
He knows it was childish, and he knows that hitting does not solve problems.   
"I’m sorry for over reacting," Sebastian says, shifting from foot to foot. "I just can’t take any risks. Especially now that…," he trails off, placing a hand on his belly, "I’ll tell you what you need to know. Just don’t…snoop around my house or any house for that matter."

 

Ciel warily listened to Sebastian, crossing his arms over his chest as he kept glaring at the underside of the bed. He was surprised at hearing what had happened to Sebastian’s mother, but he didn’t show it. He kept glaring until he saw Sebastian crawl out from underneath the bed, and he sighed, his gaze softening slightly as he watched him play with his shirt sleeves and heard his apology.

"I’ll forgive you this time, since it’s the first time. I’m protective around my father. He’s the only one I have left." He stated, walking up to Sebastian and hugging him. He placed a hand on Sebastian’s stomach, and closed his eyes for a few moments, forcing himself to calm down. "Don’t get too stressed. It’ll be too much for the child." He warned, then backed away a step. "I want to know if you have that cross on you. If you’ve been marked by it." He stated, his tone serious, yet his body language open. ‘We want to know. What’s the point of telling us that it’s over when it’s not? If we’re going to get dragged into it, why not warn us ahead of time?" He questioned, trying to get Sebastian to think. 

A sudden idea hit him, and he took a step back. “Is this why you didn’t want me to go with you with your brother? Is it why you wanted to leave me?” He shook his head, not able to believe it. “I’m not letting you leave.”

 

Sebastian nods in agreement, though he is not sure what he is nodding to.   
He wiggles off his athletic shorts, and blushes deeply.   
"I-It’s on my thigh, see," he says softly, sitting on his bed and spreading his legs.   
And there it is.   
A satanic cross, burned into his skin, right beside the name ‘Gaap’

"Don’t look for too long, it’s embarrassing," Sebastian stutters, and after a brief moment he closes his legs. He shimmies his shorts back on, sniffling.   
He wipes his eyes a few times, and looks away. It’s humiliating.   
"I-I’m going to make your father breakfast. He probably hasn’t eaten."

"And, for the record," he whispers, "that is the reason I didn’t want you to come. I was afraid you were going to become like me."   
-   
Vincent and Sebastian kiss and make up, Sebastian kissing Vincent’s cheek and apologizing. Vincent just laughs and pets Sebastian’s hair (and says, “Dear Lord, you’re beautiful.”)

Sebastian ends up making Vincent a bacon and egg breakfast, wearing Vincent’s frilly apron.   
He looks at Ciel and smiles, and grabs Ciel’s shoulders and kisses him right on the mouth.   
"Thank you, Ciel, for letting me stay with you. I feel bad, because there’s nothing I can do to pay you back.

 

Ciel was still thinking about the cross on Sebastian’s thigh as his father’s breakfast was made, and he was only more determined to go with Sebastian. It didn’t matter if he was tortured or humiliated. He was confident that his pride couldn’t be broken. He couldn’t become like Sebastian. He watched as Sebastian moved around the kitchen, his gaze thoughtful, before following him out as the food was taken to his father.

He watched them, then sat on the couch, blushing deeply as he was kissed. He kissed him back and nodded, putting his arms around Sebastian’s waist and pulling him down to sit in his lap. “I’m not leaving you to deal with this alone. Like it or not, you’re part of what I consider my family, and I don’t let people that close go too easily.” He stated, nuzzling into the other. “You can pay me back by not shoving a kitten in my face when we get one.” He said, smiling. 

He sighed, then looked up at the other, asking, “Do you trust me? I did promise that nothing will happen to you. Anyone who would try to hurt you would have to go through me first.”

 

Vincent inhaled his breakfast, as if he hadn’t eaten in days. Sebastian stays perfectly still in Ciel’s lap, heaving been trained with beatings to know how to properly behave.

Sebastian plays with his fingers, tracing scars on his legs.   
"I trust you," Sebastian murmurs back, looking at his pale knees.   
Despite his skinny size, Sebastian didn’t have a thigh gap. Well, normally he didn’t but being so malnourished, he does now. It looks weird on his body, like his hips are settled on uneasy stilts. Too thin. Too tall. Why did his dad have to be seven feet?   
Well, Sebastian doesn’t exactly remember his mom. She’s dead now, anyway.

"You and Vincent are the only people to show me an inch of kindness. Gabriel taught me how to read and write, and sure he legally adopted me, but…he doesn’t…love me. Not like you guys do. It’s a conditional sort of love…," Sebastian trails off, sure that Ciel doesn’t want to hear it. Sebastian frowns as he watches the morning cartoons, and asks, "Is there anything…specific you want to know? I don’t mind telling you about Samuel, you just can’t tell anyone else. I’m pretty sure Vincent isn’t paying attention, but it’s not like I mind him knowing."

 

Ciel’s hands gently moved along Sebastian’s thighs as he watched his father practically gulp down his breakfast, wondering how he could eat without looking like he was swallowing. He traced along Sebastian’s new thigh gasp, his hand trembling slightly as he listened to Sebastian. He wished he wouldn’t trail off so much, as if he was scared of speaking. He was always interested in what he had to say.

He looked up at Sebastian, hugging him tightly as he nodded to the invitation to ask questions about Samuel. He moved his hands along the scars he could feel through Sebastian’s shorts, and he looked down at them with a frown. Beneath his saddened gaze, there was still fury that he was trying to hide. He truly thought that he deserved to be dead. As well as anyone else that had hurt Sebastian. His brothers, and those members of what he assumed was a cult. They all deserved to die.

He leaned his forehead on Sebastian’s arm, gently breathing as questions floated through his mind. “Yes, there are questions that I want answered. I want to know why he burned the name Gaap into your thigh, and why he chose you to do this to, and not one of your other brothers. I also want to know how long he has been starving you.”

 

"I’m not sure why it was Gaap. It had something to do with a book Samuel kept. Apparently, I was like one of the demons, or one demon in particular. Gaap…I don’t know why I’m like that one. As for him choosing me, he says I look a lot like my mother. I don’t know how Samuel thinks. I’m glad I don’t, actually."

As for starving him…Starving. Starving. What does that mean, again? Starving…Think, think.  
Sebastian stares blankly. He doesn’t know what starving is. He can’t remember.   
"U-Uhm," he murmurs. He knows that starving has something to do with eating. But was it too much or too little?

And, suddenly, it comes to him. He remembers his Latin to English dictionary and runs off to Ciel’s room. He comes out holding a small red beaten book, flipping the pages furiously.

"Oh, I get it," he mumbles, setting the book on the coffee table.

"All my life, basically. Since I was five. Samuel made me…strip for food and more often than not I refused to give in to their demands."

 

Ciel gave a slow nod as he listened to Sebastian’s replies, thinking of foods that he could eat, and how much he should eat. If he really only ate a little, then he should start small. And since most food was too intense, the taste shouldn’t be that strong. He thought for a moment, then gave a soft smile as he decided on a fruit. 

He listened to Sebastian’s short explanation of the cult, and nodded, hugging him tightly after a moment. He then smiled as he heard Sebastian’s stomach growl, and gently moved him out of his lap as his father handed him the coffee. “How about an apple? That taste won’t be too strong for you.  And if you can finish that, I’ll make you something else.” He said, walking to the kitchen and grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl. He got out a cutting board, and cut it into slices, and put them on a plate.

He walked back down to the living room, and handed the plate to Sebastian, his gaze firm. “I want to see you eat at least half of this.” He stated, kissing his cheek. “And try to keep it down.” He sat down beside him, determined to watch him eat and make sure he ate it

 

Sebastian wiggles happily as he’s given a plate of food. Fresh! Fresh food for a fresh new start!   
He greedily takes it from Ciel’s hands, and eats all four slices in maybe thirty seconds.

But then he remembers what happens if you eat fast when you haven’t eaten in a long time, and Sebastian covers his mouth and seals his lips shut as he vomits.   
He stumbles to the bathroom, where he pukes up stomach acid and apple bits.

"Morning sickness," he explains as he walks out, rubbing his belly.

Didn’t Ciel say that if you ate half he’d make you more? You didn’t eat half, did you? And you couldn’t even keep it in your stomach?

Sebastian’s eyes fill with tears and he pleads, “Please, Ciel, I didn’t mean to puke it up the baby just did it and I’m so hungry please don’t starve me I promise I’ll do better I’ll do anything anything at all just please-”   
He cuts himself off, takes a deep breath, and remembers where he is at.

 

Ciel’s gaze saddened slightly as he watched Sebastian stumble to the bathroom, and heard the sounds coming from it easily. Was it already too much for Sebastian, or had he just eaten too fast? He picked up the plate, and immediately looked up as Sebastian came back into the room. He was relieved when he heard that it was only morning sickness, and he nodded in understanding, before widening his eyes as Sebastian began to plead. His gaze saddened further, and he shook his head, placing the plate beside him and pulling Sebastian down into his lap again. He found it easier to comfort the other when he was in his lap, and he felt it was easier to protect him.

"I’m not going to take your food away." He murmured, noticing how Sebastian had to remember where he was at. He put the plate of Apple slices back in Sebastian’s lap, and gave a soft smile. "Try to eat more. If you eat all of them, I think we have some strawberries in the fridge. Those don’t have too strong of a taste."

He leaned up and gently kissed the other, wiping his tears away with his thumbs. “I would never starve you. I would never dare to do such a thing. I would rather starve myself before seeing you starve again.” He protectively wrapped his arms around him, and rubbed soothing circles into his belly.

 

"Strawberries," he murmurs thoughtfully. Strawberries….Strawberries. What do strawberries look like? Are they red? Are they blue? Or purple? Or-Or?

Sebastian carefully bites into the apple. Crisp, clean, taste.   
Apple.   
It tastes really good! It tastes really really good! Sebastian’s lips split into a smile and he’s practically vibrating with happiness. “It tastes really nice, thank you Ciel,” he mumbles behind a mouthful. He takes a sip of the weak coffee Vincent made for him, and his stomach is as happy as Sebastian is.   
Vincent has passed out, legs crossed in a sitting position. He’s probably exhausted.

Sebastian gives a kiss to Vincent’s cheek and eats the last flew slices of apple.   
"Can you get those strawberries now," Sebastian asks rather eagerly, forgetting his manners and wiggling in Ciel’s lap. He turns and kisses Ciel softly, licking his lips for a quick second and jumping off of Ciel’s lap.   
He lays his head in Vincent’s lap, laying on his back and rubbing his stomach.

His body is extremely happy with him currently. And he is actually being fed. Fresh, juicy fruit.

He closes his eyes, remembering the darkness of his room. He remembers pulling on the chain attached to his ankle desperately, he remembers crying and screaming.   
He stopped calling Samuel ‘daddy’ when he was six. When he realized that it wasn’t just a one-time-incident, and the raping and the beating and dinnerless nights were a regular event.   
He couldn’t stand on his own within three months.


	11. Chapter 11

Ciel’s eyes brighten as he sees how happy Sebastian is with the apple, and he nods, nuzzling into him with a laugh as he saw how Sebastian was practically glowing in happiness. It was such a sad thing, to be happy just by having an apple, but Sebastian’s happiness was contagious, and he couldn’t help how he was smiling. He laughed as he watched the other eat the rest of it, and he nods at the question for the strawberries.

His eyes widened slightly when Sebastian wiggled in his lap, and he smiles as he is kissed, before gasping slightly as his lips were licked. He waits until Sebastian moves off of him before walking to the kitchen with Sebastian’s plate and setting it on the counter. He walked to the fridge, getting out the strawberries, and cut up half the container so they didn’t have tops on them. He next got down a small sauce bowl, and filled it with sugar, sure that Sebastian hadn’t had much chance to have sweets before.

He walked back into the living room, and gave the plate to Sebastian after gesturing for him to sit up. He sat beside him, murmuring, “They taste good with the sugar. I’m sure you’d like it and that you haven’t had many sweets. It’s the least I can do for you.”

 

Sebastian sits up when Ciel hands him his strawberries.

"Sugar," he asks curiously, licking the outside of the fruit. His tongue explodes and his eyes widen. Sweet. This is what a sweet tastes like.   
"What does sweet mean," Sebastian asks, happily munching on his snack.

When he’s all done, Sebastian puts the plate aside. His stomach is getting full. He doesn’t want to eat too much.   
Sebastian settles himself in Vincent’s lap, laying his head against the man’s chest and pulling a blanket up to his shoulders.   
Vincent must be at least half awake, because his arm loosely wraps around Sebastian’s hips.   
The baby is happy. Sebastian’s stomach is happy.

He looks at Ciel and murmurs, “Can you tell me a story?”

 

Ciel smiled and shook his head as he was asked what sweet meant, and he murmured the best way he could explain it, “It’s what you’re tasting now. That’s sweet. I don’t know how to define it any better.” He stayed quiet as the other ate, and watched him snuggle up to his father, hating the fact that his own heart panged at the sight. Sebastian only cuddled up to him at night. What would happen if he no longer pulled him to his lap? 

He shook his head to get rid of the thoughts, and gave a soft laugh as he was asked to tell a story. “I’m afraid I don’t know very many happy stories.” He murmured, giving a soft laugh. His story would most likely end up with a sad ending, but he’d try to make it happy.

He thought for a few moments, then came up with a story.

"In a land far away, there lived a girl named Little Red Riding Hood. She was nicknamed that because of a red cloak and hood that her grandmother made for her that fit her perfectly. One day, her grandmother fell sick, and her mother asked her to bring her a lunch in a basket. She eagerly took the basket and skipped out of the house and down the path through the woods. While in the woods, she looked around, and her gaze caught sight of a wolf that was watching her from behind a tree. She wasn’t scared of him, it was quite the opposite. She fell in love with him at first sight. But, she knew such a love was forbidden. So, she didn’t say anything and kept on her way. Once she got to her grandmother’s, she went in, and told the elderly woman her problem. The woman suggested letting the wolf try some of the food that was in the basket, and she took some, and walked back down the path, setting it by the tree that he had been at before. It wasn’t long before he came and ate it. But, nothing happened. The next day, she was asked to take her grandmother another lunch, and she did, before having an idea of making something herself that might work on the spell that appeared to be on the wolf. She spent the afternoon picking herbs and flowers, and all night baking into bread. She fell into bed, exhausted. When she woke up, her mother was making so much noise, and when she went down, she found that her loaf of bread had been destroyed, after her mother had eaten some. "You can’t bake things! It’s not your job!" Her mother cried, before suddenly putting a hand to her mouth. Little Red Riding Hood feared she might have accidentally poisoned her. She ran out of the house with her hood in tow, and hastily escaped to her grandmothers house. The wolf watched, intrigued as to why she seemed to be so scared and panicked. Little Red Riding Hood explained herself to her Grandmother, who suddenly looked very determined. She told her to wait a few minutes, and slowly got up and walked to her kitchen, making Little Red Riding Hood a special loaf of bread. She took it gratefully, and kissed her grandmother on the cheek in thanks, before skipping out, and down to the woods. She gave the wolf the bread, and he was transformed back into a man, while her mother had the spell reversed on her, and now she was the wolf, and she was filled with such a rage, that she killed a nearby child. Luckily, a huntsman saw, and chopped her up. And Little Red Riding Hood was able to live with her love, the Wolf."

He smiled as he murmured the ending, holding Sebastian’s hand loosely through the covers, and yawned. But, he wouldn’t let himself sleep. He walked up to his bedroom once he was sure that Sebastian was asleep, and looked under his pillow, finding his gun and silencer. His father had taught him how to use it. He walked into the basement of their house, which was amock target range, and placed the silencer on his gun, before loading it and aiming it. He shot a couple of times, wincing when he missed the middle of the target half the time. He needed practice.

 

Of course Sebastian falls asleep in the middle of Ciel's story. Sebastian is always fucking exhausted these days.

Vincent woke up first. Sebastian was snoring lightly, still fast asleep on Vincent’s chest. He was woken with little kisses, leading from his pale jaw to his cheek to his lips again.   
Sebastian whines quietly, not wanting to have been woken. Granted, it was a nice waking up, but still. He’s so tired lately. It can’t be good.

Sebastian sits up, rolling his hips lightly. Ciel means a lot to him. Sex isn’t something Sebastian is constantly thinking about with Ciel. Like…his boyfriend is a different. Because, really, Ciel is much different than any suitor Sebastian has had before.   
“Sebastian, no, stop.”   
Vincent’s voice breaks Sebastian’s thoughts, and he tilts his head. Vincent’s hands are gripping Sebastian’s pelvis rather tightly.   
“We can’t…Do whatever this is. You’re with Ciel. You’re Ciel’s boyfriend, and you have to act like one now.”   
Sebastian bites his lip, to keep himself from crying. God forbid Ciel think he’s weak.   
“B-But,” he begins, with those beautiful sad eyes, “I-I wanna- be you with and Ciel! I don’t want rules, or ‘proper’ acting…I just want to be happy, V-Vincent.”   
Vincent sighs softly, runs a hand through Sebastian’s hair, and murmurs, "I know, baby, but we need to have a talk."   
-   
Sebastian doesn’t want to go into the basement. He’s afraid of basements. For a good reason, but still.   
So he waits outside of the door, until the gunshots cease. He peeks his head into the room, calling softly, “Ciel? Are you done in there?”  
He wiggles uncomfortable. Ever since Vincent temporarily called off their little arrangement, Sebastian feels different. He wants both Phantomhive men (boys?)   
He doesn’t feel complete without them. Both of them. He wants to wake up with a kiss from Ciel, and he wants Vincent to carry him on his shoulders so he can put the star on the Christmas tree. Why can’t he have both?

 

Ciel looked behind him at the door to the basement as he heard Sebastian’s voice, and he quickly put the pistol in a pocket inside of his jacket he had put on. It was a pocket specifically made to hold the gun and be easy to take out, and that he’d had custom made. He never did wear the jacket unless he was feeling threatened and felt like he needed the gun.

He walked out of the basement, satisfied with his work of the targets, and leaned up, gently kissing Sebastian on the lips. “Hopefully I didn’t wake you. I tried to be as quiet as I could.” He murmured, shaking his head. Though, he quickly noticed how nervous Sebastian looked, and he tilted his head to the side, grabbing his hands and holding them tightly. “What’s wrong? You seem nervous.” 

He led him away from the basement, in case that was the reason for his nervousness. He had no idea what he was going to be asked. His expression grew softer when Sebastian didn’t seem any less nervous, and he frowned, squeezing his hands. “What do you want to tell me or ask me? You can ask me anything.”

 

"Uhm," Sebastian murmurs, "I-I uh…"   
He stutters, looking down at the floor. How was he supposed to explain what he wanted.   
"Your father and I were talking," he begins, "And he thinks it’s best if I’m only your boyfriend."

If that’s what Vincent wants, who is Sebastian to refuse it? Vincent probably knows better, but Sebastian knows what his heart wants and it’s waking up being smushed between Vincent and Ciel. But if this is truly what’s best for them…  
Sebastian looks away so Ciel doesn’t have to see his watering eyes, and after he takes a minute to control himself, he holds Ciel’s hand tightly.

"So, I guess you don’t have to be jealous anymore. I’m not allowed to be with him."

Vincent was so nice, though. He gave Sebastian his clothing, he gave Sebastian his food and his money and now living space in his house. And he has never asked for anything on return. Never has a ‘You owe me this’ left Vincent’s lips.

Does Sebastian really love Vincent? Does he really love Ciel? He doesn’t know. Does he only love them because of their kindness?  
No, Sebastian has loved them since the day they met, when Sebastian had stumbled across the street, had showed Vincent his concave stomach, and he had met Ciel.

Sebastian sniffles, feeling unholy amounts of snot starting in his nose. He’ll have to ask Vincent for some Vitamin C.

 

Ciel briefly looked confused at the first thing that Sebastian said, and he tilted his head to the side, but he got what he want when he said that he wasn’t allowed to be with his father anymore. He was relieved, and he gave a soft nod, gently kissing Sebastian's  cheek.

"Thank you for telling me this. I’m relieved. He can still act like a father, but it just means that any sexual actions are reserved for me. I’m fine with experimental flirting, but nothing beyond that. Not any kisses to the lips." He was tired of always feeling jealous, of feeling like he was competing with his father for Sebastian’s love. Sebastian was more openly affectionate around his father, than him, and it frustrated him. He pulled Sebastian into a gentle hug, and closed his eyes. "I think it’s what’s best. Most people only live in a relationship where there is only the person they are dating to satisfy them." 

He opened his eyes, glancing over the other. “I’m just tired of feeling like I’m competing with my own father for your affection. I’m always frustrated, because you are more open with your love with him. But, this is for the best.” He kept looking away.

 

This is for the best, they kept saying. This is for the best. Is it truly best that Sebastian forever be riddled with heartache? Is that truly what is completely best?

What is he going to do? Most of his clothing is technically Vincent’s, and his favorite morning activity is to sit on the table and drink Vincent’s coffee, and then he likes to cuddle with Ciel on the couch. He can manage having both!   
And his entire life has always been doing things for someone else. He had given Samuel everything, and what he wasn’t willing to give was taken by force. Anything to survive.

Sebastian can’t find himself hugging Ciel back, just staring at the wall behind him and trying not to cry anymore.   
This is for the best, Ciel says again. Best. Best. Best.   
Best.

Best |best| superlative of good

of most excellent, effective, or desirable type or quality: the best pitcher in the league| how to obtain the best results from your machine| her best black suit

Is this really, truly, the best?

Sebastian gives Ciel a light kiss on the cheek, and a quiet, “I’m going to take a walk.”   
-   
It’s cold outside, but the only sweatshirt Sebastian owns is Vincent’s and Ciel’s clothes are too small. He walks by his old house, wearing one of the few shirts he actually owns. It’s a plain black tee shirt, paired with a pair of acid washed skinny jeans. Cold is the only thing Sebastian can register in his mind. Maybe if he gets cold enough, the part of his brain that loves Vincent will freeze to death.

Maybe.

Sebastian jumps the fence to his backyard, and looks at the big oak tree there. He plops down under the tree and closes his eyes. He remembers burying a cat around here somewhere. And he remembers sleeping under this tree a few times. And he remembers Samuel sitting beside him when he was ten, and pet his hair and said, “I love you,” a million times.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Ciel couldn’t help but to feel like he had done something wrong when Sebastian didn’t hug him back. The other seemed to be so sad, and he didn’t know why. Was it because of what he said? But he was tired of feeling like he was competing with his own father for Sebastian’s affection and love. Hell, he wasn’t even sure that Sebastian truly loved him. What if the other loved his father more and would rather be with him? He resisted the urge to groan, and instead smiled at the light kiss on his cheek, nodding when Sebastian told him that he was going for a walk.

He walked back into the basement, grabbing his gun, and took out his frustration on the targets. He didn’t care that he was wasting bullets. Every shot fired relieved him a little. If he gave into Sebastian and let him be with them both, he would always feel like a lesser of the two. If it was just him and Sebastian, then he could be sure that the other loved him. But was he just being selfish? He wanted Sebastian to be happy, but would he go so far to make himself unhappy? Would he give up his own happiness? Yes, he would go so far as to risk getting hurt and possibly killed by the cult that had harmed Sebastian, but he wasn’t sure he would go so far as to risk his own happiness in the love aspect. He was confused, not sure what to do. 

A part of him was growing to hate his father, hate him for letting Sebastian fall in love with him and not just immediately stop it when he saw it happening. He eventually reloaded the gun a last time, then put it inside of his coat. He walked out of the basement, then sighed, walking through the living room. A brief glare was sent to his father, along with the mutter, “Why didn’t you stop him from falling for you?” He then walked to his room, closing the door behind him. Sebastian couldn’t be with them both. One person would always be loved more, and he was afraid that that was his father. He laid on his bed, curling into a small ball. He might give in, just to make Sebastian happy. Wasn’t that what he always wanted? Sebastian deserved happiness. If this was what it took, then he’d do it. 

 

Sebastian only came back from his little walk when he saw Michael lurking around inside the house.

Well, he didn’t exactly…come back. He more like hopped the fence to the back yard and sat by himself.   
He didn’t mean to hurt anybody, but he can feel the anger radiating off of the house. Ciel must be…  
Sebastian distracts himself with holding out his hand for the big black dog in his doghouse.   
"Are you cold,” Sebastian asks, and the dog comes out his doghouse and puts his head in Sebastian’s lap.

Sebastian sneezes, and the dog looks up at him and tilts his head. Sebastian laughs softly and pats his big black head, scratching behind his ears. He’s never had a pet before.   
-   
Sebastian enters through the back door when it starts to get dark outside. He looks at the clock and realizes that his walk was three hours long.

“Ciel,” he asks softly, knocking on his bedroom door. Sebastian wants to shower. His toes and fingers are cold. What is he supposed to do?

He looks around, realizing that Vincent must have left sometime earlier. Maybe an emergency at work...Hopefully an emergency at work... 

 

Ciel was worried sick by the time he heard Sebastian knock on his bedroom door. He had been pacing his room for the last half hour, wondering if he had somehow caused him to leave. He nearly tripped himself when he ran for the door, stumbling slightly before catching himself and ripping it open. He immediately hugged Sebastian, trying to keep himself contained.

He peppered Sebastian’s head with kisses, then tensed and swallowed, knowing that he would regret this. He grabbed Sebastian’s hands and held them tightly, frowning at how cold he was. “I thought I had run you off. I thought you had left me…” He shook his head, looking at the ground. He didn’t want to say it. He didn’t want to have to compete with his father for Sebastian’s affection. He didn’t want to feel like Sebastian didn’t love him. His heart ached, but he forced the words out his mouth like dry sand, surprised when they sounded normal. “I changed my mind. You can be with both me and my father. You can show him whatever affection you want. Hell, if it would make you happy, you can only be with him. I never was trying to force you to be with me.” He held back any emotions he might be feeling, and looked at the ground as he let go of Sebastian’s hands. “I’m not even sure you actually love me. You could just love me because I’m his son. Or you might love me as a friend and love my father like you would a boyfriend.” He pursed his lips together and walked toward the window, keeping his back to the other. 

“Just go take a shower. I bet you want one. I’ll be fine.” He said softly, leaning in and laying his forehead against the glass. He was so unsure what to think. He was so insecure and he hated it, this weakness. But, he was truly the only one showing affection. Sebastian’s kisses weren’t anything special, just for him. He’d bet Sebastian and his father had kissed before, behind his back. Maybe even today. 

 

Sebastian didn’t know what the hell to do. He loved Vincent, yes, but he loves Ciel…He loves them both. Is that concept so hard to understand?! He wants them both! He wants to kiss Vincent's neck, and feel Ciel's hands all over his thighs. So, maybe he loves Ciel more than he does Vincent. Ciel has it all backwards, and it makes Sebastian's stomach churn. He loves everything about Ciel, he loves most things about Vincent. 

“Shower with me,” he says suddenly, walking up behind Ciel and wrapping his arms around his petite boyfriend’s middle. He tries desperately to think of something that only Ciel can have access to. He hasn't had Vincent's cock stretching him quite yet, but he hasn't touches Ciel's dick.  Sebastian presses his cold lips against Ciel's neck and murmurs, "I want to take it slow with you because I care. I love you, Ciel."  He watches the world below.

He doesn’t belong there. He belongs with Ciel, and Vincent. He belongs here.   
“You don’t have to compete. There is no competing. I love you both so much. I'm not sure why you're so insecure, but please remember that I love you. It's a different kind of love for Vincent. It doesn't mean that I don't want you, that I don't love you. There’s a difference that’s hard to explain.” He reaches up and touches Ciel’s chest.   
“In here. There’s a weird difference. I love you so much, Ciel. Just shower with me. The baby wants you to.”

He kisses behind Ciel’s ear, then detaches himself to go and get his clothes.

 

Ciel jumped slightly at Sebastian’s sudden request, and he widened his eyes, but didn’t turn around. All he did was lift his head slightly to show that he was listening. He listened as the footsteps got closer to him, and sighed when he felt Sebastian’s arms go around him, and leaned his head back, truly listening to what Sebastian was saying. 

He didn’t know if it was true what Sebastian said about sex, but he could feel himself almost melting as he heard those words leave the other’s lips. He loved him. He cared.  He turned slightly to watch Sebastian out of the corner of his eyes, and furrowed his brows as he heard that what Sebastian felt for him and his father was different. How was it different? He didn’t understand. He reached up and grabbed his hand as it went over his chest, his gaze soft as he gave a slow nod. “Alright.” He said softly, watching the other walk away. “You just don’t show your affection for me that much when you’re around my father. I’m the one pulling you down to sit in my lap. You go over to lay with him all the time. It frustrates me.” He shook his head, walking to the shower and turning it on.

 

Sebastian strips his cold clothing off, shivering as his bare skin hits the hair. Scars marked his body, some old, some new. He picks at his ribs, frowning when he can feel his bones under his fingers. He’s always been way too skinny. Maybe there was a month or two where Samuel consistently fed him.

He blushes as he quickly relieves himself and flushes.   
“I know it makes you mad,” Sebastian murmurs. He tweaks his nipples experimentally, making a face when he pinches too hard and it hurts momentarily, "But I get so flustered when I think about sitting in your lap. Or you sitting in my lap." 

There’s a deep, puffy scar in the vague outline of boney wings on Sebastian’s back, and various obscene words (slut, cocktease, whore) are engraved on his chest and stomach. Vertical scars from attempted suicide on his wrists.

Sebastian shivers and wraps his arms around himself.   
His body is ugly.

He sticks his hand in the shower, feeling it's warmth. It causes his skin to burn lightly, but it's a good burn.

“Can you wash my hair,” he asks Ciel softly, “It’s embarrassing, but I’m not sure how to accurately wash myself. The only time I was ever bathed, I was either delirious or unconscious." 

 

Ciel walked into the bathroom after Sebastian, and his eyes widened as he saw the multitude of scars lining Sebastian’s body. It was surprising, how many could fit on him. He waited for the telltale steam coming from the shower that told him that the water had heated up, and stepped forward, gently running a finger across one of the scars on Sebastian’s chest. He drew away when the other covered himself, and shook his head.

He quickly took off his own clothes, blushing before nodding at Sebastian’s question. “Yes, I’ll wash your hair.” He said gently, stepping forward into the shower and helping Sebastain to get in after. He wrapped his arms around the other, tracing various words on his chest, and the lines on his wrists, before speaking up, “You don’t have to hide your body around me. Samuel is the one that did this, and he paid for what he did. None of this is your fault. You’re still beautiful.” He kissed his cheek, smiling slightly and moving back, wetting Sebastian’s hair before grabbing the shampoo and pouring some into his hands. “Tell me if any of this gets into your eyes.” He stated, scrubbing Sebastian’s scalp now, being careful not to do it too hard.

 

Sebastian tilts his head back so Ciel can get his scalp. He is about half a foot taller than Ciel, and he doesn’t want his little boyfriend to slip trying to reach his head.

“Thank you,” he says softly, closing his eyes.

It feels so nice. Hot water beating down on his skin, inhaling steam, clearing his head for a moment.   
“I hope Samuel’s dead. I’m not sure. I shot him three times, and chopped off his head with the knife he tortured me with. I cut off all of his limbs and threw them in the woods. I cut his body into four, ate until I wasn't hungry, and buried the rest under the floorboards in my room. I think he’s dead. But you never know with him.”

Sebastian opens his eyes, looking at the roof. He still feels cold blood on his hands. Samuel didn’t have a pulse, he was far past dead. He remembers biting down on his father’s neck and ripping his veins from underneath his skin. He remembers eating mouthfuls of flesh, he remembers not being hungry anymore.

“You probably think that’s a little much,” he murmurs before moving so his curly hair can be rinsed out.

Oh, if only Ciel knew exactly what he was getting into. Sebastian had tried to kill Samuel multiple times. This is the only attempt that actually seemed to work.

 

Ciel stood up on his tiptoes to better reach a spot on Sebastian’s scalp, and tried to avoid letting his lower body touch the other as he washed his hair. He kept his motions calm and soothing, trying to relax the other as much as he could. He carefully listened to him, and sighed, hearing all that Sebastian had done to his daddy. “If you did that, then he is most definitely dead. Just the shots alone would have killed him. It’s not like he isn’t human.” He said softly, then shook his head. Samuel deserved everything that Sebastian had done to his body.

“We could always burn it, make sure he is gone for good.” He murmured, not even surprised at how easily the words came to him. The innocence that seemed to cloak him didn’t obscure his mind. His mind was a place of no innocence, and something only he controlled. 

“Samuel deserved what you did to him. Nothing can convince me otherwise. He deserved that and more. He deserves to rot in hell.” He finished scrubbing Sebasitan’s scalp, and carefully washed the soap out of it, glad when he felt how silky and smooth it was now. “The good thing is that no matter what they find now, you can’t go back to trial. You’re free of him in that aspect.” He kissed along the back of his neck, before nuzzling into it. “And I’ll protect you from the cult. I’ll be ready when they come.”

 

Samuel isn't human, Ciel says. What kind of human is capable of the horrors that Sebastian has been through?

“They’ll eat you alive.”

He hears Vincent come home, focusing his razor sharp senses. Vincent went to the liqueur store. He bought vodka, gin, and whiskey. He also stopped by McDonald’s and got-   
“Boys! I brought back dinner for whenever you’re ready!”

Sebastian opens his eyes and switches spots with Ciel, so he can be under the hot water. Sebastian washes himself, not really wanting to touch his privates because what if it gets hard, but he knows he has to be clean.

“They ate me, too.”

After he’s finished washing himself, Sebastian takes Ciel’s hand and places it on his heart.   
It beats at a slower pace than what one would consider normal. But Sebastian is alive and mostly well. 

  
“They’ll eat everything. Unless we eat them first.”


	13. Chapter 13

Ciel shook his head, not believing that they would eat him alive. At least, not without a proper fight. He hadn’t heard his father come home until he heard what he yelled up the stairs, and he placed a hand over his stomach as it growled. He was brought out of his thoughts when he heard Sebastian state that the had eaten him, and his brows furrowed in confusion. What did he mean? 

He shrugged, quickly washing his hair and rinsing it of the soap, relaxing as the hot water went down his body. He watched other, and let him take his hand, feeling his heart slowly beat under it as it was placed on Sebasitan’s chest. It was so slow, much slower than what it would be like for someone who was human. His tone got quieter, and he only grew more confused. “Eat them? What do you mean? And how did they eat you? Sebastian, answer me. Don’t leave yet.” He just knew it was going to be another time when the other didn’t answer his questions. 

“What do you mean they ate you? And that we have to eat them first?” He shook his head, quickly washing his body and rinsing it. He wrapped his arms around his waist, preventing him from leaving until his questions were answered. 

 

“Every human is born with a white soul. It is an innocent soul. Pure, great tasting, soul. My soul has turned black, and then they- that cult- ate it. I’m not like you, Ciel-”  
He cuts himself off, and the thick black Sebastian is talking about starts to roll down his cheeks.   
He’s crying, a quiet, pathetic sound.

“Samuel worshipped Satan. He tried to sacrifice me when I was innocent. When I had a white soul. But Satan didn’t want me, not like that. He-he turned my soul black, and told Samuel what to do in order to be a good servant to the Dark Lord. I’m-I’m-”   
He can’t say it. That word. That word.

“J-Just look,” he whispers, wiping his pale cheeks. He opens his mouth, and points to the twin sets of razor sharp fangs. His back teeth have become perfect for ripping out flesh.   
His eyes turn to slits, glowing unnaturally.

“How else do you think I have survived? Samuel turned me into a-a dem-”

No, don’t say it.

“A monster.”

 

Ciel was loathe to admit that the sight of what Samuel had turned Sebastian into actually scared him, and made him tremble. He clenched his hands into tight fists to stop the trembling and shook his head, leaning forward to gently kiss Sebastian on the lips. He let it linger, refusing to believe that the other didn’t have a soul anymore. Even if he was a demon, he still had a soul.

He studies Sebastian’s teeth, and reaches up a hand, very gently pressing on the end of one of Sebastian’s fangs, and hissing when it drew blood from him. His teeth were so sharp, and even his back teeth were perfect for…that….

He shuddered, shaking his head and hugging the other, runing his fingers through his hair and pressing his face to his chest. “You never deserved any of this. I wish I had gone through it, instead of you.” He looked up at him, and satisfied that he was clean, he turned the water off and got out, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his hips before grabbing another and starting to dry off Sebastian. 

“You’re not a monster. I would never think of you as a monster. Monsters are chaotic, uncontrollable, made of pure evil. But you, you’re sweet, kind, shy. You’re not scary in the slightest.” He murmured soothingly, kissing each of his fangs and eyes with a smile. “And you’re afraid that they’ll turn me into a monster. You want to protect me from that.” He smiled and shook his head, not wanting Sebastian to worry about him. “Sebastian, it’ll take a lot to break me. I’m not one to give in easily. When have you ever known me to give in completely and not be scheming of a way out of something?”

 

Sebastian laughs as Ciel kisses his eyes, because the towel is so fluffy it tickles his sides. And Sebastian is, honestly, quite ticklish.

“You’re not one for those types of things at all,” Sebastian murmurs happily. He kisses Ciel, soft and slow and sweet.   
“Does Vincent watch the news,” Sebastian asks suddenly, letting Ciel dry off his body. He doesn’t flinch when the soft towel reaches his privates, and he doesn’t say anything about it. White having physical affection with Ciel is nice, and Ciel’s blushing face is cute, Sebastian doesn’t think of sex as too important.

He dresses himself in Vincent’s god awful Christmas sweater, and his own comfy pajama shorts. Sebastian holds Ciel’s hand and nuzzles his neck as they walk down for dinner.   
-   
As it turns out, Vincent likes to watch the six o'clock news. Well, Sebastian never was around at six o'clock. He was usually passed out by now, exhausted from…life, basically.

The main story is of a high school kid ‘attacked by a wild animal’ in her home. Sebastian runs his tongue over his fangs, reminding himself to keep them out of sight when he bites into his hamburger.   
The flavor is still too greasy, too salty, but he doesn’t think about it. Food is food and the baby is happy.

The victim was covered in strange, large bites and was missing chunks of flesh and an arm. The autopsy said she wasn’t attacked; she was eaten. Sebastian reads her name at the bottom of the screen. Amber Young. Hm. Wasn’t that the girl that made fun of Sebastian on his official last day of school?

 

Ciel was famished, having emotionally worn himself out for that day. While it was hard for others to get the best of his emotions-other than when it came to the beings that he actually cared about-he could easily wear himself out. He eats his hamburger, finding that it tasted good, and watched the news with everyone else. He was slightly disheartened when he heard what happened to the girl, and he nudged Sebastian, questioning him with a glance, his eyes asking, ‘Did someone like you eat her?’ 

He looks back at the TV, studying what they showed of the girl, to get aquainted with the sight. “She went to our school…” He murmured, breaking the silence. He finished his hamburger, and wiped his hands on his napkin, going quiet again. 

He leaned his head on Sebastian’s shoulder, sighing and letting his mind go off in different directions. Yet, it always stayed on the topic of Sebastian. The other was like a child, and along with being his boyfriend, he felt an overwhelming urge to protect him. If it meant getting captured, then so be it. He was determined to last. Though, he had to think of what he would do if they did capture him. He didn’t even know what they would do. They would take his gun away, and he was almost useless at fighting with his hands. He just didn’t have the strength required for it. If that happened, he’d have to rely on his wits and cunning. Something that he was glad he had plenty of.

 

Instead of giving Ciel an answer of his questioning look, Sebastian decides to just ignore it.

He remembers how her flesh tasted, how he held a hand over her mouth to keep her quiet until she died. Her skin was warm and soft, tastes faintly of salt and lotion. Her flesh was warm, and slid down Sebastian’s throat so easily.

He thought that eating Daddy would have been enough. He thought he wouldn’t be hungry- not this soon, anyway. But Sebastian lost control. Swallowed her soul, ripped it right from her body.

Sebastian drinks Ciel’s drink, frowning at the way the bubbles hurt his throat. He quickly decides that it isn’t a nice sensation and goes back to drinking his own unsweet tea. The sweet tea is too much. Too sweet.

“It’s a shame she’s dead,” Sebastian murmurs, swallowing his last bite of burger. Eating animal meat is satisfying for his taste buds. And he’s surprisingly full.   
He waits until Ciel is done eating to clear their mess.   
He thinks about crawling into Vincent’s lap and pulling him close and telling him that Ciel thinks it’s okay if they fuck.   
But Sebastian remembers everything Ciel said, and instead puts his head in Ciel’s lap and watches the news with him.

 

Ciel glanced down at Sebastian in surprise as the other laid his head in his lap, and he smiled slightly. He took a sip of his drink, putting it down before reaching down and running his hand through Sebastian’s curls, questions going through his mind.

Was he paranoid to question the fact that there might be someone else at the school like Sebastian, watching them? Or was it Sebastian that had done it? And if so, why had he done it? He gently shook his head, trying to clear his mind. It was obvious that the other wouldn’t answer his questions now.

He kept running his fingers through Sebastian’s hair, making sure not to tug it too hard as he worked out all of the knots. It was so soft, and such a delight to feel. At least one part of him was beginning to become healthy again. His other hand stroked Sebastian’s back, and he glanced at his father, noticing how intently he was watching the TV. He seemed more into it than usual, and he wondered if Vincent was doing the same thing he was doing and trying to decide if any of it was anything from the cult. He had to give his mind a rest about it, but couldn’t. He laid his head on the back of te couch, closing his eyes and letting himself fall into a light sleep, his hands stilling on Sebastian

 

Sebastian wishes he could sleep. But if he naps anymore, he won’t sleep tonight.   
They have to go back to school tomorrow. Sebastian with his home schooling, Ciel with his regular school. Couldn’t Ciel stay home with Sebastian? Don’t they have AP courses online, too?

The rest of the news is boring stuff. Obama gave a speech about terminally ill orphan puppies, or something. The Ebola virus has people paranoid for no reason. Blah blah blah.   
Sebastian rolls onto his back and stretches his legs out. He can feel the baby wiggling around inside of him. Second, or maybe third. trimester. His pregnancy is noticeable. How did he get so big so quickly? The baby wiggles. It’s tiny. He doesn’t want an ultrasound. He doesn’t want to have to explain himself.  
Sebastian takes the hand of Ciel and places it on his tummy. The baby calms down.

He’s too small to have a baby. He’s only sixteen. Sebastian has never done anything wrong in his life. Maybe eating that girl was wrong.   
God, are you punishing me, Sebastian wonders silently. Are you punishing me for the actions of Samuel?   
He closes his eyes, afraid of crying again.   
Vincent excuses himself and retires for the night.

“Ciel,” Sebastian murmurs after two episodes of cartoons. “Ciel, wake up, I have to go potty.”   
He shimmies off the couch and into the bathroom. He didn’t want Ciel to wake up and Sebastian to be gone. Who knows how Ciel might react.

Sebastian comes back and crawls into Ciel’s lap. He kisses his younger boyfriend softly, his hands steadying on Ciel’s shoulders.   
“The baby likes you,” he murmurs, looking down at his belly.

 

Ciel groggily woke up when Sebastian murmured in his ear, and he blinked open his eyes and yawned, stretching and nodding. He was glad that Sebastian had told him that he was going to use the bathroom, otherwise, he might have woken up and freaked out, thinking that the cult had come or any other number of possible ideas. He leaned his head back again, staying awake and waiting for the other to come back, thinking again about what he would do if they came and why it had to be Sebastian who had to endure all of this. He had done nothing wrong, so why had God let him endure this? Did he suddenly not care once Sebastian was turned into a demon? Or was it that he just wasn’t watching and turned a blind eye? He didn’t know, and he knew that he would never know.

When Sebastian came back, he smiled, and blushed when the other crawled back into his lap. A warm feeling rose in his chest, and he wrapped his arms around the other, kissing him gently back. He tilted his head, wondering how Sebastian knew the baby liked him. He let go of him with one arm, and placed his hand on Sebastian’s stomach, his gaze softening. Sebastian was too young for this, but he’d help him through it. 

“How do you know he or she likes me?” He asked, giving a small laught when he felt a kick. “The child may not know that their Dad is touching him or her.” He nuzzled into Sebastian, then glanced down at his stomach. “Do you think the child knows their Dad is the one touching them?”

 

“Over the months, the baby doesn’t seem to respond when Samuel or Vincent touched,” he murmurs. “It only wiggles around when you touch my belly. So, I think it likes you.”  
He smiles and kisses Ciel’s jaw, feeling the way his hand is so warm against his skin. The pregnancy is noticeable. Sebastian’s belly is swollen quite a bit, but it would probably look less large if Sebastian gained weight.

“I think I’m gonna pop soon, though. The baby is restless and I often feel cramps. I’m not sure what they mean. But look,” he lifts up his shirt to show off his stretch marks.   
“I hope the baby is born soon. I hope it looks like me. And I hope you’re here when it does happen.”   
-   
That night, Sebastian was woken by a weird sensation. At first he thought he wet the bed. And, of course, he was ashamed.   
But then the terrible pain started, and within seconds Sebastian is screaming in agony.   
He grabs Ciel, grabs at his arms and his side and screams. He feels like his entire body is being ripped in half. He can feel blood starting to coat his legs, and when he opens his mouth to scream, nothing quite comes out.

“Ciel,” he sobs, “Ciel, wake up. Ciel it hurts so bad please wake up-"


	14. Chapter 14

Ciel immediately shot up in bed as he heard Sebastian’s screams of pain, and his eyes opened and widened as multiple chills went down his spine. He turned around, looking at him, at first thinking he was having a bad dream when he was clutched at. But, no. His eyes were open, and these didn’t sound like the screams of someone who was sleeping.

“Sebastian, what is it?” He questioned, his voice a bit panicked as he trembled. When he heard the bed, he shook his head, having a guess to what was happening. He couldn’t believe that it was happening now, of all times. Tears came to his eyes, and he gave a quick nod, squeezing Sebasitan’s hand for a moment, before saying, “I have to leave for two seconds, just two seconds, alright? I’ll be right back.” He jumped down from the bed, running as fast as he could to his bedroom door and ripping it open, not minding that it slammed into the wall. “Father!” He cried out, running to his room and opening his door in much the same way. “Father…the baby…it’s coming NOW…” he panted out, before saying it more loudly, and running back to his room. 

He stopped when he was beside Sebastian, and pulled the covers off of him, before saying gently, “Try to stay calm. It’s just the baby coming out. I need to take your pants and underwear off, alright?” He gently and quickly did as he said, impatiently waiting for his father. He didn’t know what to do. He was barely holding off panicking himself. “I’m right here, Sebastian, and Father will be here at any moment.”

 

Sebastian didn’t want to be touched. He didn’t want Ciel to see him. He didn’t want Vincent to see him.

But it was, really, much too late.

Vincent was about to call 911, when he remembered that Sebastian didn’t want any doctors seeing him. How was he going to explain this?

Sebastian screams, and he’s sobbing and his legs are trembling. He wants to cover himself up. He grabs at the blanket, making small cries of, “Don’t look, don’t look, don’t look”   
Vincent gets a few hot wet towels, some latex gloves. He’s seen this on TLC a million times when Rachel was pregnant with Ciel.

“Sebastian,” he says firmly, silencing Sebastian’s tears, “I need you to move the blanket. We have to get the baby out.”   
Sebastian looks at Ciel, and he nods. Vincent moves the blanket aside, and Sebastian grabs Ciel’s hand.

There is a lot of blood.

“Lift your legs up,” he murmurs, and Sebastian rests his ankles on Vincent’s shoulders. His body is contracting, widening. His eyes roll into the back of his head as he arches his back and pushes. But his birth canal isn’t wide enough, and Sebastian sobs as his insides are stretched.

Samuel wanted this.

“Get it out,” he pleads, “Get it out of me…”

 

Ciel felt a few silent tears going down his cheeks at seeing Sebastian sob so much, and he prevented himself from looking any lower than Sebastian’s chest. He squeezed his hand, grabbing the blanket for Sebastian to hold, murmuring, “If it helps, you can bite on that.” 

He knew that this could last for hours. He knew how long it had taken his own mother to deliver him. But, she was a woman, she was supposed to stretch. Sebastian wasn’t. Sebastian was small, too small. He might be permanently damaged. He kept trying to keep Sebastian calm, one hand squeezing his, and the other running through his hair comfortingly. “I’m not looking. I’m only looking at your face. Take deep breaths.” He knew the routine perfectly for when someone was having difficulty breathing, and he thought that that might help. “Here, breathe with me. In..Out..In..Out..Good…you’re doing good.” He was babbling, doing anything he thought might help. Perhaps it would be better if he shut up, but he couldn’t. 

He squeezed Sebastian’s hand in time with his breathing, leaning down to kiss his cheeks. “I love you. You’re doing so well. Much better than I thought you would. Are you going to keep proving me wrong?”

 

His body is on the verge of shutting down.   
Vincent was currently just waiting to see a baby. But nothing. Just Sebastian’s shuddering body.

Sebastian bites down on the blanket to muffle his screech as his stomach contracts and his insides push. More stretching. More blood coming trickling out. Vincent carefully wipes with a towel, and Sebastian’s eyes widen at feeling such a strange sensation on such a private place.   
Vincent thinks he should write all of this down, but he isn’t likely to forget this any time soon. Sebastian Michaelis, sixteen year old boy, giving birth.   
 

The minutes merge into hours without anyone noticing. Sebastian could barely stay awake, staring up the the ceiling and giving out small cries of pain. His body is expanding, struggling to let the baby pass.

   
Nine hours later, and Vincent smiles warily, “I see a head!”   
Sebastian is utterly exhausted. His body, he can’t support this anymore. He can’t, he can’t, he can’t.   
But then Vincent examines he sees a head, or a top of one, and Sebastian cries with relief. He’s almost there.

“Come on, baby, this is the home stretch,” Vincent says, and gets himself ready. Changes out his gloves. Sebastian points to the water, and greedily gulps down whatever Ciel will give him.

Another ten minutes later, and they head the tiny cries of a baby. Sebastian is sobbing uncontrollably, mostly out of joy. But the shoulders of his tiny offspring are stretching him to his limit. It hurts so bad.  
He gives one final push, and the baby comes sliding out.   
“It’s a girl,” Vincent murmurs, and beckons Ciel over to cut the cord.

 

Ciel was past the point of crying with sympathy by now. He was frustrated, and about ready to scream. He wanted this over, he wanted Sebastian to be able to sleep, he wanted many things-some of which he knew he shouldn’t want.

He shook his head, squeezing Sebastian’s hand, murmuring encouragements that he thought were working. He gave Sebastian water when he asked for it, then put the large glass back onto the bedside table.

“You’re almost there. Just a little more. I know you can do it.” He encouraged the other, smiling when he heard the cries of the baby. When his Father asked him to come over to cut the cord, he readily did so, cutting it calmly. He handed his father a towel, letting him dry off the baby, before handing her to Sebastian. “What are you going to name her?” He asked, smiling.

 

Vincent dried her and wrapped her up in a yellow towel.   
He set the baby in Sebastian’s arms, and Sebastian smiles sleepily.   
She isn’t crying anymore, her eyes are open and she’s grabbing at Sebastian’s face.

He laughs softly, and peels the collar of his sweater down. Over the months he has grown a (small) pair of breasts. It was just enough to feed his baby, which was also very small. Not small enough to need a hospital, but small.

She suckles, making those tiny baby sounds. Sebastian smiles again, then looks up at Ciel and murmurs, “Chastity.”

Vincent looks at Chastity’s face, her eyes. Trying to figure out the other parent. When he sees ice blue eyes and Samuel’s nose, it hits him.   
This baby really shouldn’t be alive, but Vincent doesn’t really want to care too much. She’s part of the family, now.   
“That’s a wonderful name,” Vincent murmurs.

With Sebastian’s breasts, he looks like a girl. If they take him to the hospital, they can probably get a birth certificate for Chastity.

 

Ciel smiled, gently running a hand across Chastity’s small arm, feelig how soft her skin is already. It was a beautiful name, and he thought it fit her perfectly. He looked over her, seeing the similarities to both of her parents. He wondered if she was part demon, or if Sebastian had fully been turned before he was impregnated. “She’s beautiful.” He murmured, kissing Sebastian’s forehead and walking around the bed, climbing up onto it and sighing as he got as close as he dared to the other.

He watched her suckle, smiling and laughing out of relief. He couldn’t help it, after being so tense and worried for so long. He needed some way to let the stress out. “You’re amazing. You were able to do it. God, I love you.” He said, shaking his head in wonder. “You’re absolutely amazing.”

He went quiet for a few minutes, feeling the weight of everyone’s exhaustion. “We can probably go to the hospital, if you want, to get her a birth certificate. You can even say that I’m the Dad.” He gently kisses the other, feeling his own exhaustion way down on him. But, he wouldn’t sleep until Sebastian did. He was determined not to.

 

Sebastian closes his eyes, damn near passing out. But the constant sucking on his left breast kept him awake. Chastity had her fill, and Sebastian opens his eyes.   
“Do you want to hold her,” he asks Ciel softly. He’s not afraid of Ciel hurting Chastity. He can’t be. Vincent and Ciel have been nothing but kind. He can trust them with his little one.   
Chastity makes a baby sound, closing her eyes. Is she going to sleep, too?   
“I love you,” Sebastian murmurs sleepily to Ciel, pressing their lips together for a quick moment.   
“I couldn’t have done with without you two…I saw my life flash before my eyes more than once, to be honest. But the thought of making you lose me kept me pretty stable. I’m glad that you like her, and you don’t want to throw her in a dumpster or something because of her shitty father/grandfather.”

Vincent makes himself useful by getting Ciel’s crib from the attic and setting it up beside Ciel’s bed. He will need to change these sheets. There is a lot of blood on them. But maybe when his son and Sebastian wake up.

The crib is assembled in no time, and Vincent pushes Sebastian’s bangs from his face and kisses his forehead.   
“The crib is ready whenever you need it. Is there anything I can get you?”   
Sebastian moves at the last second, so Vincent has to kiss his lips. A small blush spreads across Sebastian’s face and he murmurs, “No, thank you…”   
Chastity is asleep by now. Sebastian squeezes one of his boobs in curiosity, and he watches a little bit of milk trickle out. Weird. He never expected to grow these. He vaguely wonders if he needs to get a bra or whatever, but the thought vanishes as Sebastian realizes how tired he is. Sleep grabs him from behind, and Sebastian is forced into the black submission. 

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

Ciel smiled as he took Chastity from Sebastian’s arms, gently holding onto her and rocking her as she yawned and curled up. Nothing could make him harm her. She looked more like Sebastian than her real father. He didn’t look up as he heard his father getting the crib, and only looked up when Sebastian kissed him. “I could never harm her. She is ours.” He was just worried about who Sebastian would say the dad was on the birth certificate.

He looked up just in time to see Sebastian tilt his headbup so his father kissed his lips, ans he struggled not to show that it bothered him. It was just an infatuation, there was a chance it could fade. But he knew it wouldn’t. Sebastian wasn’t like that. He wanted him to choose just one. But, he didn’t want to hurt him. He kept rocking Chastity, and let Sebastian snuggle into him after he put his shorts on. “You can go to sleep. I’ll put her in the crib in a little while.” He murmured, his tone gentle.

 

Sebastian fell asleep about thirty seconds later, half naked and his own blood (amongst other things) drying on the sheets he sleeps on.   
-   
Morning comes very quickly. Or, Sebastian’s perception of morning. He has no idea what time he fell asleep, but when he wakes up the sun is rising. Vincent made a little bed on the floor, Chastity is in her crib sleeping, and Ciel is also sleeping.

Sebastian sits up and swings his legs over the side of the bed. Chastity should eat, soon.

The moment his feet touch the ground, Sebastian lets out a loud cry of pain and his knees buckle. He falls to the ground, his legs shaking. Why can’t he use his legs? Is it because of his birth?   
“Ciel-Ciel-Ciel-Ciel,” he begs, pulling on the bed spread.

Vincent wakes up first and picks up Sebastian, putting him on the bed. Sebastian is shaking, and Vincent kisses his cheeks and massages his thighs.   
“Relax, baby, okay? It’s okay, you’ll be fine…”

“Chastity? Chastity! I-I need to-”   
Vincent places the half awake baby in Sebastian’s arms, and he shakily lets her nurse.

 

Ciel was woken up by Sebastian’s cries and the movement on the bed, and he gave a groan before waking up completely and opening his eyes. He woke up just kn time to see his father pick up Sebastian from the floor and put him on the bed. “What happened?” He asked, sitting up quickly and moving behind Sebastian, putting his legs on both sides of him and wrapping his arms around him. He was tempted to massage him, but he didn’t know of that would hurt the other.

As he heard what happened, his eyes widened, and he nuzzled into the other, trying to comfort him. He shook his head, wondering why that had happened. It could be because of Sebastian’s birth. He didn’t know. “Sebastian…just relax…we’ll figure it out…maybe you’re still tired and out of energy. You need to eat something.” He murmured, kissing his cheek and offering a smile. “Who knows, it could be a stupid reason like you just forgot how to use them for a second.” He shrugged again, laughing lightly. He bent down and kissed Chastity’s cheek, before getting up and looking at Sebastian’s legs. “You moved them to be able to get to the edge of the bed.” He stated, thinking. “So, you can still use hem. Maybe they just cant support your weight yet. It could be because of your weight. You are thin, and having Chastity took a lot out of you.”

 

Sebastian is constantly reminded of his father, now. Chastity has his eyes. Chastity has his ice blue cold eyes! Oh, that must mean that Sebastian has Samuel’s eyes, too! Blue eyes can only happen when two blue alleles get together, Sebastian has half his mother’s eyes and half of Samuel’s. He closes his eyes. His head is pounding. Chastity is suckling and making cute little grunting noises. 

“Y-Yeah,” he whines, and Vincent kisses Sebastian’t temple. “Let me make you some fruit, baby? Does that sound good?" 

Sebastian nods, and uses his free hand to wipe his nose. Is he getting sick? "Can I h-have the sugar strawberries?” “Sure thing, baby doll." 

The door shuts quietly behind Vincent, and Sebastian’s hands start to shake so he puts Chastity down. Where is he putting her down at? Is he putting down into a grave or a new life? Is Samuel's offspring any way to live?  Samuel isn’t dead, Samuel isn’t dead. He’s living within Sebastian’s veins, within his daughter’s. Sebastian scratches at his pale wrist, his fingernails becoming alarmingly sharp and eventually his skin gets ripped open. Blood bursts from pale white, and drips down his forearm.

"He lives in me, Ciel, I am  _him,"_ he whispers and holds his bleeding arm to his chest. Blood smears on his breasts. Chastity starts to cry, Sebastian is currently trying to not kill himself. Samuel lives within him. He can never truly, truly, get rid of Samuel can he? He will always see him in his daughter’s innocent eyes. 

"I want to give her away,” Sebastian whispers, wiping his (healed?) arm on the covers and leaving a small trail of blood. 

“I want her gone. So she doesn’t have to live with me." 

 

Ciel immediately shook his head, his eyes widened and surprised both at Sebastian clawing his arm until it poured blood, and him saying that he wanted to give Chastity away. He quickly picked her up and began to rock her, shushing her and kissing her forehead. “We’re not giving her away.” He stated firmly, glaring at Sebastian. “Don’t you think that’s what he would have wanted? For you to kill her or give her away? Don’t be weak enough to do that.”

He caught Sebastian’s lips in a kiss, and shook his head when he pulled back. “Yes, you have his blood in you, but that doesn’t mean that you are evil. His blood isn’t what made him evil. He chose to be that way. You don’t have to be that way.” He laid Chastity down in her crib when she quieted, then walked back over to Sebastian. “Listen. I love you. I love everything about you. There isn’t anything I would change.”

He ran his fingers through his hair, his gaze showing how much he cared and worried. “I promise I’ll do everything I can for you. Just name it, and I’ll do it, without any hesitation. Unless it has to do with harming you or Chastity.”

Even if it meant for himself to become evil, he would do it. Sebastian was completely innocent, and he’d do anything he could to keep it like that. He didn’t care about anyone else but his father, Sebastian, and Chastity. No one else mattered. “All you have to do is ask, and I’ll do it. Even if what it is seems evil. I just want yiu to get better.”

 

Sebastian wasn’t speaking English anymore. He was murmuring to Ciel in some other language, but he seemed calm. Or, calmer.

He pulls Ciel down into a hug, his crying having been reduced to small hiccups. But he’s no longer destructive, and after a moment he whines, “You don’t have to be that way, Ciel. I don’t want you getting hurt. Period.”   
He tucks his head under Ciel’s chin, taking the moment to relax. His legs ache. His entire body aches, actually. It makes sense that he wouldn’t be able to walk after having Chastity. She wasn’t a particularly big baby, but Sebastian’s body wasn’t quite meant to have children.

Ciel feels something smooth and warm against his ankle. It feels almost like a snake, but smoother.   
“Sorry,” Sebastian murmurs, and there’s a swishing underneath the sheets. “I can’t control it sometimes. The…demon parts. I wish they’d go away, but I’d probably be dead without them. Do…do you think you’ll be scared? If you see my-my…demonic parts…you won’t…stop loving me, right?”

A stupid question, but Sebastian wants to know. Most humans believe in some strange higher power, but whatever the case demons are usually bad. Is Ciel one of those people? He has never seen Ciel or Vincent pray. But…some people aren’t open about it.

 

Ciel quickly shook his head, moving slightly so he was able to look into Sebastian’s eyes. “I don’t care if I get hurt, Sebastian. If it’s to protect you, I’d go so far as to die for you. You deserve to be happy. I only wish I could accomplish that more.”

He stayed quiet for a few minutes, his hand gently rubbing Sebastian’s back, as he quietly wondered if it hurt the other to hunch down so much to be able to tuck his head under his chin. Sometimes, he honestly did hate being so short. Times such as now made it such a disadvantage. He gave a light sigh, closing his eyes and relaxing.

When he felt something warm and fleshy against his ankle, he stilled, for a moment thinking it was a snake. It certainly felt like one. But, Sebastian’s words told him what it was, and he listened closely before opening his eyes and rolling down the covers to be able to see his tail. “Nothing can make me love you less. I know you are a demon. What matter would it be if you looked like one?” He gently kissed his forehead, wondering where his father could be.

“Me and my father aren’t overly religious. I don’t think he’s ever been one to pray much, and we often go to church for appearances. As for myself, I only pray when the situation seems dire enough to need Him.” He shrugged, then gently squeezed the other and went back to gently rubbing his back. “So, I honestly don’t mind that you’re a demon.”

 

“I want to show you,” Sebastian whispers. His tail wraps around Ciel’s leg, starting at his knee. A few coils around his calf.   
“Can I show you?”   
He’s about to keep talking when the door opens. Vincent is carrying a plate of sugar strawberries, and Sebastian sits up eagerly. His tail stays wrapped around Ciel’s leg tightly.

“Thank you,” Sebastian murmurs. Vincent steals a strawberry, and also a kiss from Sebastian. The teen looks so at peace, quite the contrary to what Ciel just witnessed.   
“I gotta go to work, kiddos,” Vincent says. Sebastian whines, putting the plate down for a goodbye kiss. He wraps his arms around Vincent’s neck, kissing all over the elder’s face.   
“Be safe,” Sebastian whines. Vincent kisses his forehead and murmurs, “Always.”

Vincent leans over the crib and gives Chastity a kiss on the head. She gives a cute little baby noise, wiggling her arms and legs. Vincent makes a note to buy baby clothes on the way home.

Vincent doesn’t forget Ciel, hugs his son tightly and says, “There’s food in the fridge when you two get hungry. I’ll pick up some baby clothing for Chastity on the way home.”

 

Ciel was about to reply to Sebastian when he felt his tail wrapping tightly around his leg, causing him to shiver and hold Sebastian more tightly. He had never been one for reptiles, and at the moment, that’s what it reminded him off. He put one hand on the covers, about to pull them down so he could see the tail, when his Father came into the room.

He sighed, smiling when he saw him steal a strawberry from Sebastian’s plate before frowning when he heard that he had to go to work. Another sigh left him and he nodded, trying not to notice how Sebastian kissed all over his face. He busied himself with thinking about the feeling of the tail wrapped around his leg, shivering again. He looked up when his father hugged him, and he wrapped his arms around him tightly, almost not wanting to let go. Ever since they had learned about the cult, he was frightened that one day, he might not ever see one of the other’s again if they left. “Alright.” He replied, watching his father leave.

He nuzzled into Sebastian, smilling slightly as he stole a strawberry. “Go on, show me how demonic you can look. I promise I won’t be frightened or shun you.”

 

Sebastian inhales his strawberries. He’s been fed on a daily basis for awhile now, but before now everything his body had went to baby Chastity. Now, his body can focus on itself.   
He licks the sugar from Ciel’s lips, and whispers, “Okay, close your eyes.”

Sebastian slides out of bed, exhaling. He stands, his tail flickering like a cat’s. He’s extremely nervous. Samuel could easily pinpoint where Sebastian is once he uses his powers…But Samuel is dead. Remember this, Sebastian. Samuel. Is. Dead.

He shifts from foot to foot, and decides to start with his horns. Two sets, the set in the back smaller than that in the front, both pitch black. While one set is larger than the other, neither pair can be considered small. They’re proportionate, to Sebastian’s skull and each other.   
A strange shadow takes over the room, and Sebastian licks his lips as his fangs elongate.

The last to come are his wings.

Sebastian’s breath hitches, and he makes a pitiful sound as his wings reveal themselves. They’re pitch black, and looks more like shadows than actually wings. His eyes are glowing in the slight darkness, but he looks scared. It’s supposed to be menacing, but Sebastian just looks…terrorfied.

“Don’t put holy water on me,” Sebastian jokes. Or maybe it’s a joke. It’s hard to tell sometimes if what Sebastian says is sarcastic or not.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> handjobs (ciel/seb) and some demon stuff. No incest (yet)

Ciel gave a small laugh at what he thought to be Sebastian’s joke, before standing up and slowly walking toward the other. It was taking him a few moments to take everything in. He expected Sebastian’s demon form to be ugly, or out of place, but it looked so natural on him.

“You’re beautiful.” He whispered, reaching up and running his fingers along his horns, studying them, before moving to his wings. His eyes locked on them, and he ran his fingers along the top of them before sighing and smiling. “Your wings are beautiful. And soft. I just want to press myself into them.” He laughed, being careful of where he touched, ans not touchinf any of the oil glands.

After a few minutes’ his attention went to Sebastian’s tail, and he watched it, before running his hand along it. “I’ll admit, part of me is scared. But, you look so scared yourself that it’s hard for that to be somethibg strong.” He shrugged, kissing him gently. “You’re handsome, even with all of your demonic traits now.”

 

“You-You wanna see something cool,” Sebastian asks. He grabs Ciel’s hand, and walks to the window. It’s raining outside, thundering and lightning.   
He breathes in deep, opens the window, and shouts at the sky. It’s loud, like a crack of thunder, and in some foreign language.

Instantly, the skies clear, leaving nothing but sunshine.

“And I-I can do other stuff! Like breath fire and slow time and become a ghost! It’s all part of being a demon. I don’t know what it’s called…Sometimes I have to say the words really loud and sometimes I whisper them….”

Chastity didn’t seem to be upset, she just wiggles her arms and legs and made baby sounds. Sebastian is bursting with happiness. He’s never felt so alive. He can feel power running through his veins. Oh, he’s starving again!   
His stomach grumbles, and he squirms a little.

“Do you wanna feel,” he asks softly, taking Ciel’s hand and placing it directly on his left breast.   
“I see you looking at them sometimes. We’re boyfriends, so you can…feel if you want.”

 

Ciel immediately went slackjawed as he watched the dark and imposing storm clouds roll away at Sebastian’s command, and he wondered how anyone so powerful could be so scared. How this much power could lie dormant in what was once a human being. “That’s amazing.” He said, smiling and feeling the sun on his features.

He closed the door once Sebastian went back inside and glanced at Chastity, noticing how she didn’t even seem phased. Perhaps part of her was demon. It wasn’t impossible. He then looked back at Sebastian, hearing him say everything that he could do. Perhaps…perhaps they did have a chance against the cult. His mind worked out a strategy, like it always did. Finding strategies and pathways just like his father did.

Perhaps if he got Sebastian to the right weight again and helped his mindset to become normal, then he would use his power against the cultists. He had a lot of it. They could win, with Sebastian. Though, he glanced away, suddenly ashamed. Part of him was jealous that Sebastian had so much power, yet was afraid to even use it. Most of it would never even be used.

He was brought out of his thinking when Sebastian grabbed his hand and placed it on his breast, his cheeks darkening in a dark blush. His hand briefly tightly before he recoiled, taking a step back, completely embarrassed. “I was only curious! I mean, it’s not like I’ve seen naked female parts or anything…” he blushed harder, laughing nervously. But, he was curious at what they felt like. He wouldn’t meet Sebastian’s eyes as he reached up and gently grabbed his breast again, feeling it.

 

It felt…good. Weird good, in a way. Ciel squeezing his breast like this.   
“A-ah,” Sebastian stutters. He feels…weird. He feels like something is happening to his body. He’s never been touched like this. Never so softly, so tenderly. He likes it.   
“Ciel,” he whines softly, grabbing onto his boyfriend’s shirt. His nipples harden, and a blush dusts Sebastian’s cheeks.   
“Vin-Vincent says he is going to take me bra shopping next time he is off. Do-Do you want to come with me-me?”

His wings fold against his back, and his tail wraps around his ankle. He’s a little nervous, because Ciel has never touched him like this. What if he gets hard? What if Ciel decides that he wants to have sex? Ciel would never rape him, would he? No, he wouldn’t. That’s a stupid thought.

Sebastian’s blush spreads to his ears and he says softly, “Th-That feels really good.” His hand grabs Ciel’s wrist, half keeping it there and half guiding it away. Sebastian gets Ciel’s hand to his other breast and he makes a small moaning sound.   
“I-I like this. It doesn’t hurt,” Sebastian whines, feeling his nether regions start to react. This is normal. He usually didn’t get erections when Samuel raped him. They didn’t care about his pleasure. They just fucked him until they were done. Sebastian didn’t wiggle or squirm, because he knew that if they hit the right spot, he could very much be fucked dead.

“Can-Can you,” Sebastian begins, then changes his mind.   
“Can I kiss you?”

 

Ciel was admittedly nervous himself. He’d never touched anyone like this. Seeing Sebastian naked was practically the first sexual thing he had done, if it could be called that. Though, what he was doing now, definitely beat that. He had never even touched himself, usually just uncomfortably sat out his erections until they were gone and the urge faded.

As Sebastian’s hand reached up and held onto his wrist, he let it guide him, getting confused when it was pulled half off then pushed back to Sebastian’s breast. He felt his other hand be grabbed, and guided toward his other breast. He sighed, squeezing both of them, blushing harshly at hearing Sebastian’s moan. He bit the edge of his lip, knowing they shouldn’t be doing this, especially in the same room as Chastity.

He opened his mouth to say something, before giving a small nod to Sebastian’s question. He wouldn’t let it go too far unless he was sure Sebastian truly wanted it, and they were in a room separate than Chastity. “This isn’t going to go too far. Especially not with her in the room. I shouldn’t even be doing this near her.” He murmured gently. “We can continue in another room, if you truly want it.” He leaned his head back slightly, licking his lips. “Yes, you can kiss me.”

 

Sebastian’s blush spreads. He likes it.   
“I want it! I don’t want…sex, but I-I like this feeling. I want you to-to keep-”   
He moans again, biting his bottom lip. He doesn’t want to cum all over himself, but Ciel’s inexperienced hands are too cute.   
“I-I get it. You don’t want Chastity to hear her parents…going at it…”

But he kisses Ciel, opens his mouth and bites down on Ciel’s bottom lip. When Ciel gasps, he sticks his tongue in Ciel’s mouth. A teasing gesture, because a second later his tongue is gone and he’s just kissing Ciel.   
“P-Pinch a little. L-Like this,” Sebastian murmurs, demonstrating on Ciel’s nipples. His boyfriend is so cute, blushing and wiggling just like him.

“Would you rather us be in your father’s bed? I have no objections, but you might feel uncomfortable.”   
Vincent’s cologne is one of the best smells. He regularly makes Vincent wear a shirt he gave to Sebastian when they first met. It’s probably Sebastian’s favorite article of clothing. All of Ciel’s clothes are too small.   
“Besides, these sheets need to be cleaned badly. I don’t wanna lay in blood soaked sheets anymore. Are we ever gonna get new sheets?”

 

Ciel let out a small gasp as his nipples were pinched, his eyes widening in unexpected pleasure as a strange feeling went through him. He squirmed, making a small sound as he found Sebastian’s tongue in his mouth, tasting the strawberries and sugar he had eaten. He licked his lips when in the mext moment they were gone, before gasping again as his lower lip was nipped. “Yes, I don’t want Chastity to hear. It’s just wrong for our child to hear sexual noises coming from us.” He murmured.

He then glanced toward the bed, shaking his head and shrugging. “We’ll have to change them ourselves. I don’t know when Father will be home.” He murmured, blushing at the idea of doing this in his Father’s room. But, there was no where else to go. He reached down and took Sebastian’s hand, leading him out of his room and to his father’s. He sighed, nuzzling into the other before reaching up and grabbing his breasts again. He gently pinched his nipples, blushing slightly. “I’ve never done anything like this. I’ve never even really felt pleasure myself.” He nervously lookrd at the floor. “I’ve never even…touched myself…”

 

Sebastian can feel himself lactating. Just a little, a few tiny drops of milk staining through his shirt. Vincent promises to bring bras home. Where he gets them, Sebastian could care less about. It feels awkward. Having his breasts on display.

He falls backward onto Vincent’s bed. It smells just like him. The smells surround him, wrap around his body, successfully filling Sebastian’s head with lust and want. He rolls his hips, and whines, “I-It’s okay. I know what to do. Well, sort of. I know how sex between two males work. I’ve never really enjoyed any of the sex I had. At least, I don’t remember enjoying it.”   
He settles Ciel down on his hips, and whimpers softly. He wants pressure on his crotch, where he is getting hard.   
“I’ve never gotten really…excited like this before. But if you wanna stop you can tell me, okay? And-and you have to stop if I tell you to.”

But, strangely, Sebastian doesn’t see himself wanting to stop any time soon. He squeezes Ciel’s hands, which in turn squeeze his breast. A louder moan comes out, and Sebastian starts to pant softly. Vincent’s smell, Ciel’s hands, Sebastian’s own attraction to both of them.   
It would be nice if he could bed the two at once. But they would likely be very uncomfortable. Vincent kissing and sucking on his neck, Ciel groping and pinching, Sebastian caught between them.

 

The blush on Ciel’s cheeks was getting worse, especially as he found himself getting hard and aroused from watching Sebastian’s reactions. He followed the other when he fell on the bed, and climbed up onto it, settling himself on Sebastian’s hips. “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do. I’ll stop if you tell me to, I promise.” He promised, looking down at the other. He could see his shirt getting wet, from lactating.   
He accidentally shifted downward, gasping and letting out a surprised moan as their clothed members brushed against each other and that strange feeling went through him again. He knew it was pleasure, but it was still a strange feeling to him. His nervousness showed in his gaze, as he wasn’t quite sure what to do. He could smell his father’s cologne all over the bed, and somehow, it didn’t bother him that much. It only made him slightly uncomfortable.

He bit the edge of his lip before slipping his hands underneath Sebastian’s shirt and gently pulling it over his head. His hands reached for Sebastian’s breasts again, and the growing lust in him showed as he pinched his nipples and rolled them slightly, leaning down to kiss and nip at Sebastian’s neck. He felt their clothed members brush against each other again and bucked his hips, rubbing against the other and moaning. “Se-Sebastian…” he mewled, sounding almost like a kitten. He could a dot of wetness wetting his pajama pants and underwear already.

 

Sebastian’s toes curled, his back arched, and he let out a long moan. This is what pleasure feels like? No wonder Samuel would smack him whenever he got an erection. God forbid Sebastian feel any sort of relief.

He moans out Ciel’s name breathily, huffing and puffing. He lets Ciel remove his shirt, and blushes harshly when his boobs are revealed for him to see. They’re small, but have stretch marks where they grew in too fast. Their sole purpose is to feed one small child. It’s a good thing Chastity doesn’t eat too often.   
Sebastian pulls on Ciel’s shirt, whining quietly. It only makes sense for his partner to be half naked, as well.  
When they’re clothed arousals touch, Sebastian has to bite his lip to keep the noises inside. He would surely be punished for making too much noise.   
“C-Ciel,” he whimpers, moving his hips slowly so they can grind against each other. Oh, this feeling is absolutely fascinating! He can’t, he can’t, it’s too good. Sebastian has only ever orgasmed when he was drugged up. When he could pretend it was Vincent fucking him, not Samuel. But when he did finally get aroused, his (undeveloped, at the time) penis would be mutilated. Scratched and sliced and burned.   
But wounds and scars heal. He doesn’t pay too much attention to his penis, but he knows how good it feels when touched properly.

“C-Can I touch you,” he asks softly, drips of milk running down the sides of his breasts.

 

Ciel quickly unattached his lips from Sebastian’s throat when he felt the tug on his shirt and the whine that Sebastian gave, understanding what the other wanted. He wanted his shirt off. He sat up just enough for him to be able to reach down and grab the edges and slip it off, throwing it to who knows where. It either landed somewhere on the bed, or floor. He wasn’t concerned about it now.

Small moans kept leaving his lips as Sebastian keot grinding their clothed members together, and he bit the edge of his lip for a moment to stifle a whine. His legnth was twitching inside of his underwear and aching to be let free of its confines of his pants. He shuddered, looking down at Sebastian. When he asked if he could touch him, he nodded, leaning down again and gently kissing his lips. “Of course you can.” He got out breathlessly, grinding back against the other. “Do anything you want. Just stop if I tell you to if I don’t like it.”

It felt like the room was getting increasingly hotter the more aroused he became. He couldn’t even properly describe what he felt at just this. His mind was getting foggy with the lust taking over and the delightful feeling spreading through him.

 

“You really think I wouldn’t stop if you asked me to,” Sebastian asks, his hands exploring Ciel’s torso. The skin is so soft, so untouched. There aren’t scars. There are no.. Imperfections. Just…smooth, soft pale skin. And it’s absolutely beautiful.

“I’m jealous of you,” he murmurs softly. “Look at your belly, here. See how there’s no scars? Or blemishes? See how smooth it is?” Ciel hasn’t been tortured or raped or beaten. And Sebastian is so jealous of that. Because Ciel never had to cry and beg for his life. But some might mistaken Sebastian’s envy as hatered. That isn’t what he feels at all. He can’t hate Ciel.

Sebastian slowly, nervously, places a hand on Ciel’s crotch. He rubs lightly, hoping that it feels good. Ciel hasn’t been touched before, Sebastian remembers. He moans when he feels Ciel moan, feels Ciel’s arousal pulsing.   
Did he do that? Did he make Ciel that aroused?

 

Ciel instantly shuddered as he felt Sebastian’s hands exploring his torso, amd he closed his eyes as a high pitched moan left him. His eyes opened when the other began speaking, amd he looked down at his stomach, noticing how it looked perfect, unlike Sebastian’s. He reached down with one hand, gently brushing his finger against one of tje scars, and sighing. “But I like you with the scars. Not that I would hate you if you didn’t have them. It just says how much you’ve been through, amd how strong you are because of it.” He murmured, closing his eyes again.

A sharp gasp left his lips as he felt Sebastian touch his member over his pants, and he shuddered, a high pitched moan leaving him as he whined. He couldn’t resist bucking into his hand, and he ended up having to move his hands from him to the bed on either sidr of the other so he wouldn’t claw him as his hands balled into fists. “Se-Sebastian…” he whimpered, feeling him start to rub him, his eyes squeezing shut tighter as wave after wave of that spine-tingling pleasure hit him. He ended up grinding into his hand, not able to help himself as he quickly worked himself imto a fit, panting and moaning. Breathless moans of Sebastian’s name left him as he harshlh blushed.

 

Sebastian gently pulls Ciel’s boxers down. He smiles a little when Ciel’s hard cock bounces out. It’s small, but if Ciel is anything like his father…  
Sebastian shudders at the thought, and his cold fingertips gently touch Ciel’s penis.   
He smiles and looks up at Ciel, murmuring softy, “Kiss me?”

He meets Ciel halfway, kissing him softly. He uses a free hand to guide Ciel’s hand to his chest.   
“I like it when you touch me here,” Sebastian whispers against Ciel’s lips. He presses another kiss to his boyfriend, and leans back against the bed sheets. His hips roll, while his hand works on Ciel’s length. He likes it. He wants more.

“Will you touch me,” he asks desperately, “Please try. I-I really like it…Or, I think I will. Do you like it?”

He moves his hand faster, remembering what he saw in this porn movies his father made him watch. Do that, Samuel would say, pushing his face against the screen. Do that, suck my cock like that, is it really so hard? Or are you to fucking stupid?

 

Ciel immediately let out a loud whine as he felt Sebastian’s cold hand wrap around his cock, and he shuddered, somehow resistinf the urge to buck into it. His arms quivered as they held him up, and he opened his eyes to look down at Sebastian.

He nodded at the question, leaning forward and gently kissinf the other. He let his hand be guided toward Sebastian’s chest again and nodded, squeezing and pinching his nipple again. He worked to be able to think, and he nodded again as he was asked to try to touch the other.

He shifted so he could reach down there without Sebastian having to let go of him, and slid the other’s boxers off, throwinf them on the floor. Hr was trying desperately to resist the urge of bucking into Sebastian’s hand, and right when he was about to wrap his hand around the other’s length, Sebasrian’s hand sped up on his, causing him to cry out in pleasure before biting his lower lip. He could feel that he was getting close to something, something like going over the edge. “Se-Sebastian…slow down…I’ll go over too quickly…if you keep going like that…” he moaned out, shaking his head and wrapping his hand around rhe other’s member. It was sticky from his precum, and he replicated what Sebastian was doing to him, pumping his length. His own prevum was going over Sebastian’s fingers.

He kept shivering, constant little moans leaving him as he pinched Sebastian’s nipple and tried to stifle his moans by kissing the other.

 

Sebastian watched as Ciel touched him. He wiggles and whines and arches his back, wanting more. He’s never been touched. And he likes it.  
“K-Keep touching here,” he encouraged, grabbing Ciel’s hand and placing it on his breast. He wants his nipples to be pinched. And he wants to be rubbed and touched and…  
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to stop…”  
  
He blushes and grabs Ciel’s own manhood, jerking slowly. He runs his thumb over the tip a few times, smiling a little at the reaction he gets. And combine that with Vincent’s scent and Ciel’s moans and his own inexperience in pleasure.  
  
Sebastian lets out a long moan as he cums, curling his toes and going completely still.  
“Ciel,” he whines softly, his hips jerking. 

 

Ciel gasped and jerked his hips forward when the tip of his member was rubbed, and he closed his eyes in pleasure, stilling his hands for a moment. Shudder after shudder of pleasure rolled through him, and already he felt like he was nearing an edge. “It-It’s coming…” He whined, bucking his hips into Sebastian’s hand and pinching Sebastian’s nipples, while he jerked his member. His hand moved slightly faster as he got closer to cumming, and his moans became higher pitched as well.  
  
He widened his eyes when Sebastian came, feeling his hot release spurt through his fingers and over them, and getting on to the bed. The sight and feel brought him over the edge, and his whole body shuddered as have a last moan before cumming as well, his eyes shutting even more tightly than before. He couldn’t describe the bliss he was feeling, but his whole body nearly vibrated with it.  
  
As he came back down, he laid down on the bed beside Sebastian, and he curiously brought his hand up to his mouth, tasting what was on his hand. He immediately made a face, finding it good, but also a taste that he would have to get used to. He lightly panted, whining out, “Sebastian…” He moved closer to him, kissing his cheek. “Thank you for that.” He blushed, though it was impossible to tell from his already flushed cheeks.


	17. Chapter 17

Sebastian stared at the ceiling. He felt…gross. He felt bad. His stomach hurts. Why does he feel so bad? Like Father had just fucked his mouth?   
Sebastian licks his lips, tastes his saliva. He doesn’t taste semen. His jaw doesn’t hurt. So…no. Father did not just fuck his mouth. Ciel….touched him. That’s what happened. Ciel touched his tender breasts, touched his soft skin.

Chastity starts to wail from Sebastian’s room. He stands up and walks back to his newborn daughter, stepping over his and Ciel’s discarded clothing.   
-   
Vincent comes home late at night. Sebastian is awake, brushing the dog. She woofs at Vincent, and he pats her head. Sebastian looks up at Vincent, and Vincent gives him a box.   
“Baby clothes. For Chastity.”   
Sebastian smiles, and stands, and kisses Vincent softly.   
“Thank you. Thank you. You’re so kind-”   
“Don’t. I’m happy to help.”   
He kisses Sebastian’s forehead, and shakes off his coat and shoes. Sebastian follows Vincent like a lost puppy.

 

Ciel had done his best earlier in the day to replace his bed sheets and his father’s, so as not to let him know what him and Sebastian did. By the time his Father got home, he was asleep in his bed, not aware that Sebastian had gotten up to pet and brush the dog.

He had fallen asleep pretty easily for a nap after taking a shower and replacing the sheets after washing them. But, the nap had turned into actual sleeping for the night. He sighed in his sleep, turning onto his side and waking up slightly from the loss of a warm body next to his. “Sebastian?” He mumbled sleepily, half-awake as he slightly opened his eyes. He groaned, pulling the covers over his head as the bedside lamp was on and fell back asleep, mumbling something unintelligent. It was probably a curse because of how much the other left him.

He didn’t even wake up when his Fayher came home and the door slammed. He was deep asleep.

 

Ciel didn’t feel Sebastian come back to bed until much later. He’s exhausted.

Just as Sebastian plants his face in Ciel’s hair, Chastity opens her mouth and cries for food.   
-   
Sebastian didn’t sleep. He had stayed up, laying next to Ciel. Pacing between Ciel and Vincent’s room. Playing with their hair. Accidentally waking Vincent and kissing him back to sleep.   
Laying in Vincent’s arms, cuddling up to Ciel. In and out of his two lovers’ beds.   
So, when morning came, Sebastian looked like death. Dark circles beneath his eyelids. Chastity (in her blue footie pjs) suckling on his left breast.   
“Ciel,” Vincent says, waking his son “You have school today. And you have an hour to get ready.”

“Daddy-Vincent?”   
“Yes, Sebastian?”   
“Does Ciel really have to go to school?”   
“Mhm. At least I’m off today.”

Sebastian gives Chastity to Vincent, tucking his breast back into his bra.   
He curls up on the couch, pulls a blanket up to his ears.   
Vincent sits beside him. And when Ciel walks by to get breakfast, Sebastian grabs him and pulls his boyfriend close.   
“Good morning,” he coos.

 

Ciel groaned as he was woken up for school, not really feeling like going. He wanted to stay home and be with Sebastian. Besides, he still wasn’t sure if saying that Sebastian could be with him and his father was a good thing. He grudgingly got out of bed, trailing his feet downstairs to get breakfast before he got ready for school. His eyes widened when Sebastian pulled him close, and he smiled, kissing Sebastian’s lips briefly. “Morning.” He says, waking up more.

His gaze roamed Sebastian’s face, and he tried not to look worried as he noticed the dark circles under his eyes. Why hadn’t Sebastian slept good? He wanted to know. He sighed and pulled away, walking into the kitchen and making himself a bowl of cereal. He brought it with him downstairs to the living room, and sat in one of the other couches, since Sebastian and his Father had taken up the longest one. “It seems like it’s too early.” He said softly, in between bites of his eating. “I wish I could be homeschooled like you, Sebastian.” He shrugged, looking down at his bowl and shifting in his seat. He despised going to school, actually. Everyone was annoying and in his way. He would have begged for online school years ago if he hadn’t have had his pride. He didn’t beg. 

He finished his cereal in the span of a few minutes, and went back to the kitchen, placing the empty bowl in the sink. He trudged back upstairs, and to his room, looking through his drawers for something to wear. He quickly chose an outfit, and changed into it before walking to the bathroom and brushing his teeth and hair. He put his shoes on and walked back downstairs, sitting on the couch again. He had a few extra minutes. “Sebastian, why didn’t you sleep well last night?”

 

“I’m not sure,” Sebastian says. Vincent makes a baby sound at Chastity, and the baby girl coos and grunts back. Sebastian smiles at his daughter, and then at Vincent. He wiggles closer, and kisses Vincent’s cheek.   
“You’re good with kids,” Sebastian murmurs, and Vincent laughs softly.   
“I’m good with this one. Ciel was quite the squirmer.”

Sebastian crawls over to Ciel, and sits in his lap. He wraps his arms around Ciel’s neck, and whines, “I want to go with you. I’m going stir crazy here…I wanna get out.”   
He remembers last night, how his legs still don’t work and how he had crawled between rooms. His body still hurts. He probably shouldn’t go anywhere. His hair is long enough to pass a girl, though. So when he can walk, he can go to the mall with Vincent and go shopping…   
Chastity falls asleep, and Vincent holds her in one arm. It’s amazing, Sebastian thinks, how quickly Vincent accepted Chastity. If humans work anything like lions, Vincent would have mauled Chastity for being the offspring of another male. But apparently Vincent doesn’t see it like that.

“Do you like Chastity,” Sebastian asks Ciel, tilting his head.

 

Ciel pouted as Sebastian whined and stated that he wanted to go to school with him. In all honesty, he wouldn’t mind that, but it was the other’s idea that he would go to an online school now. “I wish you could go. But you said you wanted to go to an online school.” He stated, shrugging and brushing their noses together. He glanced down at Sebastian’s legs, reaching down and rubbing the outside of his thighs for a moment to relax them. “How are your legs? Can you walk fine today?” He asked, wanting to make sure the other was alright. 

He tilted his head to the side as he was asked if he liked Chastity, and he thought about it for a moment, showing he was taking the question seriously. “No. I don’t like her. I love her.” He stated, smiling and shrugging. “She is ours. She’ll be raised not knowing what you had to.” He nuzzled into the other, trying to teassure him. “You asked me a question like this yesterday.”

 

Sebastian, really really likes the feeling of Ciel massaging his legs. Something about the gentle rubbing and kneading…something relaxing. Something nice.   
“I’m glad you like her so much,” Sebastian murmurs, “And no, my legs aren’t working yet. I think my entire lower half is just so wrecked from having Chastity…I don’t know when I’ll be able to walk…”

He’s scared that he’ll never walk again. But that’s unlikely. He can move his legs a little, to help him crawl along the floor. That was impossible a few days ago. So he’s recovering.   
Vincent carries Chastity to the kitchen, where he makes coffee. He offers Sebastian any, and he shakes his head. Sebastian’s black curls bounce, and he innocently plays with the tip of a curl. Watches Vincent. Cuddles up to Ciel, and turns his attention from Vincent to the TV.

After a few minutes of silence, Sebastian asks, “I wonder if anyone will miss me? I mean, what if…I dunno. Someone asks you where I went? Don’t tell them about Samuel or Chastity, okay? Especially not Chastity. I don’t want her to get hurt.”

 

Ciel pouted at hearing how injured Sebastian still was, and he briefly shook his head in sympathy. He didn’t want the other to be hurting or not be able to walk. He wanted him healed and able to walk soon. He was likewise scared that some damage had been done to the nerves and muscles in Sebastian’s body when he’d had Chastity. What if he couldn’t walk right? Or got tired easily from walking? He only knew that he’d stay supportive.

He kept rubbing Sebastian’s thighs, his touches soothing as he noticed how much it relaxed the other. A light sigh of contentment left him as Sebastian cuddled up to him, and one of his hands moved to his back, soothingly and relaxingly rubbing it. He lifted his head slightly as the other began to speak after a few minutes, and shrugged, his pout turning into a thin smile. “I promise I won’t mention them. I wasn’t planning to. If someone asks about you, I’ll say that you just switched to online schooling because it’s easier for you. They don’t need to know any details.” He nuzzled into the other, kissing his cheek and hugging him. “Hopefully you don’t miss me too much while I’m gone.”

He glanced at the clock, sighing as he noticed that it was time to go. “I’ve got to go. Bye. I love you.” He kissed the other, moving him so he was off of his lap and walked over to his Father and Chastity. “It’s time to go, Father.” he stated, leaning down and kissing the top of the baby’s head. He walked over to the edge of the room, grabbing his bookbag and slinging it over his shoulder as he waited for the other.

 

Vincent hands Chastity to Sebastian, and Sebastian is currently shocked. Ciel is leaving him. Ciel isn’t…going to be around for awhile. Sebastian nods, and sets Chastity down to massage his own legs.   
“I’ll be okay,” he tells Ciel, but more to tell himself.   
But when his adopted family leaves, Sebastian breaks down into wails. Loud, horrid wails. He can’t control it, he just needs to cry. Because his family is gone. He is left alone. No one is coming for him.

He grabs a pillow and cries into that, because he isn’t sure if Ciel and Vincent have left yet.   
-   
“I feel bad leaving him all alone,” Vincent says, sitting in the car. They can hear Sebastian crying, crying for Ciel and Vincent to come back.   
Vincent chews on his bottom lip and shoves the car into reverse before he can make a stupid decision.   
But leaving Sebastian alone is hard. He cries, and he panics and there’s also Chastity’s safety…

 

Ciel was having a very hard time not begging his father to let him stay home with Sebastian as he heard his cries. His heard wrenched, and tears sprung into his own eyes that he tried to frantically bat away. “He’s only experienced being alone as being a bad thing. Once he sees that he’s home alone and not hurting and able to move around, perhaps he’ll calm down and get used to it.” He murmured, hope evident in his tone. 

He hoped that was the case. He wouldn’t be able to stand hearing Sebastian crying every morning. He’d much rather die. “I won’t be able to stand hearing that every morning.” He stated softly, looking out of the window of the car. He held onto the strap of his bookbag, trying to think of something different to clear his mind. He already knew that he wouldn’t be able to think of anything different other than Sebastian during school. And how was he supposed to eat if he couldn’t walk to the kitchen? He got out his phone, texting Sebastian, ‘You can text me. I’ll be able to do that during class, so I’m not completely away from you. Try to be strong and last 7 hours without me. That’s how long it is. Just that long. They’ll fly by. You’ll see.’ He put his phone away in his jacket pocket once he was done, and glanced at his father.

 

Sebastian didn’t read the text. He just wailed, and cried, and after a moment, stuttered out an apology. But no one is there to hear it. No one but Chastity, who also cried when her mother started to cry.

It isn’t until late in the school day Ciel receives a text back.   
“I’m sorry. Hurry home.”   
-   
Vincent had come back to a destroyed house. Sebastian had flipped a couch, broken the toaster, thrown the dining table, and smashed a window. Food wrappings, and food, lay strung along the floor.   
Sebastian is curled up behind the flipped couch, rocking back and forth and sobbing.   
Chastity is safely tucked away in her crib. She’s asleep. Vincent can breathe and help Sebastian clean.   
-   
When Ciel gets home, Sebastian is laying on the couch. He looks like Death. He has fresh, red, angry, cuts on his wrist. Vincent had taken his razor away, and Sebastian felt…empty.   
Ciel walked in to the scene of Vincent wrapping up Sebastian’s wrists. Vincent is seething. He isn’t talking to Sebastian, and is very roughly wrapping his wrists.   
“Fucking hell,” Vincent spits, “You’re so god damn stupid. Go to your room. And don’t fucking come out until I say so.”

Sebastian nods and runs into his room, tail between his legs. 

 

Ciel immediately gave a confused look as he got home and he dropped his bookbag near the entrance to the living room. He watched as his father angrily wrapped Sebastian’s wrists, and listened as he insulted him. To him, it sounded like something Samuel would say, and he instantly got defensive. “You sound like Samuel. Is that really how you should treat him?” He spat out, leaning down and grabbing his bookbag and quickly putting it over his shoulder. 

Though, seeing his father like this was frightening. He had never seen him so angry before. He’d never been treated like that. “Whatever he did, I’m sure he doesn’t deserve the yelling and venom you’re giving him.” He shook his head, then stepped away, turning around and running upstairs, knocking on Sebastian’s bedroom door. 

“Sebastian, it’s me. Can I come in?” He asked, not wanting to intrude on the other if he wanted to be alone. Whatever the other did, it had to be awful for his father to get that angry. “I’m sorry that Father got so angry. Whatever you did probably didn’t deserve it.”'

 

Vincent shakes his head; Ciel didn’t see the scene he did. Vincent had closed his eyes, went to take a nap. And when he woke up, Sebastian was in the bathroom, making himself bleed.   
And Vincent had gotten very angry.   
  
Sebastian slowly opens the door. He isn’t scared, as much as he is just ashamed.   
“Vincent doesn’t….he has a right to be angry. And he doesn’t sound like Samuel at all. He sounds like he should have.”   
Sebastian looks at his gauze, and sees the little bit of starting to seep through.   
Sebastian picks up Chastity, rocks her until her little cries stop.   
She’s such a sleepy baby. When she isn’t eating or crying, she’s sleeping. Sebastian is too afraid to get to a hospital.

He sits on the bed, sighing in relief. He can walk, now. In short bursts. From the bed to the door. Maybe from the door to the bed.   
“It’s my fault he’s angry. I…, well…” 

He slowly undoes the gauze, and hisses as his skin is revealed. Vincent had done a stitching, numbing the pain the best he could. But Sebastian has several, a few rather deep, cuts on the pale underside of his wrist.   
Was he tryin to kill himself? Maybe. That would have been a nice, but unexpected, outcome.

Vincent had founds him and slapped him a few times and pulled his hair and told him to stands still so he could fix it.   
Sebastian doesn’t blame Vincent, as he wraps his cuts back up. But he does rub his cheek, hoping a bruise won’t form.

 

Ciel immediately stepped into the room when the door was opened, and he followed Sebastian to the bed, watching him with a worried expression. At least he could walk slightly. “WHat did you do?” He questioned, sitting on the bed beside him and glancing at Chastity. It couldn’t be that bad to get his father that angry.

His eyes widened when the gauze was undone and he saw what Sebastian had done to himself, and his hands formed tight fists in his lap. Why had he done that? Was he trying to kill himself? He was still safe, and he was away from Samuel, so why would he continue with that? He reached over and grabbed Sebastian’s arm as it was wrapped back up, his grip like steel as he looked into Sebastian’s eyes. He could see the shame in them, but he couldn’t resist asking, “Why did you do this? You’re away from anything that could hurt you. I thought this would stop. Did he take it away from you?” He was concerned but angry, and he wanted to strangle some sense into the being right beside him. “Why would you do this?! You’re so smart, but trying to kill yourself? Would you honestly want to leave Chastity and me behind?”

 

“I-I could. Feel it. I could feel it. Someone…Samuel was telling me to. He wasn’t…he wanted to kill Chastity, but he wasn’t able to do so. He was talking to me, I swear!”   
Sebastian squirms, and Chastity falls asleep in his arms. He puts the baby girl down and crawls back onto the bed.

“Yes, Vincent took my razor. I doubt I’ll ever see it again. I know how selfish it is. I didn’t want to kill himself. I just wanted the voices to stop!”   
He grabs the nearest pillow and buries his face in it.    
“Just get out,” he begs Ciel softly. “Leave me alone. I need to think. I don’t want you to see me cry. Just go. Just…go, please.”

Sebastian looks at the tears on the pillow case. Samuel was talking to him. He could…hear his voice. Saying things. Like ‘off yourself already’. Things like 'aren’t you such a whore? Fucking your boyfriend’s dad. Despicable.’   
Bad, bad things. Things that made Sebastian seriously crave blood and death.  
He was getting hungry again. He needs flesh. But…he can’t hunt until he’s recovered.

Sebastian sinks his fangs into the pillow, his tail swishing on top of the bed.


	18. Chapter 18

Ciel gave an odd look to Sebastian as it was stated that the other heard Samuel speaking to him, and he shuddered, imagining hearing it. Hearing the voice of the dead would be horrible, especially if it was him. He could only imagine the things that it said. He gave a soft whine, hugging the other and trying to give his sympathy. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t here. I’ll try to convince father to let me get online schooling.” He murmured. 

His eyes widened as Sebastian grabbed a pillow to scream into it, before looking at the ground as he was asked to leave. “O-Of course. I understand.” He said softly, kissing his cheek lightly before standing up. “You can text me to come back up, if you want.” He stated, walking over to the door. He took a last look, seeing Sebastian’s fangs sinking into a pillow and shuddering before leaving and closing it and hurrying downstairs.

He sat on the couch next to his Father, leaning against him. “He showed me what he did. Some people did ask where he went and I said just what I said I would. But, I want to take online schooling also. I can watch over him and Chastity. This can’t be safe or good.” He hated to say this… “He isn’t…he isn’t emotionally stable.” He looked beggingly at his Father. “Please. I can help him. He needs one of us with him. He can’t be left alone.”

 

“I asked him if he was okay,” Vincent says. He’s calmed down. He loosely holds Ciel, an arm around his son. It isn’t a sexual advance at all, just a…loving gesture.   
“I asked him if he wanted to sleep with me while I took a nap. You know me, I can sleep through anything. But he just…and when I woke up and I couldn’t find him I panicked. I didn’t mean to get angry. I was just…scared. I thought he was gonna die for a minute. And there’s no way I’m giving up Chastity.”

Vincent sighs, leaning his head back. He’s quite worried about Sebastian, like usual. But….  
He closes his eyes, and distracts himself with thoughts of sleep and dinner.

 

Ciel leaned into his father, taking into account what he said. He knew that he could sleep through anything, so it was understandable how he slept through this. And likewise, he would have also panicked if he couldn’t find Sebastian. “I understand. I probably would have reacted the same, honestly. But, he heals quickly, sometimes. And he said that he heard Samuel speaking to him and he only wanted the voices to stop.” He shrugged, trying to understand this. Now, he was doubting if the man was actually dead.

“You wouldn’t have to give up Chastity since I’m the Father of her.” He sighed, closing his eyes and leaning against Vincent. “I do want to stay home with him from now on, though. I can try to help with this.” He gave the same pleading look, and put out his bottom lip. “Maybe if I’m around, I can stop him from doing anything drastic again.”

 

“Ciel, we both know you aren’t the father. The…biological father. I haven’t seen that many pictures of Samuel, but Chastity defiantly has his eyes. Also, neither of us can produce breast milk like Sebastian….but, I suppose there are….formulas for that.”   
Vincent rests his head against Ciel’s for a moment. Thinking about letting his kid be homeschooled. Ciel can take all of his advanced courses online…and he can stay home with Sebastian. But what if Sebastian goes stir crazy? No, he will be healed soon and Vincent will god damn force Sebastian out of the house.

“Yeah, you can be homeschooled. I’ll work the papers out in a few days.”   
-  
Sebastian gets worse and worse. He stops eating again, but somehow doesn’t lose weight. He probably hasn’t slept in days. Any normal human would probably be dead. But not Sebastian.   
He is skin and bones, an ugly sack of shit. Sebastian grabs his bones in the morning, wonders how Ciel can kiss his ugly face.

But Chastity is a healthy, chubby baby. She likes to be held by Papa. She likes Mama’s feeding times. She likes Grandpapa’s deep voice.

Currently, Ciel is finally homeschooled. Vincent is at work. Sebastian couldn’t walk for a week, but now he’s up and moving around.   
“Ciel,” he whines from the couch. Baby Chastity is laying on her back, half asleep. Sebastian pinches his left breast, expecting something to happen. Nothing but the steady flow of milk. 

 

Ciel looked up at Sebastian from the laptop as he was called, and he made a small face before walking over to Sebasitan and kneeling before him. “What is it?” He asked, worry clear in his voice.

His gaze roamed over the other, and he tried to keep all of his worry from showing. It ws difficult, because he knew how much Sebastian wasn’t eating. He wanted him to eat, whether it was normal human food, or…other things. 

“You need to eat, Sebastian. Whether it’s real food, or other things, I don’t care.” He stated, taking one of his hands and squeezing it. “I love you.” He murmured, nuzzling into him.

 

“Don’t look at me like that,” Sebastian growls. “I don’t wanna eat.” Chastity, on the other hand, is very hungry. Most of the time. But she is currently sleeping, and isn’t thinking of food. Or mama. Or…anything. Just baby stuff.

Sebastian plays with his ribs, feels each and every bone. Feels his organs underneath. His lungs filling with air, his heart beating slowly.   
“I just wanna sleep, Ciel,” Sebastian confesses. He’s too weak to hunt, and any human food will make him sick.   
He turns on the TV, to the cartoon channel. He curls up, and closes his eyes.

His stomach is going to eat itself. His body will consume it’s own flesh. He needs something. He needs meat, he needs to eat an entire person.   
But he can barely walk without getting exhausted.   
“Ciel, can I ask you a favor?”   
He opens his dull eyes, and he hopes Ciel isn’t scared.

He might be asking Ciel to go fetch him a victim. Okay, he definitely is.

 

Ciel let out a light gasp when Sebastian growled at him, and he immediately looked away with a shamed look. It wasn’t his fault he was so worried. Sebastian hadn’t been eating, and he was obviously feeling very weak because of it. He could tell because he’d been sleeping fine and he wasn’t sick. 

He took a step back, glancing at Chastity before looking at the ground again. He nodded, hearing that Sebastian just wanted to sleep, and stood up, hearing the cartoons being turned on the TV. Since he couldn’t stop looking worriedly at the other, he wouldn’t look at him at all.

He sighed when Sebastian asked if he could ask him for a favor, and he turned back toward him, looking at him. “Yes. Anything. I already promised that I would do anything for you.” He murmured, reaching down and running his fingers partway through Sebastian’s hair. HIs gaze isn’t frightened at all, and he was prepared to do whatever Sebastian might ask. Though, judging from past times when they were alone, it would be something unpleasant, something he wouldn’t tell his father.

 

Sebastian wiggles, and produces a picture of a man from his sweatshirt. It’s sort of old, the man is maybe twenty and has his arm around a girl. It’s not antique old but maybe 1995 old.   
“Go to Gabriel, and tell him that I need this man.”   
Sebastian gets the pen from the coffee table, and circles someone in the background.   
“His name is Terry O’Cliff. He’s a homeless man who lives under an overpass. Tell Gabriel I need everything this man has. And you know where Gabriel lives, right?”   
-   
Gabriel’s apartment is unnecessarily clean. The smell of Clorox and bleach is prominent. The carpet is freshly vacuumed. There is no dining table, a kitchen directly to the left, and a small bedroom down the hallway. It’s devoid of decoration.

Gabriel answered the door, lounging in rather normal clothing.   
He tilts his head silently. And after a moment of such silence, he invites Ciel in for tea.

 

Ciel tilted his head to the side as he saw the old picture, wondering how Sebastian had gotten it. When it was stated that he needed the man in the background, he wasn’t a fool. Sebastian needed the man for food. Perhaps that was why he wasn’t eating normal human food. Perhaps it didn’t actually sustain him like this would. 

His gaze got darker, more serious, as he listened to the information he was given about the man, and he nodded, taking the picture and pocketing it. “Alright. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He murmured, kissing the other before grabbing his coat and putting on his shoes and leaving.

-

Ciel’s mind instantly began taking in the smel of Clorox and bleach as he got to Gabriel’s apartment. He wondered why it smelled so much like that, wondering if he had something to hide, or was simply cleaning. It was normal to clean with it in some places. But, with how clean it was, it was almost suspicious to him. It certainly didn’t make him feel comfortable.

At least Gabriel was wearing something normal. It helped to put him at ease. He held his gaze, feeling like he was being appraised, and sighed when he was invited in for tea. He looked around, getting a better look at how clean the place was. He fingered the picture in his coat pocket. “Sebastian sent me here, saying that he needed a man.” He stated calmly, despite knowing that he was bringing about the man’s death. What could be a very painful death. But Sebastian couldn’t go on forever with how he was. So, he’d do this.

 

“Baby Gaap is getting snackish. He gave birth to Chastity recently, didn’t he?”   
Gabriel puts the picture in his pocket, making the tea. He makes sure that Ciel can see what he’s doing. He’s found that it relaxes Gaap.   
Also Ciel knows he isn’t getting roofied. Gabriel stirs the tea, sets out cream and sugar so Ciel can adjust the taste.

“How is he doing, Gaap?”  
In his eyes, Gabriel’s, Gaap is the youngest. He’s the smallest, he’s just a baby. That’s why he thought it was so wrong for Samuel to do those things. And Michael, Uriel, Rapheal, John, Peter, Paul…  
Gaap. Youngest of nineteen. All nineteen were named Bible names, but Gaap is special. There is a saint Sebastian, yes, but Mother chose that name. It was her dying breath. Sebastian. Sebastian Michaelis.

And then Father branded him…and Sebastian Michaelis became Baby Gaap…

Gabriel sips his tea, and watches the wall. The AC kicks in.   
“I’m sure you have questions that Bab- Gaap can’t answer. Either he was too young to remember or he doesn’t wanna talk about it…whatever. I can answer those questions. I’ve looked after that baby since he came out of our mom.”

 

Ciel couldn’t help but to be calmed at how he was able to be watched when Gabriel made the tea. He was able to see that nothing was put in it, and it calmed his suspicions. Maybe the man didn’t have anything better to do other than clean. It wasn’t likely that he was a demon like Sebastian, so maybe he had just finished cleaning because it was needed. 

He instantly takes the sugar when it was put out, putting plenty of it into his tea and a little bit of cream before stirring it and sighing. “He’s not doing so good, I think, as far as his appetite goes. He’s barely eaten in a week.” He looked down at the swirling liquid in his cup, and shook his head, letting his hair fall in front of his eyes. “He does well with Chastity, but with me and Father, it’s still hard to know what is going on all the time.” He looks up at the other, his gaze softening slightly and becoming imploring, as did his tone when it was stated that he could ask questions. He was grateful for the opportunity.

“Why do you call him Gaap still? When you could easily start to call him Sebastian?” He questioned, taking a sip of his tea. “My Father found him cutting one day after he woke up from a nap, and bleeding heavily, and when I asked Sebastian why, he stated that he heard Samuel speaking to him. He had to be hearing things. Samuel is dead, because he did so many things to him. Is it normal for him to hear him?” He bit the edge of his lip, sighing. “And why was he chosen, out of all of you? Why was he chosen to be tortured by the cult?”

 

I call him Gaap because, well, that’s what everyone called him. I didn’t know his name was Sebastian until he was thirteen.”   
Gabriel sips his tea, and adds a sugarcube. He stirs his tea with a spoon, and sets it back down. Another sip. “Gaap has schizophrenia. He hears people that aren’t speaking, sees things that don’t exist. It’s quite possible he just had an episode. Although hearing Samuel’s voice…that is strange. And I’m sure that Samuel is dead. Or, maybe he’s not. I’ve seen him in worse states than what Gaap left him.”

Gabriel adds more sugar, and a splash of cream. A few sips. Even if the tea is still too hot, it doesn’t seem to bother Gabriel.   
“I’m not sure, actually. Why Samuel chose Gaap. I like to think it’s because he looks much like our mother, more than any of us. Samuel had a lot of children, nineteen to be exact. I think he was looking for a specific trait. And Gaap must have that trait.”   
Gabriel looks at the photo that was given to him, at the circled man. Terry O'Cliff. Homeless. Won’t be missed. Ciel surely knows why Sebastian needs him.

“When someone of Gaap’s kind….is weakened. By birth or a traumatic event, they lose their humanity, in a way. Human food is disgusting. They only want to eat. But since Gaap has not hunted down this man himself worries me. He must be still recovering from birthing…Chastity, was it?”

 

Ciel quietly listened to Gabriel’s explanations to his questions, taking into account that he now knew that Sebastian has schizophrenia. He sighed, placing his cup of tea down, as it was still too hot for his taste. Just that tiny sip had almost scalded his mouth.

“He is still recovering from having Chastity.” He murmured, a light frown appearing on his lips. “It damaged him. We couldn’t take him to a hospital, because it would be questioned. His lower torso was damaged so much, that he couldn’t walk for a week. Right now, he is so weak, he can barely stand and move around for more than a couple of minutes at a time. He is too weak to hunt.” He sighed, remembering how Sebastian had freaked out when he couldn’t move his legs. He clenched his hands into fists to hide the fact that they were shaking, and closed his eyes. 

“I’m surprised he even opens up to me, when he could open up to Father…” He muttered, then realized what he said and widened his eyes. “Sorry. Just a bit of jealousy.” He said, and quickly changed the subject to another question of his.

“Do you know anything about the cult that Samuel was in?” He didn’t even bother trying to hide his intent, knowing that the other would most likely be able to see right through it, if he tried. “We’re already in this mess with Sebastian, and they might try to find him, putting us in the middle of it, and I refuse to leave him, so you might as well tell me.”

 

“All I really know is that it’s Satanic. Sorry, kid, that’s about it.”  
Gabriel doesn’t want to answer anymore questions. He makes up a bullshit excuse about how he has to finish cleaning.   
-   
A package shows for Sebastian a few days later. He manages to pick it up.

Ciel wakes on Saturday morning to find Sebastian eating a finely sliced cube of raw meat. Vincent must still be asleep, because his door is closed and Sebastian isn’t trying to fuck him.   
The dog watches Chastity, watches her wiggle and sleep. Chastity sleeps a lot. Babies…eat sleep poop. Sebastian is an expert on diaper changing, and Vincent doesn’t even smell it anymore.

Sebastian eats the meat straight from the cardboard box. He looks better already.   
About halfway through, Sebastian puts the meat in a bowl and puts it in the fridge. He writes ‘Sebastian’s food bowl’ in sharpie, so no one will accidentally eat it.

“I would have offered you some, but it wasn’t that good tasting. Brittle. Dirty,” Sebastian says softly, wrapping his arms around Ciel’s neck. As if that was the only issue with his food.   
Sebastian thinks about kissing Ciel, but knows he should brush his teeth first.   
“I’m gonna go brush my teeth. Good morning, Ciel.”

 

Ciel briefly nodded as Sebastian stated what was wrong with his food, knowing that that wasn’t the only thing wrong with it. He wasn’t going to become a canibal. A yawn escaped him and he stretched, kissing the other’s cheek lightly.

“Alright. I’m not sure if Father knows what it is or not, but you might want to clean up the blood that’s gotten on to you while you’re in the bathroom.” He murmured, shrugging as he sat up.

It was a relief that his father was still asleep, as he didn’t have any reason to be jealous yet. He knew what the other did with his father, even though he had promised not to. But he’s already promised himself that Sebastian’s happiness came before his own, so, even though it hurt, he stayed quiet about it. He sighed, watching as the other moved off to the bathroom, and placed his face in his hands, rubbing it. No matter what Sebastian said, it was still like a competition to get his affection when his father was in the room. Only when they were alone did he fully have his attention.

Ciel waited until Sebastian was back in the room, before saying anything. “Sebastian, I know what you do with my Father when he gives into you. I thought you promised that you wouldn’t do that with him? Why do you still try to fuck him?” He questioned, his insecure gaze on the bed. It was hard, trying to keep himself contained about this, among all the other worries about the cult showing up at any moment.

 

Fuck is such an ugly word, Sebastian thinks.   
“It was once,” he murmurs sheepishly. He looks away, wiping off his wet hands on his sweatpants. The one time he did allow Vincent to have sex with him…Ciel was at school. Sebastian was calming down from some sort of PTSD episode. Vincent was kissing him softly, rubbing his legs and his hips. Gentle stuff.   
He was very very tender with Sebastian, when they finally got up to that point.

He kissed his neck, his chest, let Sebastian cling onto him.

“Look, Ciel. With me and him it’s…complicated. I don’t want to have sex with you. I mean, you’re really attractive of course but…I don’t know. Sex isn’t important to me. Kisses are important. And hugs and holding hands. I know that you think sex is for people who love each other. But aside from Vincent and maybe Gabriel no one who has ever put their dick in me have loved me.”

Ciel is more important than sex. When he sees his petite boyfriend, he doesn’t think about touching dicks. He thinks about good morning kisses, Chastity calling Ciel ‘Papa’


	19. Chapter 19

Ciel could only sigh as Sebastian stated what he normally did, that sex  wasn’t important to him, and that he thought of him differently. If sex wasn’t important to him, why would he always be acting that way around father? Why did it seem like he was always trying to get him to give in and have sex with him?

He closed his eyes, simply thinking and now ignoring the other for a few minutes. He would always get this answer, and he knew it. Sex wasn’t important to Sebastian, as far as he was concerned. But, having a crush didn’t have to involve acting how Sebastian did. “Just forget about it.” He murmured, standing up and stretching. “It’s not important anyway. I promised that you could have us both, and I’ll keep that promise.” 

He gathered up a new outfit and looked over his shoulder, saying, “I’m going to take a shower.”

He walked to the bathroom, turning on the hot water for the shower, wanting to feel it burning his skin. Perhaps it would take his mind off of how unhappy he was. How everything he was doing for Sebastian made him uneasy or unhappy in some way. He groaned, stepping into the shower and sighing, letting the water run over him. He would do anything for the other, so why couldn’t he just ask for the other to choose him? Was it because he was afraid that he wouldn’t? Afraid that he would choose his father instead? Or afraid that Sebastian would get sad and depressed and do something else drastic?

He quickly washed and dried off, putting the new outfit on before brushing his teeth, letting himself freely think.

 

Sebastian hovered around the bathroom door. He wanted to cry, and he just…  
He stays there, curling up.   
He shakes, and clutches to his knees. Why did he let Vincent touch him?  
Why did he let Vincent put it in?

Sex sells, Sebastian comes to an answer. Sebastian had put himself into that situation, so he wouldn’t feel bad about eating dinner.   
He didn’t even want to have sex! He just did it!   
When Ciel comes out of the shower, Sebastian doesn’t care that he’s naked.

He hugs him tightly, and screams internally. He grabs Ciel’s skin, and cries softly, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t even orgasm. I only want you. I only want you…”  
Sebastian’s tears are coming down his face quickly. But he’s standing, and walking. He grabs Ciel through his towel, and sob-says, “Lemme show you how much I want…Lemme show you how much I’m sorry.”

 

Ciel immediately gasped as Sebastian grabbed him through his towel, and he reached down-trying to ignore the instant slight bit of pleasure that ran through him-and took Sebastian’s hand away. He didn’t want any of it if it was a way of apologizing or making up. He wanted it when they both wanted sex, and if that was never, then so be it. 

“No. I don’t want you to do anything sexual to me if it is a way of apologizing. You may have been taught that that got you things by Samuel, but it doesn’t work with me. It’ll only make me feel guilty.” He shook his head, bending down and cupping Sebastian’s cheek in one hand before leaning forward and gently kissing him. “I want sexual things to happen when we both want it. I don’t want them to happen because you’re trying to make something up, or apologize, or anything like that. I’m relieved that you only want me…” He brushed their noses together, as his other arm came around and pulled Sebastian against him as he sat on the ground, not even minding the fact that he was practically naked.

“It’s alright. I just have a tendency to get jealous. It’s nothing, alright?” He questioned, tilting the other’s head up so he could look into his eyes. He felt guilty now for doubting the other, like always. It was the vicious cycle that kept repeating. “But, honestly, here, you don’t have to use sex for me or my father as a payment or whatever. It’s not like that here.”

 

Sebastian falls to the ground with Ciel. He cuddles up next to his boyfriend, burying his face in Ciel’s wet neck.   
He smells like soap, and Sebastian doesn’t flinch when Vincent’s door opens.

Good thing Ciel has a towel on, otherwise Vincent would have seen everything. And that would have been very…unfortunate. Sebastian pulls Ciel into the bedroom, leaving Vincent with baby Chastity.  
Everything is fine and normal.

Over a few months, Sebastian keeps receiving packages from everywhere. Inside is the cold meat that he eats. Sebastian gains wieght, becoming more and more human looking. He’s at a healthy weight, currently. He doesn’t look like a skeleton, but he also doesn’t exactly have a muffin top. His breasts wen up one size, and Chastity is starting to grab things.

How many months? How many months since Sebastian has shot and killed his Father? Summer break lurks around the corner.   
Vincent is at work most days, Chastity loves to pull on Ciel’s clothing.

Sebastian still has his moments, but after going through eleven years of trauma, one would have their…moments. He crawls on top of Ciel, despite being much taller than his love.

They still haven’t had sex. Or done anything sexual since…that day. Well, Sebastian lets Ciel fondle his breasts sometimes.

 

Ciel wraps his arms around Sebastian, smiling and burying his face in his neck before lightly kissing it. It was hard to think of thinking differently about Sebastian. He squeezed the other, sighing and nuzzling into him before relaxing. He had only gotten slightly better at controlling his jealousy so far, and it was a long way before he was completely over it, if he ever was.

He’d gotten better at not showing it or complaining about it, and at expecting Sebastian to have his moments. He was more ready for them as time went on, and knew soemwhat what to do now. He was affected by them not doing anything sexual, and even when he was, he just quietly did his business elsewhere. He wouldn’t think of asking the other, for fear that he would give in simply because he wanted to

 

Sebastian is eighteen when he approaches Ciel for sex.   
Ciel is sixteen, Chastity is two. She still hasn’t said her first word, and her first steps were caught on tape. She has curly hair like Sebastian’s. She holds Ciel’s hand most days, watching the world carefully.

It’s a Wednesday. Sebastian completed his high school career, having skipped a grade in middle school. His breasts have faded away, since he patiently weaned Chastity when she was one. She is currently playing with her toys, watching Rainbowdash fly through the air.

“Ciel,” Sebastian says, sauntering over to his still tiny boyfriend. He lays next to him, looks at Ciel’s computer screen.   
“You’re going through puberty now, aren’t you,” Sebastian asks bluntly. He is awake when Ciel is having wet dreams.   
“Well, I-I think I-I wanna…you know…”   
He blushes deeply, squirming and palming at his crotch momentarily.

 

Ciel instantly turned around when he heard Sebastian say his name, his full attention going to the other.  Perhaps that’s why he blushed so much when he watched the other saunter toward him, his whole face becoming red as he nervously licked his lips.

He was going through puberty, and it was sufficient to say that all of his wet dreams were of him and Sebastian. It was becoming harder to restrain himself from asking Sebastian to have sex with him. “Yes, I am going through puberty.” He stated, not even surprised by how blunt Sebastian was being. But, his eyes immediately widened at what the other tried to phrase, and his blush deepened, until it covered his ears and neck. If it wasn’t easy enough to figure out, then the other palming at his crotch was hint enough. 

“Are you sure?” He asked, not able to help how his tone already turned slightly aroused and excited. “I won’t make you do this.” He exited out of the computer and turned it off, placing it next to him.

 

Sebastian nods, smiling widely. He crawls into Ciel’s lap, holding his boyfriend’s hand tightly.   
“I…I just don’t know who should you know…top. I suppose I’m afraid of fucking you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

He rolls his hips sensually, slowly, applying much pressure. Ciel is a sixteen year old, he can get hard at the gust of wind. Sebastian gently presses kisses all over Ciel’s face, preparing himself. Mentally.  
After a few moments of hip rolling, Sebastian turns to slowly palm Ciel’s clothed dick.   
He wants to make this feel good for Ciel.

“Let me ride you,” he says softly, panting. His hands rest on Ciel’s chest, pinching his nipples experimentally. He rubs the cute little pink nubs after pinching them. They’re already hard.   
Sebastian stops toying with Ciel to behind to twist and pinch his own nipples, moaning quietly.

 

Ciel squeezed Sebastian’s hand as his was tightly taken and held. His blush stayed on his cheeks as he listened to the other, before his eyes widened as Sebastian began to roll his hips. His blush got deeper, and he couldn’t help letting out a quiet moan as he quickly got hard. His free hand went to Sebastian’s hip, and he shuddered, pressing into the kisses that were placed over his face.

“I don’t know either, about who should top…” He murmured, licking his lips lightly before shaking his head slightly. Another quiet moan left him as Sebastian palmed his clothed cock, and his grip on Sebastian’s hip tightened slightly as he tilted his head back. The other was good at this, as well he should be, giving his past. He knew Sebastian could make him into a moaning and gibbering mess at any time that he wanted. 

He gasped as his nipples were pinched, the shock of pain quickly turning into pleasure for him as he licked his lips and arched his back into the other’s hands. “A-Alright.” He stuttered out, before glancing at Chastity and sighing. “But please, not in here where Chastity can see us.”

 

“Hm, we can do it in your dad’s bed again,” Sebastian purrs. He crawls off of Ciel and pulls his younger boyfriend into the room.   
He makes weird sounds as he seduces Ciel. Like it hurts.

They both get naked, and Sebastian grabs the sex lube from under Vincent’s bed. He kisses Ciel’s chest, pushing the younger down onto his back. Sebastian sits on his hips, but doesn’t let Ciel’s hard cock touch his ass. Sebastian’s own dick is hard, and Sebastian lifts his hips lightly.   
“F-Finger me open,” he begs to Ciel softly. Even though he knows it will hurt no matter what. Sebastian knows that he needs this. He needs to get over Samuel.

He’s moving too quickly for himself, but he doesn’t care. He just wants to forget. He just wants Ciel’s essence inside of him, he wants to be Ciel’s boyfriend. Not Samuel’s whore.

 

Ciel’s breath hitched at hearing Sebastian’s beg, and he gave a slow nod before grabbing the lube and spreading it over two of his fingers. He sat up slightly and reached forward, pressing his middle finger against Sebastian’s entrance. He bit the edge of his lip, his free hand roaming over Sebastian’s chest lightly as he slowly slid his finger inside.

He stayed still for a moment before thrusting it in and out of the other, always watching for his reaction to what he did. He didn’t want to do something wrong, or that would hurt him. 

After a few moments, he slowly slid in another finger, and scissored them, avvidentally hitting that special place inside of the other. “Like this?” He questioned, feeling the other relax around him.

 

Sebastian nods. His body is reacting, like he knew it would. Within a few moments he was dripping wet. Slick was coming out of him in ridiculous amounts, and he was making tiny sounds. He wasn’t sure if they were out of pleasure or out of pain, but hopes that Ciel finds them nice.   
He rolls his hips, and after only two fingers Sebastian grows impatient.

“In me,” he says softly, pulling Ciel’s fingers out of him.   
“In me, in me, I wanna feel you in me, Ciel.”

But when Ciel starts to enter him, Sebastian makes a wailing sound. It brings Ciel back to the video Samuel sent Ciel those months ago. It hurts, Sebastian immediately decides, but forces himself to open up. He isn’t bleeding, no his slick is keeping him from being hurt. But does he really want this?   
Yes! Yes, he does! He wants Ciel in him.

But his sounds are mostly painful, little whimpers and cries.

 

Ciel furrowed his brows as he noticed the slick coming out of Sebastian, but he was in no mind to question what it was. He quickly attributed it to Sebastian being a demon, since he knew it wasn’t a normal human thing to happen. He thought Sebastian’s small sounds were ones of pleasure, and he was even more turned on, especially when Sebastian pulled his fingers out of him and said he wanted him inside of him. 

He quickly put lube on his member, moaning when his hand pumped it a few times, before laying his head back and letting Sebastian slowly slide down on it. “Oh god…” He moaned out, shuddering and putting his hands on his hips. He bit the edge of his lower lip, but his cloud of pleasure was quickly taken down a level when  he heard Sebastian make a wailing sound. “You don’t have to do this, Sebastian.” He murmured, reaching up with one hand to stroke his arm. “You can stop.” He reached down, wrapping his hand around Sebastian’s dick and pumping it lightly to try to give him more pleasure.

 

“N-No-No, I have to do this. For me. For me, I gotta feel it…”   
He moans and shudders when Ciel touches him, quite obviously unused to the pleasure of being touched. Sebastian’s blush becomes worse, and he leans forward to press their foreheads together. He’s shuddering, having taking Ciel all the way to the hilt.   
He had taken Vincent once before, but he was higher than the clouds. He doesn’t remember anything. Except Vincent kissing him afterwards.   
“It feels good,” he whispers, grinding his hips. Ciel’s cock is a good size right now. He’ll probably grow to have Vincent’s size. Sebastian could care less about his own privates. He’s never actively wanted to have sex.

Well, right now he’s hard. And Ciel is still touching him.   
Sebastian raises his hips, and then drops himself. He does this a few times before he finds a nice rhythm, moaning every time he gets a touch on the special spot. His quiet moans turn to loud ones, and occasionally he lets out a tiny gasp of pain.

There’s a spot, other than his pleasure spot. One hit to that and Ciel will be fucking a dead body.

 

Ciel gave a slow nod, and his eyes half closed when Sebastian leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together. He put his hand back on Sebastian’s hips and rubs small circles with his thumbs. A low moan left him as Sebastian takes him takes him to the hilt, and shudders as the other grinds his hips. “Ah…like that…” He moaned out, licking his lips and kissing the other deeply. 

His moans grow louder as Sebastian starts to move, and he bends his knees so his feet are flat on the bed. “Ngh…Se-Sebastian…” He watches him with lustful eyes, drinking in the sight of him. Sebastian’s moans turn him on more, and he can’t resist bucking his hips up every time the other comes back down. He almost didn’t notice the pained gasps that left the other, since they happened so infrequently. 

 

Sebastian goes faster and faster, enjoying himself for first time in a long time. He moans louder and touches Ciel’s chest.  
After a bit more, Sebastian cums and milks Ciel until he does, too.

Sebastian pants and slowly gets off, squirming as he feels Ciel start to drip out of him. It feels good, though.   
He whines and spreads his legs, using his fingers to scoop most of the semen out. He gets it on the bed and goes to the bathroom.   
He cleans up the mess silently, his hands shaking. He thought Ciel could help him. Well, it’s not Ciel’s fault.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, kissing Ciel on the cheek before leaving.   
-   
Sebastian does his forgetting to eat thing again after that. He snacks on cubes of human flesh. When he runs out, he goes hunting. A few mangled bodies appear on the news.  
Chastity starts to eat the meat, too. Very very small bites.

Sebastian hides inside of himself most days. Watches Chastity walk. They are a quiet couple, speaking to each other silently

 

Ciel was starting to get worried about Sebastian again. He was being so quiet, it unnerved him. He kept up with his schoolwork, and did Sebastian’s whenever he forgot.  
He sighed, watching Chastity walk from his place at the laptop, where he was doing schoolwork. As a result of Sebastian’s silence, he had gotten more quiet also. He opened his mouth to say something, then shut it and looked away. How could one being be so confusing?!   
He stood up and walked to the kitchen, opening the fridge and grabbing the strawberries. He grabbed a few bananas and yogurt, then the blender and made a smoothie. He took a sip of it, nodding at the taste before walking down into the living room and puts a cup next to Sebastian before sitting down at the computer again.   
As the days went on, he was starting to notice how much more serious he was getting. He wasn’t as playful as he used to be, nor as innocent. And the constant worry was wearing him down to the point where sometimes he couldn’t help but to snap at the other or his father. “Sebastian, why are you being so quiet?” He asked, turning to the computer screen and just staring at it.

 

It’s like Sebastian doesn’t even hear him. He stays quiet for another moment.

“Hm? Oh. I’m not sure. I just…I can’t…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you worry.”   
He crawls up, and into Ciel’s lap. The computer is set aside so Sebastian can kiss his boyfriend. It’s a tiny kiss, just a little something for Ciel. Sebastian wraps his arms around Ciel, and kisses his jaw and neck.   
“I love you,” he whispers, arms tightening around Ciel’s neck and shuddering.   
His stomach growls.   
“Can you make me a smoothie, too?”   
-   
Sebastian is eighteen and a half when Chastity says her first word. It’s a sentence, actually. Sebastian is asking her if she can say Mama.   
“I love you, Mama,” she says, hugging her mother tightly. Sebastian hugs her back, and cries for awhile.

Chastity walks into the living room, looking up at Ciel. “Dada,” she says happily, holding her arms up. Chastity did a lot of watching and listening. But she knows who her Mama and Dada are.   
And right now she wants Dada to hold her.


	20. Chapter 20

Ciel widened his eyes as he heard Chastity speak, and he took his gaze off of the TV and down to her. “You said it!” He gasped out, bending over and picking her up before kissing the tip of her nose. “Good for you!”

He wondered if she had said anything to Sebastian. He had heard him crying for a while. He had given up on comforting him when he was crying. Nearly everything the other did was frustrating.  
He ran his fingers through her hair, smiling and asking, “Can you say it again? Who am I?” He wanted to hear her speak again. He sat her against his hip, leaving one arm around her as he walked out of the living room to their room. “Sebastian, did Chastity say anything to you?” He asked.

 

Chastity giggles and pokes Ciel’s cheek, “Dada! You’re dada!”  
She tucks her head underneath Ciel’s chin, holding onto him tightly. She smells like baby shampoo and cleanliness. Chastity sees her mama and says softly, “Mama!”   
Sebastian stands up, and looks at Ciel with his watery eyes.   
“She said that she loves me. That’s all I needed. You love me, and Chastity loves me. My family…I’m actually…happy.”  
Sebastian didn’t mean for anything to turn out like this. Why had he been so sad? Vincent had put him back on his meds awhile back. It stopped the voices.

Sebastian kisses Chastity’s head before he kisses Ciel, and the tears he had been shedding were out of happiness.   
-   
Sebastian is much much better after that. He eats regularly, and gains a good bit of weight. He looks amazing, and his sexual libido is through the roof. He’s constantly wanting it with Ciel. He wants to give a blowjob, he wants to get fucked and fuck.   
The twenty year old Sebastian sits next to Ciel, looking down at him.

Sebastian has grown like three feet. He’s currently standing at an impressive six foot one, and Chastity is bound to be tall, too.  
Sebastian is eager to leave, eager to get out and do something. But having Chastity weighs him down. He loves his little daughter, though.

 

Ciel had grown also, but not very much. He had grown to be a head smaller than Sebastian, or a foot smaller, whichever you prefer. He was five foot one and hated it. He was still smaller than his father in height. Whenever his height was mentioned, he automatically snapped.

Though, his worries had died down some and he had become more relaxed with the more that Sebastian ate regularly and how his sexual libido went up. He was constantly satisfied, as Sebastian’s sexual appetite seemed to be more than his own.

He had even forgotten about the urgency of the cult over the years. The more time that passed with nothing happening, the more he thought that they might have gotten out of it unscathed. It could have been they were over-exaggerating. Though, he still slept with a gun under his pillow out of a habit. He just didn’t carry it with him around the house anymore. And he didn’t have a permit to carry one in public.

He looked up at Sebastian as the other sat next to him, before watching Chastity play with her toys that his father had gotten her. “You know, we could always go to a park or something.” He suggested with a shrug. “There’s one near here, and it would be good to go there instead of being here all of the time.” He glanced back at Sebastian, wanting his input on the idea.

 

A park….Chastity needs to get out. They go for walks daily but anyone can tell that she’s bored.  
But she loves her mama and her papa, and always acts excited when Sebastian asks her to go for a walk.

But a park…where Chastity can interact other kids.   
Twenty years old, and Sebastian hasn’t really changed from sixteen. He’s still rather effeminate. Taller. Healthier.   
Sebastian pulls on a pair of small shorts, and ties a corset around his waist before pulling his largest shirt over it. The corsets aren’t tight anymore. Well, he doesn’t tie them tight enough to hurt. It gives him curves, or accentuates his curves. He even stuffs a bra, to make sure no one thinks that he isn’t a girl.

He doesn’t want to be stared at. He doesn’t want Ciel to be stared at.

Words like ‘homosexual’ and 'gay’ or 'straight’…Sebastian doesn’t really realize what they mean. He loves Ciel. Why can’t he love Ciel?

“Are you ready to go?”   
-   
Chastity jumps into the car, wiggling happily. She sings along with the radio, and Sebastian uses the car Vincent bought for him.

Sebastian looks at Ciel, and smiles.   
“I love you,” he whispers, leaning across and kissing his boyfriend softly.

 

Ciel watched as Sebastian got dressed, putting the corset on and then the shirt over it. He was still making himself look like a female. He sighed, looking away and waiting for the other. Even by doing so, someone would know by the sound of his voice that he was a male. And he didn’t mind the stares he was sometimes given. He was used to it, since he was gay himself. 

“Yeah, I’m ready.” He murmured, standing up from the bed and walking over, taking Sebastian’s hand. “We should be able to stay there for a couple hours.”

-

Ciel laughs as Chastity sings along with the radio, turning slightly so he could watch her in her booster seat. He turns to look at Sebastian as he sees the other smile, and he smiles back, and kisses him back. “I love you.” He whispers back, shaking his head. “Now keep your eyes on the road before you kill us.” He said playfully, pointing out of the windshield.

 

The drive is short and sweet, and Sebastian nervously lets Chastity play. He gets a few compliments, which make him even more nervous. What if by ‘your daughter is cute’ they mean 'I wanna fuck her?’

Sebastian holds onto Ciel’s hand tightly, pitching his voice up to talk to a few passing strangers. He makes a very convincing girl. He gets a few stares on the ass, and Sebastian squeezes Ciel’s hand when Chastity gets too far.   
Sebastian sits them down underneath a tree near the playground, where Chastity is making friends left and right. She’s a social butterfly, giggling with the boys and girls.

Sebastian leans his head on Ciel’s shoulder. He can’t believe how fast Chastity grew. She’s four years old. And happy, for the most part. She sometimes has nightmares. But her mental illnesses don’t seem to show. Sebastian is popping pills daily to keep himself sane. He works odd jobs to pay for them, even though Vincent told him not to.

He pays purely in cash. A bit suspicous, but Sebastian isn’t hurting himself.   
He kisses Ciel’s neck, and sighs softly.

 

Ciel squeezed Sebastian’s hand back, leaning his head against his shoulder as he watched Chastity play. He does his best to comfort Sebastian, by stroking his hand, murmuring things under his breath that no one would hurt Chastity. It wasn’t normal for strangers to hurt small children when they were being watched like Chasity was. If he wasn’t watching her, then Sebastian was. She was safe.

He kept watching their daughter when Sebastian spoke to a few strangers and smiled as he relaxed. It seemed like only yesterday that Chastity was born, but she was already four.  He calls her back when she goes too far, watching as he smiles and walks closer to them.

He lifted his head, letting Sebastian rest his head on his shoulder. Chastity was so friendly, already seeming like most of the other children were her friends. “She already has so many friends. And no one will hurt her. We’re both watching her.” he murmured, turning his head and kissing Sebastian’s temple. He strokes Sebasitan’s hand and relaxes, his eyes almost closing as he considered taking a nap. It was warm enough to, and he was sure Sebastian would watch her and that he would wake up if anything happened…

 

They are both watching her, Sebastian thinks. But he senses Ciel starting to doze, and he lets him nap. Ciel deserves a nap. Any sort of nap.   
Sebastian sits up, to give Ciel comfort. He rubs his hand, watches Chastity like a hawk. Every time she smiles, when she runs, when she yells “Mama watch me!”

Sebastian is there. Watching her.

But when he hears screaming, and he looks around wildly, he knows something is wrong.   
He receives a thump on the back of the head, and blackness.   
-   
Ciel and Sebastian wake up in a rather dark room. They are tied to a chair, rope around their midsections   
“Chastity,” Sebastian calls, closing his eyes tightly when a single bulb is turned on.

It’s Michael, holding a phone.   
On the other end, Chastity starts to cry.   
“Mama! Mama! Daddy! Help me, please!”  
Sebastian instantly starts to cry, and he yells back, “Chastity! Baby, Mama and Daddy love you. We love you.”   
“They told me you dont, Mama. I love you. I love you and Daddy. I love you, Daddy.”   
“They’re lying. Mama and Dada love you very much.”

Michael waits for Ciel to say ‘I love you, Daddy loves you’ before ending the call. Chastity was in the middle of saying 'I love you.’

Sebastian starts to growl, showing his fangs. He opens his mouth to say something, but is met with a rag.   
-   
The second time they wake up, Sebastian is first. He feels a small body pressed against his. They’re in the garage.   
He looks down, and immediately he screams.

Chastity. Cold, stiff Chastity, laying in his arms. Blood is smeared on the ground, and on Sebastian’s body

 

Ciel let out a soft groan as he woke up, his eyes fluttering open slowly as his senses returned to him. When he felt the coarseness of the rope around him, securing him tightly to the chair, his eyes widened and he quickly began to twist and struggle. He heard Sebastian call out for Chastity, and while it was comforting to have the other so close to him, his heart still jumped into his throat and seemed to strangle him as he searched the dark room for their daughter. He fought back against the rising wave of panic, and fought harder against his bonds, feeling the rope quickly wear through his shirt and begin to scrape at his skin, causing it to redden and for him to hiss in pain.

He winced as the bulb was turned on, and blinked his eyes rapidly before noticing Michael and refusing to let him out of his sight.

His eyes narrowed as he heard Chastity begin to cry on the other end of the line, his gaze flickering to the phone and staying glued on it. He tensed, glaring at the small device as he refused to stop struggling, even when the rope was wearing so much on his skin that he was letting out small whimpers and was about to start bleeding and he was panting in exhaustion. He refused to give up and give in.

It felt like needles stabbing into his heart as he heard Sebastian start to cry, and he listened to them, while his heart ached. He let out a soft sound, crying out, “I love you. Daddy loves you.” He wanted to say so much more, but the call was ended, causing him to flinch and shake his head.

“What is the meaning of this?! Why are you doing this?!” He growled out, his gaze going back to Michael as he glared icily at him, his gaze protective and furious. His struggles renewed with a new strength, and he closed his eyes tightly as a wet rag was placed over his nose and mouth. The sharp smell on it penetrated his nose, though he immediately tried to hold his breath and fight off the oncoming dizziness and faintness. He frantically shook his head, letting out small sounds of protest as he reached up and struggled to push Michael’s arms away. But his attempts were getting weaker, and black was spreading across his vision when he opened his eyes. “Don’t…you dare…hurt her…” He gasped out the threat, his throat sore and aching before the blackness consumed him.

-

Ciel was next snapped awake by the sound of Sebastian’s frightened and sorrowful scream. It pierced through him, and he immediately snapped awake and stiffened, not knowing how much time had passed. He groaned as he felt how exhausted he was, and slowly crawled toward Sebastian, his body protesting and whimpers leaving him every time the marks of the rope touched the ground. “Sebastian…” He murmured, crawling around him and sitting down. He immediately gasped and cried out as he first saw the blood, worry overtaking him, before his gaze lifted and he saw Chastity’s body.

“No. Not her.” He sobbed out, the breath leaving him in a rush as if he’d been punched. He reached out a trembling hand toward her, slowly running his hands through her hair.

Yet, while the intense grief roared through him, there was an intense fury and rage that competed with it that was building up inside of him. “Damn it!” He screamed, tears running down his face as he punched the ground. “Why?! Why her?!” He demanded, glaring at anything and nothing. “Why not one of us?!” He shines and repeatedly pounded his fist on the ground, letting out angry screams as he shook his head. “Damn it! Why?!” He kept repeating.

Everything seemed to ache within him, and he was aching in both fury and grief. “They’ll pay. They have to.” He demanded, not caring who heard him.

 

Sebastian was too horror stricken to look at Ciel. Or respond. He just stared into his daughter’s lifeless eyes, the way they stared blankly at him. How cold she was. How cold her blood was. How her body was starting to smell. How long have they been here? How long has…have…they kept them drugged?

They’re still in the dark room, the one single lightbulb lit. Sebastian stands, even though his muscles ache. He carries Chastity in one arm, and his hand fumbles around a smooth wall. At one point he comes across a bump and trips, dropping Chastity. He makes a small sobbing sound, and picks her back up. He whispers, “Mama’s sorry,” and keeps going.

He has somewhat better eyesight. Where Ciel is pitch black, for Sebastian’s it’s all a dim orange. The glow from the light bulb. He finds a garage door opener, and slams it.   
-   
It’s raining outside. Thundering. Lightening. A wild, thrashing storm. Sebastian doesn’t seem fazed, just clutches Chastity’s dead body tighter.   
“Where are we,” he says softly, looking around. They’re surrounded by trees. They were left in a small house, with the windows and doors boarded up. Graffiti here and there. Abandoned. Or, bought by Samuel and made to look abandoned. It’s probably the latter.

“Ciel,” Sebastian says sharply, telling him to snap out of hit. “They will pay. I know the cult did this. I should’ve known that Samuel wasn’t dead. Monsters like him don’t die that easily.

 

Ciel attempted to watch Sebastian as he got up and walked around, but once he was a few feet away, he disappeared into the pitch darkness that surrounded them. He was still fuming glaring at the ground and into the darkness, as if he’d see Michael’s eyes peering at him, watching him. He was anything but scared. He was only exhausting himself more, as he continued to rage and scream obscenities, but he didi’t care. It didn’t matter anymore. His daughter had been taken from him, and it was a cruel blow. He flinched as he heard the button for the garage door opener being slammed, and his raging stopped for a moment as he squinted at the sudden light. He didn’t have his phone. He hadn’t bothered to bring it with them to the park, having thought that nothing would happen. How foolish he was. He flinched as he heard the thunder and saw the storm, stepping back farther into the garage before catching what he was doing and walking toward Sebastian. Every movement made his body ache, and he glanced down, laughing dryly he as saw the dried blood on his shirt. So the rope had cut into him He looked at the house, shaking his head. “I don’t know. But I want to find them. Now.” He growled clenching his hands into fists. He was snapped out of his fury as Sebastian his sharply spoke name, and his gaze dropped to the ground in shame. “I’m sorry. It’s just my way of coping. It’s my way of proving I’m not weak and that I can protect you.” But he had failed. He had failed in that promise. His gaze lifted to Chastity, and he blinked away tears. He had failed her. Maybe if he hadn’t slept, if he hadn’t suggested they go to the park why did he have to suggest they go to the park? It’s my fault I suggested we go to the park.I’m sorry..” He looked apologetically at the other, stepping out into the rain and feeling how soaked and frozen he quickly became. “We need to know where we are…”

 

"I don’t need protection,” Sebastian says softly. Stone cold. He’s as bent on revenge as Ciel is. Maybe even more so. Sure, Chastity was Ciel’s daughter too but the bond he shared…Sebastian birthed that child. He went through the labor. The pregnancy pains. And it was worth it. But now…his entire world has crumbled. They killed Chastity. There is no doubt on who did it. There’s maybe a case for a why, but the who and the how is obvious. Samuel did it. Because he wanted to show Sebastian that he cannot be killed by simple means.   
Like cannibalism.

Sebastian holds Chastity in one arm and breaks into the house with the other. The TV is running, and the place is fully finished. Running water. Ac. It’s warm, and Sebastian shakes his head to get the water from his hair.   
He sets Chastity down on the couch, covering her up with a blanket and kissing her forehead. “Mama is so sorry,” he says softly, kissing her face. He loves his daughter. Chastity can’t be dead. She is just resting.

Sebastian doesn’t want to sleep. He feels like he’s slept for days. Weeks. Months. Years.   
He turns it to the news, sitting on the couch next to Chastity.

June 18th. They were locked away for two weeks. Who knows what’s happening? They’re also in Sebastian, Florida. That would explain the humidity. And the cruel irony.


End file.
